Cookies Crab Shop — Restaurant in North Norfolk

This place is so bad it makes you want to swear!!!

Having only been here once, years before, before I remember having an enormous lobster and seafood platter and not paying the earth for it. It was a great meal, everything was fresh and nicely prepared and we were very happy.

The first thing we noticed, was the handwritten sign in the window stating 'cash only'. Now, I don't remember if it's always been this way or not, and frankly I couldn't care less - essentially how is anyone meant to guess that cards will not be accepted for payment in an age where cash is so seldom used any longer? The locals pubs must be doing a roaring trade in selling their food because a) they will take many of those who haven't been told that Cookies only takes cash, and b) they DO accept card payments.

The bloke who was running the show was generally sullen and very matter of fact and made no attempt to welcome us in any way whatsoever. As we were leaving we thanked him, but he didn't even bother raising his head to address us. He made no attempt at an apology or explanation for the cash only situation, but simply said "I don't mind if you wait until you've eaten", which in the grand scheme of things wasn't terrible, but the whole experience just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

And I haven't even got close to describing the food yet...

When we were shown to our table it was still covered in the spilled salt and pepper and general detritus from whoever had been sitting there previously. But what was worse than this is that the table wasn’t ever cleaned during our whole time there. Not as we arrived, not as we sat down nor as we were sat down. Utterly disgusting.

The ‘main man’ who was running the place came to take our order, but when one of our number asked if she could have a crab sandwich we were told that we could only order main meals because we’d taken up lots of room in the place and that he was loosing money from having turned people away. The absolute audacity of this man! If he didn’t want to accept such a large booking for 9 people he didn’t have to. Not only that but we spent not an inconsiderable amount in total, and one sandwich wasn’t going to break his bank. The man was JUST SO RUDE. I have never ever been spoken to like that by any person running any catering business, and I have worked in the business myself for many years.

After we’d ordered we were given a dirty, blackened-with-filth-around-the-edges number printed on paper and cheaply laminated or stuck between two pieces of plastic and asked to quote it if we wanted any more food and drink. We did ask for more drinks, but we didn’t quote the number – seeing as we were the only table of people in the place for most of our time there it seemed fairly obvious to us which bill they needed to add stuff to. We were also on the only table which sat 9 people.

Now we get to the food.

The main parts of each dish were perfectly fine: the dressed crab was OK and the hot smoked fish were equally just as good, but the salad items which came with them were lacklustre and limp. The tomatoes were cut, it seems, days ago, and were squishy and floppy to the point of being almost inedible. As were the salad leaves. The “seafood sauce” which came with the meal was terrible. It was just mayonnaise and ketchup. There wasn’t even a hint of Worcestershire sauce, lemon juice or cayenne pepper in sight.

They have no toilet facilities, the place is generally unkempt: dusty and cobwebby with 2 huge spiders in the corner of the room.

All in all it was a thoroughly unpleasant experience and I would warn anyone who wishes to visit this place to stay well clear. Spend your hard earned money somewhere it will be appreciated, and somewhere which you’re not at risk of having a spider drop onto your fork as you place it in your mouth.

I give this place 15 out of 10 for terribleness.

Save your well earned money and spend it somewhere it will be...

This cafe is set in a very wonderful place and with very picturesque views and thats about as good as it gets. Id read about it online saying the seafood was exceptional so really wanted to go. What a waste of time! The owners are sour faced and miserable and got the feeling that if you're not spending a lot of money on the big seafood platters they're not that bothered. It's a cash only place which would have been nice to know about before we came (it's not mentioned clearly anywhere on-line). In a world where we are becoming cashless this is an oversight on their behalf as it's in the middle of nowhere and no cash machines for miles. We managed to scrape together enough money for the 3 of us to have a sandwich. I would have had the more expensive platters but that wasn't going to happen. Wish we had gone to the pub next door. We had to sit right next to a skip as they said every other table was reserved but while we were there no-one came and sat on any tables near us! My mother-in-law is vegetarian so had a cheese sandwich which was so expensive for what you actually got. Cheap brown bread with grated cheese. No salad, no condiments or seasoning. And as for the crab sandwiches my wife and I had; what a waste of time. Again cheap bread no seasoning or salad, thin spreading of mostly brown crab meat with sparse white crab meat. Absolutely dreadful. M+S prawn sandwiches are light years ahead in taste and quality than this lot and cheaper too. Now looking at other reviews they seem to think this place is great, that maybe if you're spending a lot of the big stuff but you've also got to get the basics right for it to be a good cafe. And also cheer up for gods sake! The amount you're making on cheaply made sandwiches should make you happy! They also charge you more money to have it outside which seems ludicrous. I wouldn't bother going and we certainly will not be in the future. Please look at the other bad reviews (as I did while writing this) as they...

PLEASE READ BEFORE COMING HERE!!!!

I’ve never been one to write reviews, but after the UNBELIEVABLY disgusting encounter I’ve just had, it’s an absolute no brainer. I took my partner and his 82 year old grandmother to Cookies Crabs as it’s something she’d wanted to do for a while, after an hour and 10 minute journey we finally arrive. We walk in to cookies crabs and up to the counter; the man instantly had a bad attitude, I told the man neither myself nor my partners Nan could see the board with the food on, he proceeded to sigh very loudly then read out the menu. My partners Nan then questioned him on the crab, to which he responded by saying that he’d been doing it enough years to know good crab in a very belittling, aggressive manner. My partners Nan decided she didn’t want to eat anything so my partner and I proceeded to order. He stood there with his arms crossed and acted very impatient with us which made us feel very pressured to order. Once we decided what we wanted he turned around and said ‘we’ll if SHE’S not eating you can leave’?!!!?! I questioned him on this (bearing in mind it wasn’t at all busy and had plenty of free tables) and told him it took us over an hour to get here to which he said ‘well that’s tough, if she’s not ordering you can leave’. Myself and my partners Nan were clearly shocked and distressed by his attitude toward us and his response was to laugh at us. I proceeded to tell him his attitude was appalling and we walked out. As we were heading to the exit he shouted at us ‘bye-bye!’ and waved. This establishment has been running since 1956, the original founders would be turning in their graves if they knew the despicable, warped behaviour of its current owner. Cookies Crabs you should be ashamed with yourselves, we wanted to take an elderly lady out for a nice day and it ended in tears. I implore you not to visit this hell hole and give these spawns of satan your hard earned money....