Ockenden Manor Hotel & Spa — Hotel in Mid Sussex

Sometimes in life the stars align. Not often. Usually, they scatter chaotically in the night sky, like crumbs on a Travelodge carpet, marking the celestial randomness of broken kettles and joyless buffet sausages. But every so often, bang — alignment. Precision. Harmony. A moment of such elegant serendipity that you half expect Richard Curtis to lurch out from behind a hedge and weep. Our stay at Ockenden Manor was one of these moments.

It’s hard to imagine a hotel that embodies Britain quite so well: a half-timbered Tudor manor at the front, as reassuringly solid and oak-panelled as a National Trust gift shop; and then — boom — this gloriously sleek, Scandi-chic spa complex out the back that looks like it’s been beamed in from Copenhagen via Goop. And somehow, somehow, it works. It shouldn’t. By rights, it should feel like sleeping in two different centuries at once — like dozing off to a lute recital and waking up in a flotation tank — but it doesn’t. It feels right.

My room was a hymn to contradiction. Four-poster bed so tall you’d need a Sherpa to climb in, creaking with stories of Elizabethan romps, but then a bathroom so sublimely modern you’d think NASA designed the taps. Nespresso machine purring in one corner, with homemade cookies laid out beside it — still warm, still smelling like your mother’s kitchen, if your mother happened to be a Cordon Bleu graduate. It was a beautiful sort of oxymoron: medieval comfort meets millennial convenience.

And then the service. Good Lord, the service. Not the robotic, over-rehearsed drivel you get at certain five-stars that shall remain nameless (cough anywhere with a rooftop DJ and a “vibe manager”). No, this was proper, old-fashioned attentiveness with a touch of Sussex charm. From the GM, who had the sort of calm, genial authority you imagine could defuse a bar fight with just a raised eyebrow, to the receptionists who smiled like they meant it, to the waitress who remembered how I took my coffee after one cup. That’s not hospitality — that’s wizardry.

And then came the garden party. This was the clincher. The cosmic flourish. We happened to stay on the very evening they were throwing their summer knees-up on the lawn — a scene so quintessentially English it should be playing in slow motion over an Elgar soundtrack. Garden lanterns, the scent of roses, and trays of canapés that could make a grown man cry. And the fizz — oh, the fizz — Ridgeview, no less. Not the usual glass of vaguely carbonated cat’s urine you get at these things, but real, vintage, golden nectar. You could feel the Sussex soil in it. You could taste the sunshine. It sparkled like joy itself.

This was the sort of evening where time slows down. Where the setting sun dapples the grass, the hum of conversation floats like music, and you find yourself thinking — yes, this. This is the dream. This is the point of it all. To be here, now, with a flute of the good stuff and the sweet susurrus of well-heeled laughter drifting across the croquet lawn.

Ockenden Manor is not flashy. It’s not shouting for attention with infinity pools and rooftop Instagram traps. It doesn’t need to. It just quietly gets everything right. It’s the sort of place that understands the British soul — that curious craving we have for both log fires and Wi-Fi, feather duvets and monsoon showers, village cricket and hydrotherapy pools. It’s a love letter to old England, written with a Montblanc on sustainably sourced artisan paper.

If you’re looking for something showy, look elsewhere. If you’re after TikTokable nonsense or poolside selfies, try Dubai. But if you want the sort of timeless English escape where your shoulders drop an inch every hour and your heart gets lighter with every bite of warm cookie, come here. Come to Ockenden.

Sometimes in life, the stars align. And when they do, they look a hell of a lot like the twinkling lights over a summer garden party in...

A lovely hotel but lacking the personal touch and attention to justify the price. I have stayed here before, a few years ago and it was wonderful. This time I just felt a bit meh..

I booked a weekend here for a surprise for my wife's 40th Birthday, I booked a Junior Spa suite at £689 for 1 night including dinner bed and breakfast and 2 x £25 towards treatments in the spa.

We also booked a private dining room for some guests to join us for dinner.

We arrived about 1pm but our room was not available until 3pm so made use of the spa which is lovely. The spa suites are separate from the hotel and is a short walk between the two buildings. Once our room was ready we headed up showered and relaxed on the lovely quirky private garden shared by the spa suite guests. The room has tea and a coffee machine but no decaf pods so I popped down to ask for some decaf coffee pods from reception. They were promised to be sent up but didn't ever arrive. A few hours later we used our towels again getting ready for dinner, so thinking forward to the morning we phoned down asking for some new towels. We were asked if we could wait until the turn down service which was fine for us. We went for Dinner, I had told the staff that it was a surprise for my wife's 40th on booking, unfortunately the maitre d' handed the two of us all the menus for all of our guests and tried to explain the children's option before the surprise had been sprung. There was no malice there but again, no personal service, no one had apparently noted our event. We were seated in the bar to wait but it was not permanently manned and there is no music which makes it library-like quiet. Could really do with some background music. Dinner was very nice, lovely dishes throughout. We returned to our room about 9pm to find that the towels hadn't been changed and the turn down service not completed. A little investigation showed that on the wall outside (not the door as other hotels have) is a little plaque for do not disturb so we had been skipped, because it's not on the door it's easy not to notice it. Considering we had made the effort to request the service and we were dining 15 metres from reception it was disappointing no one had either A) left the towels for us or B) come to ask me if I still required them. Again, no personal touch. We phoned down and asked for them again but house keeping had gone home. We were told they would bring them in the morning.

On the Sunday we woke up at 7am and .. no towels! We showered and went for Breakfast at 8am. The restaurant was empty and no staff around. Eventually someone came and seated us. The breakfast was great and the fresh squeezed Orange was worth a trip solely for this! On returning to the spa it was pouring with rain, but umbrellas are available for the walk. My wife had a treatment booked at 10 finishing at 11, the same time as checkout. We asked if we could get a 30 minute extension on our room in the spa reception and was told to return to the main hotel (in the pouring rain) to enquire there! Again, no sense of helping the customer out or picking up the phone and sorting the problem. It was just returned to me to deal with. We decided we instead we would check out early and load the car up. At 0910 there was a knock on the room door, fresh towels arrived, at 0915 we left the towels unused on the bed and checked out handing our key in to the spa reception. Treatment; my wife had a 1hr massage which she described as the best massage she has ever had! We made use of the facilities for another 1hr and then left. The total bill for the 22 hours we had been on site was £1000 and I just had an overwhelming sense that we had not received the service that goes with this sort of price tag. So overall 5 star facilities, 1 star service = 3...

Not family friendly

Having enjoyed a fantastic family holiday at Bailiffscourt, part of the HS Hotels Group last year, we were all excited about our stay at Ockenden Manor at the end of August 2021. What a crushing disappointment. This hotel is great in many respects, but if you have children under 16 year of age and are going as a family- just don’t. This is not a family friendly hotel.

“We find that 90% of our guests come here to actually escape from their children. It’s more normal for them to leave them with the nanny or grandparents and then come here to enjoy themselves,” said the manager of Ockenden Manor on the first morning of our family holiday.

Quick synopsis of my letter to the owners- A highlight of the hotel is its pool and spa-but kids- anyone under 16 years of age- are, even under adult supervision, forbidden from using the jacuzzi and beyond the 1 hour morning and 1.5 hour pm slots-forbidden from being anywhere in the vicinity of the pool and spa. So even relaxing on a lounger in the grounds after the allotted kids’ time is not allowed- so if you want to spend family time together you need to leave the hotel.

Ditto the rest of the facilities. Unlike it’s sister hotel there is no games room, no board games to borrow, no outdoor area to throw a ball- really nowhere and nothing for them to do in the hotel and its grounds except be in your designated bedroom.

Again a reason to choose this hotel is it’s reputation for great food. But we discovered on the first night that there is no kids menu, and only on asking were we given two options - of burger or sausages- limiting for more than a two night stay accompanied by a rather snotty look when we dared to ask the price of these items. When we questioned this the manager suggested we dine outside the hotel. So again if you want to spend time together eating as a family- leave the hotel.

(If you can be bothered please read longer email below where I also detail how it was not clear that kids dinner wan’t included in our package.. painful discussion with management over kids eating habits etc)

In terms of sleeping arrangements my daughter, very uncomplaining, did admit on the final night that she wasn’t sleeping well. I hadn’t realised that all this time she had been trying to sleep on a slightly deflated single Bestway blow-up mattress that even Argos describes as perfect to use as a touch of luxury on a camping trip! My girl was a guest in this hotel and put up in an uncomfortable bed cheaper than 90% of the wine menu.

Loads of people seem to complain about Ockenden being a bit tired, old, dirty etc, We thought that it was a beautiful, authentic building from the Elizabethan period and had no complaints about that. What I think is unfair is to accept booking for a family holiday when you are not family friendly. Mu children, so excited about this holiday, felt incredibly unwelcome.

To be fair to Ockenden I think that if you are a couple or a a group of older friends then this could be a really lovely place to stay. The hotel decor, the snug bar, the food was delicious, the young waiting staff were delightful as was the handyman who came to fix our TV. I just think that the owners need to decide on the bigger question of whether to make this an adults only hotel. They could then simply direct families to a great alternative - their very own Bailiffscourt run by the charming Chris.

Rather disappointingly I did send this information -what I feel is constructive and reasonable feedback- in an email to the owners a week ago but they have decided...