Sir John Barrow Monument — Attraction in Ulverston

“A Spiralling Disappointment: Dining Not Included” By someone who really just wanted lunch ps (I am definitely not Jay Rayner and have never met him)

You approach the Sir John Barrow Monument with hope. It stands atop Hoad Hill like a victorious breadstick, promising grandeur, perhaps a hidden bistro tucked inside, or at least a kiosk flinging out mediocre pasties. I came hungry—literally and metaphorically. What I found was a 100-foot stone tower and a brutal lesson in unmet expectations.

Let’s be clear: I have nothing against monuments. Some of my best afternoons have been spent leaning against Victorian masonry, gnawing on overpriced focaccia. But when you name something like this—“Sir John Barrow Monument”—and plonk it in full view of a town like Ulverston, which knows a thing or two about charm, I reasonably expect a surprise deli inside. Or a tearoom. Or, God forbid, anything edible.

Instead, I was met with an enthusiastic but volunteer-led structure that exists solely to honour a 19th-century naval man who, let’s face it, did a lot more exploring than catering. The view is magnificent, I’ll grant you that. Rolling hills, Morecambe Bay shimmering in the distance, and sheep gazing at me like they knew I was duped. It’s beautiful. It’s just not lunch.

There is a staircase. A long, coiling, mildly claustrophobic stone staircase. I climbed it with the grim determination of a man who believed there might be a wine bar at the top. There wasn’t. No cheese board. No menu. Not even a vending machine with sun-warped KitKats and ambiguous jerky.

By the time I descended, I was ravenous, bordering on feral. I asked a local lad if there was a café nearby. He pointed toward town and said, “Greggs is open.” Reader, I wept.

In summary: the Sir John Barrow Monument is a lovely slice of Lakeland history, worth a visit if you enjoy architecture, scenic vistas, and being aggressively reminded that not everything needs to come with a side of fries. But if you're a hungry man in search of lunch masquerading as culture—turn back, or bring a sandwich.

2 stars. Bring...

Sir John Barrow. Born in 1764, Ulverston. Died in 1848, London. Geographer. He was exceptionally mathematically skilled. He spoke Mandarin Chinese. As a civil servant, he improved a few maritime navigations methods. Sir J. Barrow was a member of Fellowship of the Royal Society, a member of the Royal Geographical Society and he was a member of the Society of Antiquaries of London. He was a co-founder of the Fort Park in Ulverston. In 1850, on the top of Hoad Hill (430 ft a.s.l.) near Ulverston, the Sir John Barrow's Monument cornerstone was led. The Monument resembles a lighthouse. The height of the monument is 100 ft. The lantern chamber is placed at a total height of 530 ft a.s.l and illuminated by late evening in blue. In July 2020, I had a relaxing walk on Hoad Hill. It was a bit windy in the afternoon, but I...

Nice for a visit this, best to go on a day with good weather so you can see the view. You can park in a small car park within Ford Park, it's donation only but always worth chucking a few quid in to help. Once parked just head though the gate and past the house on the right, keep going past the Base care on the left and the pack is just a little further along. Various different routes you can choose to go up and down. Took us 20 minutes to get up, we took different routes just to mix it up, plenty of places to sit and enjoy the view on the way up. Once at the top, great views all round. The monument itself is only open on certain bank holidays and Sundays at specific times. Best checking before hand if you want...