The Churchillian Cosham — Restaurant in Portsmouth

A snowball effect of issues left me still feeling disappointed about our Sunday lunch the next day, much so I felt impelled to leave a review.

It was clearly busy and under staffed and that is fine, always happy to wait if the service is good. However once we were at the bar and had waited in the long queue we were sent back to pick something else and then queue again. Surely we should of been told of menu issues before we picked. Our friends had already ordered at that point so we we knew we would then have a long wait between our orders. (We came as a group to eat as a group).

We clearly figured out who was in charge by the way she was talking so rudely to her staff and to customers. Unfortunately for her our friends (who were dining separately) happened to be stood at the bar when she decided to bad mouth our table after we sent food back that we proved we did not order.

I am in the industry in the same position and was sickened by the way she was talking to her staff, they almost looked scared to go to her with a problem.

A poor lady approached her and asked if her and her husband could sit in side. She had just walked in the door and hadn't noticed several reserved signs on the table. In which the manager replied, clearly the tables with reserved signs are reserved. The lady replied, OK but is there any that are not reserved, just a table of two please. The manager replied, well obviously if it hasnt got a reserve sign on you can clearly sit there. This was said with the most sarcastic smile and nod of the head the lady looked embarrassed. Fair enough if they were reserved but why lead with the first sentence? Why not, of course how many of you? Two, Yes sure these are reserved but let me show you to a table... not hard.

Our food was lovely, we had the roast. However we were baffled by the portion sizes as they were so different plate to plate and items one person had the other didn't. A member of our group called the manager over to the table, she came over with a look of disgust on her face. We just mentioned to her that two of the roasts were missing mash and a side of cauliflower cheese was missing but he didn't want it anymore because he had almost finished when we managed to find someone to ask. A sarcastic sorry just about pushed it's way out of her lips. The next moment a handful of what can only be described as shrapnel was smacked down on the table. Followed with, that's for you cauliflower cheese. No sorry, no nothing. (We didn't ask for a refund, we just thought she may be interested to know as the manager). What happened next blew my mind. We clearly stated we didn't want what was missing yet a waitress turned up with two small bowls of mash and a the cauliflower cheese acting as if it was always coming out. We had all finished and clearly was not going to eat it. We looked at her confused and said sorry we didn't ask for that and your boss has gave a refund. She hung her head down and walked away, felt sorry for her to be honest.

I understand every business has busier periods of the day, can be understaffed, lack of experience, unexpected good weather and stock issues. As a manager this is just basic day to day problems. The attitude was appalling. There was no structure to the day, it was a free for all. Why is the manager clearing and setting up tables whilst her staff are fluttering around looking confused and not really doing much trying to deal with problems themselves when they clearly don't have the answers.

Such a shame and we hope one day we can visit again but the whole experience was just miserable and put us...

Can only imagine the 4 stars on here is for the view from the window ?!

Everything inside was literally awful !

We had a table of 6 around 5:30pm on a Sunday. On arrival there were a few other tables seated, but not busy.

Our table was filthy and not laid out with cutlery despite pre-booking.

Then it just went from bad to worse.

I’ll list a brief summary to save time reading ! Menu had simple items unavailable eg; Hunters Chicken .. but they have no BBQ sauce. No seafood mains available Starters were all microwaved and/or fried. Literally turned up looking like they’d been rescued from the bin of the last tables leftovers. “Side garnish” looked like grass. Asian slaw was .. I just don’t know. Chilli jam sausages are like dog food consistency jellied meat, again microwaved. We ordered a selection of mains and nobody was spared except the person who ordered a burger ! Pork roast was cold anyway and brought out whilst we were still eating starters, and nearly 15mins before anyone elses main, with no sides. We asked for a replacement to allow us to eat together and a warm meal for £14, which actually ended up being the same microwaved meal returned with gravy and red cabbage added to side as a “gesture” ?! (The plate was in fact boiling from microwave and we’d removed the crackling and marked the gravy from the original roast so we’d recognise its return) Hunters chicken looked more like a slab of cheese with the same fries pictured in an earlier review on here. 2 x pies were served with 4 carrots as a side and a huge space on the plate for maybe a potato ? .. but that never arrived. Side of chips ordered to fill the plate space .. they never arrived, along with a coffee ordered at the same time .. both were on the bill. Sweet potato & leek tortellini has the same chilli paste dog food sauce as the sausages we think ?! Two sides of veg were so ‘microwavingly’ (my new word) dehydrated that we couldn’t tell what veg it actually was ?! This did actually become amusing in the end ?!

First time I’ve ever refused to pay somewhere in my life, or anywhere in the world. The bill (no drinks) came to approx £125. I offered to pay £30 for the burger and tortellini but this was declined and we were made to pay £58 instead for our starters ?! Not sure on the logic here.

Promised a call back to discuss our issues … have today chased and awaiting a call from head office apparently ?!

Sept 2024 - fyi call back never received 😅

Either way, won’t be returning for even a drink. It’s such a shame as this pub has an incredible location and such an opportunity to thrive...

I booked the upstairs function room for a surprise party for my wife's birthday. The room comfortably held 40-50 guests, with room for the buffet, a DJ and the dance floor. Dedicated bar staff were on hand for the entirety of the event, with Lauren as our main server.

Lauren deserves special mention, as she absolutely went above and beyond in looking after us, including helping my daughters with some of the setting up (they went a bit crazy on the balloons, so it took longer than they anticipated). Thank you Lauren!

Setting up was a bit more stressful than perhaps it needed to be as between me signing the contract and being told that there was no prior booking that day so we could get in from 1530 for a 1830 start, and the actual day of the event, a prior booking was made and it was until 1700. Not complaining about that, but the Manager (Duty Manager?) got a bit shirty with my daughters (strangely not to me 🤔) and stated that we were told 1700... which is weird, as I'd never seen that individual before, and I was told 1530 to my face. I completely understand that another booking had come in, so merely point out that the management team, when "managing" the booking, perhaps could have communicated with the customer more clearly. To be fair, after being asked if there was somewhere else that could be used for blowing up the balloons, a back room was offered.

I paid for the Deluxe Buffet, and I liked it, though it didn't really cover some of the fussier eaters, and that's something I never thought about beforehand, to be honest. My youngest daughter was a bit miffed about the lack of the advertised "Mini King Prawn Cocktail". I also had to ask a few times, from the first enquiry in person, for the buffet options, then received them 3 days before the last opportunity to order, then an email the following day with a reminder... I work in an environment where I don't have access to personal electronic devices for the majority of the working day, and didn't actually look at any of my emails until just after the deadline had passed, but Heidi reopened the booking form when I pointed out my dilemma... very helpful.

Overall, would I recommend The Churchillian as a venue for a party? Yes.

Would I recommend without the ability for almost constant 2-way communications? No,...