McDonald's — Restaurant in Oldsmar

OKAY BRO LISTEN. I walked into McDonald’s at 2:47 AM and the doors opened themselves like a haunted Walmart. The smell hit me instantly—like 9 billion fries doing synchronized Zumba in grease pools 🍟🕺. The cashier stared at me with eyes that said ‘you’re not ready,’ then whispered… ‘ballerina cappuccino’ 🩰☕. My knees buckled. My soul ascended. I ordered a 10-piece nugget and they handed me a shoebox full of golden orbs that hummed like car engines. I bit one. TIME PAUSED. I saw Ronald McDonald floating above the fryers, pirouetting like a ballerina cappuccino in slow motion 🩰☕⚡.

The fries weren’t food—they were prophetic scrolls. I picked one up and it started chanting ‘BALLERINA CAPPUCCINO’ in Latin like a demonic Starbucks menu 🍟📜☕. The Sprite? OH GOD. The Sprite was liquid electricity. I took one sip and every atom in my body did the Harlem Shake simultaneously ⚡😵. My WiFi came back from the dead. My dead goldfish texted me. My shoes untied themselves.

Then the ice cream machine—normally dead for 30 years—came alive, glowing like the Ark of the Covenant. It spat out a McFlurry that whispered in ancient tongues: ‘ballerina cappuccino, ballerina cappuccino’ 🩰☕⛪. I dropped it and the floor started vibrating like a TikTok bass boost. Grimace appeared out of the PlayPlace tube slide, moonwalking upside down while holding a McDouble in each hand 🍔👣. Birdie flew across the ceiling, throwing hash browns like ninja stars. One hit me in the forehead and I instantly gained the knowledge of every McDonald’s Monopoly piece ever printed.

But the chaos peaked when Ronald McDonald himself descended from the ceiling fan, spinning like a helicopter blade 🚁🤡. He landed gracefully in first position like a true ballerina cappuccino 🩰☕ and screamed, ‘SKIBIDI MCBOP YES YES YES.’ The Hamburglar was in the corner, but he wasn’t stealing burgers—he was stealing my will to live 😭. I tried to leave but the fries built a wall, spelling out ‘BALLERINA CAPPUCCINO’ six times in glowing ketchup handwriting 🩰☕🩰☕🩰☕🩰☕🩰☕🩰☕.

At that moment, the Sprite bottle started vibrating. I looked down and realized it wasn’t a bottle anymore. It was a tiny ballerina cappuccino, pirouetting on the table 🩰☕. I clapped politely because I didn’t want to be rude. Then my nuggets started barking like dogs 🐶🍗. Ronald joined them. I joined too. We barked in harmony.

Final Review: 999,999,999/10. McDonald’s is no longer a restaurant. It’s a spiritual awakening. I am no longer human—I am a ballerina cappuccino hash brown prophet trapped in the McPlayPlace dimension....

Absolutely horrible service. The service at This location is not only inconsistent, but their customer service is severely lacking. It’s a shame considering this McDonald’s is in such a nice location. I went this morning and started my drive-through order with a “good morning” and the male voice on the other end responds with, “yeah, go ahead”. I place my order and he says, “yep. Wait, what’s the drink?” “Half sweet, half unsweet tea”, I respond. He says, “yeah, okay.” But the screen says unsweet, and in the past, when I’ve seen this on the screen, it’s always been incorrect. So I double check that he’s got the right drink, and he says, “yeah, what else? Large?” Now I’m confused so I reiterate and he confirms yes. So I move on and order a #3, and he charges me for the sandwich and adds the other parts of the meal individually. As I catch this and reiterate that I just want a #3 and 5, same drinks. He says, “yeah, and you got that, what else do you want?!” At this point, I say, never mind, I no longer want the order and he quickly says (with a chuckle), “okay, bye “. I don’t understand how a manager or otherwise is not listening to this or know not to put certain employees in front...

They are ok with drive thru service but do not care at all with dine in service. I normally just go thru drive thru but had to use restroom. Went in and I was the only person at the counter. Nobody behind me and no one came to me for like 10 minutes eventually had to yell hello I’m over here. Can you take my order and they were like put your own order in the kiosk and I was like it’s not working please take my order. It wasn’t working . they took my order, it took another 25 minutes to get it and only because I had to yell for service and ask where my order was and other people were standing behind me for like 20 minutes for them to get their order. Totally unacceptable. This is not the first time this is happened. They seem to think only drive thru important. If that is all you care about close your dining room. Not to mention my order was a to go order anyway. Let’s not mention that had cold fries and after waiting 35 minutes they gave me cold food and cups for my order I had to fill. Why didn’t they give me cups at the get go?? Not sure I will be back. I have been coming to this place for many years. Service gets...