The Essex Arms — Restaurant in Watford

I don't even know where to start... I ordered a tuna and mayo sandwich which the bread was stale, we sent it back and were told it's because we ordered on two different tills and the bread was under the heater? As if it was our fault. We got a new sandwich sent to us. Anyway, they have cushioned seats, after about 5 minutes I noticed my dress felt wet... I stood up and noticed the seat was drenched and so was my dress. At first I thought it was a drink which had been dropped by someone or the chair had been cleaned and had soaked up in the cushion and as I sat down and had put pressure on the seat that's what made so much "drink" or whatever I thought it was, come out. As I smelt my dress I smelt urine, yep actual urine. Someone had sat on that chair and pissed on it. I felt so disgusted and violated, we called a manager over who said he was sorry and offered free drinks and to pay to dry clean my dress. But who the hell would want to keep a dress knowing it had been drenched in urine, I didn't even eat my meal I was so put off and embarrassed. Even for free drinks, why would I want to sit in my dress that was literally drenched. So my mum went up to the bar and spoke to another manager who was so rude, he kept repeating it wasn't their problem and wasn't offering anything but to dry clean the dress. Of course I can't expect them to go round smelling chairs, but to say it isn't your problem when its YOUR property is disgraceful. He was so defensive and literally arguing with us about it. The WORST customer service experience I've ever encountered. Do I have to remind them that it wasn't a drink it was actual urine, and not just a small amount.. my whole bum was wet and the seat was leaking through. I then came up to the bar to show how upset and disgusted I was, and after 10-15 minutes of him arguing with us he said he would refund all our meals to cover the price of the dress but that's only because me and my mum had to make such a fuss and show how distressed I was that I was sitting in someones urine. My mum literally had to beg for him to pay to replace the dress. But during this, he was swearing under his breathe to other employees and kept sighing as if this was an inconvenience to him, overall was a useless, rude and terrible manager. If he had just been nice and helpful from the start, it wouldn't of escalated to the point we called head office. How someone like him is a manager, I really don't know but he should leave or be trained properly. I was still waiting for compensation for even being treated the way we did. Even after speaking to head office, it seem's there's a repetition going on in how they all have bad "customer service" absolutely...

Review Title: Welcome to the Smelly Arms – Where Hospitality Goes to Die

Ah, the Essex Arms, or as I’ve affectionately renamed it, The Smelly Arms. Don’t let the charming ambience and ideal location fool you—this pub is a fever dream wrapped in stale sweat and existential despair.

Let’s start with the staff. You know those people who look like they just learned about happiness from a textbook but gave up halfway through? That’s them. Misery oozes from behind the bar faster than the flat lager they serve. It’s almost impressive. You want a smile? Bring one yourself, because none are available here.

And then there’s the manager—the crown jewel of this circus. This gentleman (using the term loosely) seems to be juggling a few challenges: a foul mood, anger issues, and a wardrobe that hasn’t met a washing machine since the Stone Age. If grumpiness were a sport, he’d have Olympic gold. Asking for a pint feels like you’ve insulted his entire lineage. I’d suggest he shower, but I suspect his skin might reject the concept of cleanliness altogether.

The owners? Oh, they’re running this place like they’ve got one foot in the pub and the other foot in liquidation. Every creak of the barstool whispers, “Why am I still here?” It’s as if they’re looking for an excuse to close the doors permanently—but not before squeezing out the last ounce of joy from their customers.

On the bright side, the ambience and location are lovely! It’s the kind of place you’d love to spend hours in… if you were deaf, blind, and had no sense of smell.

In summary, the Smelly Arms is an experience. A feverish, chaotic, comedy of errors. Come for the location, stay for the stories—because you’ll leave with plenty to tell (and possibly a lungful of damp pub air).

1/5 stars—would visit again, but only to confirm it wasn’t...

1st time visiting here - Bearing in mind this is my first review I’ve ever written on a food/pub and done my fair bit of travelling over the years that the food was never to this much of a dissapointment even in third world countries - the portion size competes with them though 😩 Well…..the beer is good, but only had one to wash down the cold gravy - really gutted that this was the most saddest roast dinner I’ve ever had- been a plumber for 3 main Hertfordshire hospitals all through the pandemic and don’t get many sundays free to sit down and have a meal with my children finished early and got here for about 4pm so maybe I was abit late but anyhow the menu specifies a stuffing ball with the meal…..that wernt on the plate and had to pay 50p for a extra one - seasonal veg ???? Does pea pods and a bit of cabbage as long as my finger count and partially cooked and a carrot that weren't pealed with the stalk still left on was enough - beef was cold barely lute warm. - overall dissapointed and upset I’ve wasted my Sunday afternoon on this full of potential and polite and understanding staff - I didn’t complain or made a point only to the guy that was serving us and he totally agreed that food should be stopped once the standard is not up to a standard of below par…such a shame cause the atmosphere and decor of the pub is lovely would have a drink here but never food sadly until it ups it game - was going treat the workmen to Christmas dinner here because of the locability to everyone’s areas but now no...