Restaurante Alexandra — Restaurant in Guánica

We had no intention of dining at Restaurante Alexandra. In fact, we never would have chosen it had we been properly informed at check-in that the resort’s other, more casual restaurant was closed for the evening. By the time we realized it, options were limited—and we were hungry.

From the start, something felt off. The menu read more like a poorly conceived episode of a cooking competition show than a seaside dining experience. Bison? Wild boar? We were steps from the ocean, not the tundra. The dishes felt pretentious and oddly mismatched with the tropical setting, like someone had lost a bet and decided to design a “wilderness lodge” menu for a beach resort.

Still, we sat. We were there, after all. But even the table setting failed to inspire confidence—plastic plates at a restaurant that billed itself as fine dining? Not quirky. Not rustic. Just disappointing.

Scanning the menu, only one thing sounded remotely appealing: the soup of the day. We asked and the waiter said it was mushroom with truffle oil and a skirt steak–stuffed mushroom topped with melted truffle cheese. We voiced our concern about the truffle oil overwhelming the dish, and were assured: “Just two or three drops.” Reassured, we ordered.

What arrived was a pungent, heavy soup whose truffle oil presence could not be measured in drops but in puddles. I gave up counting after 27 glistening rings of oil floating on the surface like little shimmering warnings. Still, I made my way through it, spoonful by cautious spoonful, saving the mushroom topper for last. That turned out to be a mistake.

As I dipped my spoon beneath the mushroom, I unearthed something unexpected: a sweet bite that didn’t belong. I paused and mentioned it to my sister-in-law, who was also struggling through her bowl. She took a bite, grimaced, and made the call: teriyaki. Teriyaki on skirt steak. In a mushroom. In truffle soup.

It was a strange and deeply unpleasant culinary nesting doll. The skirt steak itself was unlike any we’d ever encountered—rubbery, overly seasoned, and suspiciously chewy. We can’t prove it, but we’re fairly convinced it was some form of teriyaki-flavored beef jerky.

In the end, we left the table with full bellies but only from laughter, not satisfaction. Restaurante Alexandra served us an experience we’ll remember—but not for the...

The food was great, and I especially enjoyed the short ribs and the filet minion. Their pastry’s are very impressive and very cool to look at. You can order drinks from the bar, and desserts from the other restaurant, because they are connected, but it shares the same shortfalls as Las Palmas. The food takes extremely long to get to you, and many meals will be 2+ hours long. The waiters though are very good and...

The bread was amazing! The butter had a hint of bacon. After that the mishaps started. The shrimp soup had no shrimps only a few potatoes. The filet mignon was well prepared and the sides were good. The halibut wasn't halibut it was cod. The food smelled too fishy. It was actually cod. It was served cold. The service was OK. Being the only restaurant in the resort, I was...