Taco Bell — Restaurant in Orrville

I have only been once, but here is the saga of that time It was nine o’clock on a saturday. Me and my crowd shuffled in. There was an old man to the right of me, making love to his baja blast and chips. He said son have you tried the brand new CHEESY GORDITA Crunch. Ignoring this blatant deceptive advertising, I slowly and purposely walked to the sleek, shining gray marble counter, there a young, brown haired lady with vibrant blue eyes and a small amount of freckles, walked to the counter and said the destined words “Hi welcome to Taco Bell, how may I take your order”. With this, I was overcome with vibrant emotion. The lengths, I have went through to get to this very point. The struggles I had to withstand. I almost started crying on the spot, not from sorrow, but from the pure amount of joy that I was experiencing. I managed to utter the words “I am still looking give me a second” which caused my stomach drop and cower in shame. I looked at the menu, foods of delicious, lustrous, goodness filled my eyes. I was overwhelmed I did not know what to order. I became overcome with confusion and struggle but then, it caught my eyes, like a light from heaven was shining down upon it. The cheesy gordita crunch, under the label, it read brand new. Like being engulfed by a tsunami of emotion, I was brutally smacked with such overwhelming lust and hunger that only an illustrious, crunchy, cheesey, tortilla could satisfy. At that moment I knew, what the lord has put me on the earth to do. It was my destiny to get the cheezy gordida crunch. I looked back at that woman, feeling of power that surged through my body. I swiftly and confidently said “I shall have two Cheesy Gordida Crunches with a large fountain drink ma’am.” She said “That will be $11.49” I handed her my card, and she handed me the cup. Its size astonished me, I could not contain my joy and a smile stretched across my face. I strolled over to the machine swiftly. The majesty of it fills me with bewilderment, but I knew what I must get. I put my cup on the grate, and in a moment of truth, I pressed the button. All of a sudden the lushious, light green elixir flowed from the machine, into my cup. I was in awe or maybe shock by this, it was more than I ever hoped for, more than my wildest dreams. I stood there gazing at it for a few seconds before they said my order was done. I walked to the counter, the bag decorated with foreign symbols, a bell with vibrant green flowing around it, its meaning, I do not know, and I am not sure if anyone knows, for I fear that information has been lost to the ages. I took the bag, I thought I was ready for whatever it contained for me. I waltzed over to a booth, the soft comforting chairs greeted me like a loving mothers arms. I placed the bag on the table, “I am ready”, but I was not. When I opened the bag a smell filled my nostrils, it was better than my wildest dreams, my nose felt like it had just done a somersault, and it was jumping with joy. I looked at the wrapping, not sure if I was supposed to eat it or not, after what felt like decades of argous debate happening inside me, I finally decided to take it off. The sight that greeted my eyes could only be described as a holy one, one fit for the gods, but here I was, a feeble human and my eyes were resting upon the taco. Power surged through me, I picked up the Cheezy Gordida Crunch, I was trembling with angst, my teeth were chattering, and slowly, I opened my mouth and took my first bite. The savory flavor filled my mouth, and a sudden feeling of enlightenment filled, every single bone in my body. With that first bite I became enlightened with the world, everything became clear and apparent to me, questions like “Why are we here”, “What is my purpose in life”, “Is there a god”, all seemed to be apparent to me, even childish. I felt like I had transcended such feeble things, everything had meaning now, I finally understood, after that I swiftly ate the rest of my food. I left that place, for it was the dominion of god. That is the story of my first time...

I was having an okay night and then I pulled up to Taco Bell and ordered simply a $1 spicy potato soft taco and nothing else because I’m ✨✨balling on a budget✨✨ . I handed a very serious man a one dollar bill and in return received THE GREATEST SOFT TACO I’VE EVER EATEN. My expectation was set on a terribly mid $1 hunk of laxatives because let’s be honest, that’s all we really want from t-bell. What I received however, was a thickly loaded wax paper. This is not necessarily a good sign because often it means there will be an improper ratio of potato to sauce (and a dry soft taco is 👎) instead, when I unwrapped it, cheese immediately began falling out. While there was an absurd amount potato inside the loosely wrapped tortilla, there was so much sauce that it didn’t taste dry. Additionally, something I had never considered was that with enough cheese, the taco could hold together so much that sauce would not fall down onto my hands while I ate it. This never occurred to me because it never occurred to me that there was cheese on this particular item because there is always such a minuscule amount. But tonight there was the perfect amount of cheese to keep all the sauce contained and there was enough sauce to match the wonderfully generous number of potato pieces that the taco received. This all sounds over exaggerated, but I assure you, it was the epitome of perfection in terms of a $1 Taco Bell product. In the prophetic book of Revelation, the author describes trees in the new heaven that bloom during different months, each with different fruits on them. I don’t think it would be to much of a theological stretch to say there could be a spicy potato soft taco tree, and if there is, each fruit on it will most certainly taste identical to the one I have just consumed. I don’t know who was on staff tonight, specifically making the food, but they...

Based on my experience today I can only surmise that Taco Bell has located a man with one leg, one arm, and one eye, who has recently had a surgical procedure to remove half his brain. It is the only explanation as to why it takes ten minutes per customer in line. So I assume Terry was trying his absolute hardest with those shortcomings. That is what I thought at least, until I saw that there were two or more employees working tonight. But that can't be. If there were two employees even if they were one armed, one legged, one eyed, and half brained surely they could still produce food at a faster rate than these two were. Which is when it struck me. These were two people that were either spectacularly terrible at their jobs or just didn't care at all. Which is what led me to this one...