The Lord Nelson — Restaurant in Broadland

Turned up to this pub firstly in Sept 2010, and as it was a live band night, most shortcomings were disguised by the music which was lively folk. By the time of turning up, I was on my 3rd cider as I'd already had some on the boat. Was a good night, and thought I'd return again in future.

The next time, it was the following April (remember that great weather, it was like July) and had moored up by about 2pm. Outside the Lord Nelson, noticed there were people already well into a binge (or their normal day, who knows!), and thought they looked pretty rough and unwashed- perhaps a folk band filling up for later! Anyway, cut to the evening and thought I'd go there first. It was quiet, but could hear mumbling, and the main door was shut, but not locked, so opened it to reveal a similar group of people to earlier, I could smell smoke, there was no band, and the owner who, can only be described as being closely related to the toothless bloke from Deliverance. He told me they were closed (I think that's what he said). This was at 9pm. Don't know what happened in that 8 month period, but it seemed the pirates had taken over, and was glad I wasn't let in. I'd probably still be in there now.

Reviewer (starting "STINKING PLACE."), I found your review a bit hard to read in places, could have done with a bit of time and proof-reading, but it's strong and you were obviously passionate about getting your point across! The poppy 'rule' is very wrong and surely must be illegal. I can see the pub getting to the state you described more recently, considering it went down so far in 8 months in my experience. Wonder if it's been closed down or cleaned up now? The short description at the top was definitely out-of-date...

firstly the chef when i turnt up was sitting in the bar, on his phone, HIGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL, ive worked as a chef at many a pub, and would never think of sitting at the bar on my phone at 1:30pm during lunch service . Time to lean, time to clean (kitchen looked like it needed, how on earth did they ever pass a eho inspection i’ll never know…) but anyway i bought fish and chips from the local chip shop to share with my mum out the front didn’t see the sign about not eating food what’s not bought on their premises on there, when they questioned me i apologised sincerely and said i’d move, moved onto the grass that’s technically not there land just to eat the chips, to then go and finish my pint after, for the chef to come out and threaten to throw me in the river if i didn’t leave. (asked for a refund on the pint that i hadn’t touched yet.) Considering half the menu looks very basic he’s clearly making up for his cooking skills in his own arrogance and massive ego, menus speak a thousand words espically to a chef and when you can see the love for food has gone, you can see it quite clearly with this guy… DO NOT GO HERE GO TO THE SHIP INSTEAD, EVEN THE QUAY-MASTER WAS SHOCKED AT WHAT HAPPENED, APOLOGISED FOR THE PUBS ACTIONS AND IS GOING TO HAVE A WORD WITH THE LANDLADY we are very much aware about what we did wrong, but to be spoken to in the fashion that we were when i moved off their premises to eat the food is unacceptable, then to get threatened by the angry chef who’s clearly upset about the lack of covers his awful menu is pulling in for lunch, is bang out of order. the guys on the quay on the other hand were brilliant, espically...

We decided try out the restaurant at the Lord Nelson as it had been refurbished last year and was now under new management . When I inquired if there were any tables free we were told take your pick ! on reflection that should have been enough to promote a swift exit, but no, being the eternal opptomist I decided to cross the threshold into the restaurant . The first issue we encountered was the sunken and worn out table seating, from the condition of the seats I suspect Horatio himself had seen the best out of this furniture . We ordered our meal and sat back with a large glass of wine , chatted and waited for our gastronomic delight to arrive . We both concluded there must be a true magician in the kitchen as our meals appeared in under five minutes. We were soon to discover this was not sorcery but the work of something called a "microwave " . Narn bread , popperdoms , chips and chicken all just zapped in the microwave. I can quite comfortably say in forty years of eating around the world we have never encountered such a disgusting pathetic excuse for a meal. We both left the table and also the filth that had appeared on it,...