J.T. Farnham's — Restaurant in Essex

I know this is a popular place, but I can't in good conscience give it more than two stars and they are earned entirely on the food alone, which was okay but lacking in flavor and slightly overpriced.

After a long day soaking up the sun, our group was looking for somewhere to grab a bite. Most places were still closed (COVID), but this one was open so we decided to give it a try. The line outside to order was long but we didn't mind waiting even if the flies were making a meal of us (the irony). When we got to the window, we told the woman we wanted calamari for four people, fries, and some fried clams. We took the suggestion of a medium box of clams and two plates of calamari, asked if there was inside seating available (to get away from the flies), paid close to $80 (cash only!?), took our ticket and went around back to go inside and find a table.

Eating inside did nothing to escape the biting flies, because they were buzzing around and on the table, as well as, the window we were seated at. We were brought two cups of ice and two bottled waters, which obviously were paid for because for some reason she said they couldn't pour water (COVID, maybe?). Regardless, we swatted the flies and waited for our number to be called... and waited... and waited. After about 30 minutes, we heard the woman who took our order say there were five orders sitting there waiting to be served and asked someone to help someone else get them out, but I guess none of them were ours. After over 40 minutes sitting at our table with dead flies and two empty bottes of water, we heard the faint calling of our number on the loudspeaker outside... but we're inside and they told us they'd bring it to us, so one of us got up and asked if they just called our number outside and noted that we are (obviously) sitting inside. The woman who took our order said, "Did you tell us you were sitting inside?" as if it was our fault for the mix-up.

Starving and with our food finally brought to the table, we pulled the box of clams out of the bag and started picking at the plate of calamari. After about two pieces, we realized something wasn't right. There was no way a paper plate, half calamari and half fries, was going to feed four people. Instead, we had a mountain of clams and enough calamari for one. We immediately told our server something didn't seem right and she went to get the manager, who as it turns out we the same woman who took our order to begin with. We voiced our confusion and displeasure in the lengthy wait, for which she diverted responsibility again and blamed an employee, but she wouldn't even acknowledge the issue let alone offer an apology or solution. It would seem, despite what we had discussed at the ordering window, she had written down a large box of clams and small plate of calamari on the slip and that might as well have been the word of God. I want to assume it was an error of communication (they were very busy after all) and not the manager of a cash-only establishment taking advantage of the noted but otherwise mysterious surcharge on clams to slyly up-sell us on a $50 box of clams, but it's difficult not to wonder because she failed to even entertain the concept of miscommunication; it was our fault and that was that. She started to say had we not touched the food or told them immediately... but never actually finished the sentence, so it was unclear what she would've done and it came off like an empty gesture without actually making , you know, a gesture. Tired, hungry, and impatient of the manager's combative attitude, we told her we understood where the confusion occurred even if she didn't and why our meal didn't meet expectations; we sent her away. That should have been the end of it, but then we could hear her complaining about us to her employees from across the dining room saying, "When sh*t like that happens..." etc.

We will not be going back and you should find somewhere else to...

My mother took all of us kids (7) there when we were young. Cheap and delicious fried clams! We moved to GA in the late 60’s, but I always remembered this place. I go back to MA every year or so to visit family. For about 35 years, my mum and other siblings keep saying “You gotta go to Woodman’s” or “ Go to the Lobster Pool” for the best fried clams. One day I decided I wanted to revisit the fried clam Nirvana of my childhood and went to Farnham’s. I knew exactly how to get there even though I had never driven there in my life. This drive was also before GPS and smart phones. I bought 2 boxes of clams, one for me, one for my mum. The drive back to my mum’s house was 45 minutes. I’m not ashamed to say that I only saved her a half a box of clams. Needless to say, I found them to be the most delicious fried clams on Cape Ann, but it was a mystery to me as why. Another decade goes by eating fried clams at Farnham’s, sharing this jewel of a restaurant with my sons and granddaughter over the years. Last summer, I brought my son, his girlfriend, and my granddaughter there to meet up with friends of my son’s girlfriend. It was questionable whether we would find legal parking, which is a gold mine for the local PD, and my crew wanted to give up. Fortunately, the friends had parked and we found parking shortly thereafter. After about a 30 min wait (it was Saturday night) we ordered our meal. It came out quickly and as ordered. Everything was perfect and delicious! I was telling my son’s, girlfriend’s, friend about my Farnham’s history. He was from New England also, and had visited many clam shacks in the area including Woodman’s. Which he thought was the go to place for fried clams in Essex. He conceded that Farnham’s was best because of the “quality of the fry.” I thought this was a perfect answer for the question that always eluded me. I’m sure they have a secret in the batter, but the quality of the fry is unparalleled! Bonus! I ran into my cousin that night that I hadn’t seen in...

Typical Massachusetts seafood restaurant on marshland with a view of the Crane estate. It's got outdoor and indoor seating. Though be aware that indoor seating is cramped and outdoor seating is grubby and infested with tiny biting flies. It wasn't enjoyable sitting in full sun and being attacked by insects while trying to eat a $40 lobster.

The ordering system is really strange and there is very little flow. You walk in and stand in a narrow area and have to walk back down between the folks in line when you've placed your order. There is an outdoor pickup window to grab your tray from when your order is called.

I'm going to be honest, for the price, the food was just okay. I can wait for market price to drop later in the summer, and I can make a better boiled lobster, with steamers, corn, and a thick chowder, and enjoy it at my own house. My lobster was not freshly prepared and with no water and little loose white blood seen coming out while cracking, the meat was rubbery and unreasonably difficult to extract from smaller joints even for a New England native. The tamale was also a strange brown color and was watery, as if it had gone off while sitting around cooked all day. I couldn't eat the meat from the body because of it.

I was dissapointed that eating outside in the biting fly infestation was really this unpleasant. They also don't have steamer clams on the menu which is heartbreaking.

I think you really have to enjoy the company you've brought along for your visit. This is more about the MA summer experience that anything. It's hot, buggy, messy, greasy but it's also with friends. I'll probably try Woodman's up the...