Germaine's Luau — Restaurant in Hawaii

First of all I have no idea where these faux reviews are coming from this is not any Luau that we will ever be coming back too no matter if it is cost effective it is a waste of anyone’s money. Sorry to say, and some of the staff were nice yes, and the pictures that they take and charge you for are so mediocre no beautiful background and no direction at all the atmosphere and how the area looks from the beginning is questionable no one even tries to maintain the area whatsoever we were here several years ago and it is the same type of unkept grounds and old props with a low rated scenery UPGRADE PLEASE, if you are offering drink tickets then at least put the ice FILLED drink in a little bit bigger cup and why is there a $15 charge for a PINA COLADA I mean they charged for a splash of sweetener for a virgin shirley temple that’s nuts, and what happened to getting maybe a tiki cup or some kind of cultural gift for VIP I find it odd that so many people are excited for some drawn on flowers like it is carnival and to watch people from young to old and they cannot walk in this uneven sand with trays of food or ice filled tiny cups to and from there table most people I seen spilled drinks before they could even taste them, Looks like there’s enough staff there for small drink service for paying customers oh yeah I forgot, they have a do it your self service area for you to go get your own drinks….. aside from that the stale announcements that sound straight out of a “airport announcer” needs some better commentary and fresh ideas and the songs with all the added words from a tape recorded band needs some originality the entire show is low rated and so fast it offers no cultural intellect. With cats roaming the grounds freely around the dining area and food service area I cannot believe that they have not had a bad grade for food handling the food was not good from the buns to the pork dry, dry and oh wait potato macaroni salad was very runny we liked the little cake. The environment needs a redo from the outside theme to the costumes. No matter if Lilo and Stitch was filmed there which was a good little movie this Luau was definitely not worth the time I think maybe less than 25% of the tables were filled and the people were bored had to be amped up just to clap for performances good luck to the staff you all should find work elsewhere because your talents are being wasted! Sorry so harsh but I cannot believe what or who the ratings are coming from sound...

Location: 45 mins from Waikiki - remote in an industrial area. Kinda weird driving up to it. The actual property is ocean-front but there is no access to the water. You will see the sunset on the far right though - not from the tables but you can walk over to the end of the property and look out. (The panaromic shot below I took leaning over the side of the property edge) Buses are available from Waikiki but we opted to drive. Super casual atmosphere and experience, no need dress up!

Service: Super friendly from go to woe.

Show: great show, we really enjoyed it. Entertainment wa provided from start to finish. 3-3.5hrs. Full polynesian experience complete with the fire dancers as promised. Just like in movies or TV shows participation was invited for lessons on stage etc.

Food: this is the hard part of the review for us - two of us went and we both had upset stomachs within hours of eating, me within an hour of eating but we were both up and down all night as a result. My husband has somewhat of a cast-iron stomach so that was surprising. As for the menu, proteins included fish, pig, chicken and teriyaki beef, then pineapple coleslaw, potato macaroni salad, chicken long rice, salad, white rice, rolls, vanilla and chocolate cake and an island dessert (going from memory here so I may have omitted something). All fairly generic so not sure what made us sick other than knowing it cannot have been the fish or beef as we didnt both eat either. What we did eat we enjoyed though- as I mentioned previously this was the hard part of the review for us.

Drinks: coctails and premium drinks were available at a cost or with a ticket depending on package selection. Paid $11 for a cup which they allow you to use there and it doubles the oz. served (would suggest asking for light ice) Blue Hawaiian drink shown in the purchased cup. Unlimited soda/tea/coffee.

Price: starting @ $88 usd for the show and buffet with 1 coctail or premium spirit drink. We ended up upgrading for $30 per person which gave two more drinks and a more central table but really I don't really think this was necessary, we just figured why not. $20 for a photo. Gift shop onsite as well. We felt overall the price was reasonable.

I would have given this 5 stars as far as an experience goes but spending an evening of vacation being sickly really detracted so I settled with a 3 when considering the...

I give a huge thanks to the family friends who allow us to go to this luau.

Right next to the beach, but you are not allowed to go and put your feet in the water. What? Lol. At paradise cove we were allowed to go to the water.

I've been to two luau's previously, and the Polynesian culture center Ha Breath of Fire.

This luau was okay. . . No shame to the dancers, or the band, but the sound and lightdesign sucked.

The show felt like it centered around a 40 year old woman who spoke with a perfect radio voice. When she would speak the music would still be going making it difficult to understand her.

The perfect radio voice in my opinion made it sound patronizing and dated.

The show itself was very tame, and lacked any real climax.

The only person that I would say saved it would be Cousin Riht Mone, great stage work, and honestly he SHOULD be the host. He hyped everyone up, and really brought the show to life.

The show also felt like it lacked Polynesian life, and felt more like a community college performance.

The show had strange gaps, and felt lifeless. When the 'climax' of part of the show would happen they would strobe a light, and that was just painful. Part of Tunisian dancing is that they move there hips SUPEP fast, and I felt like they strobed the lights to make it seem faster then it was.

Before the fire dancing they ran out a very generic bit about safety, and what not to do, and to stay seated. . .

I have never had that done, I understand that it's for there liability, but it killed the buzz for me.

At other luau's that I have been to there were games, or things to do before the show, such as bamboo leaves weaving, lai making, etc.

I GIVE THEM 5 STARS though for having a open fountain drink area, as someone that doesn't drink alcohol, that was super comforting.

If they change the show, and add more games / activities to the beginning of the event, I feel like they could really beat out the competition.

Teach Rite Mone to fire dance and make him host the show, and I think you are halfway there to a...