Holiday Inn Express & Suites Springville-South Provo Area by IHG — Hotel in Springville

I’m a little hesitant to tell this story--mostly because it involves me in my underwear. And now you’re picturing that, so… sorry. (My wife tells me that this is anxiety, but she is not a psychologist, so she probably doesn’t have the right to diagnose me.)

Before I get into it, you should know four things about me:

One: I hate surprises. All of them. Bad ones, good ones, even Christmas presents. As a kid, I used to carefully unwrap my gifts, peek inside, and re-wrap them. As an adult, I pester my wife until she tells me what she got me. As Jane Austen wrote, “Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable.” (Is this anxiety? I don’t know.)

Two: I wake up furious and confused-- like I’m under attack. Every single time. My brain always takes a second to go: “OK, you're not dead. Let’s figure out where you are.” It’s exhausting, but ok— this is probably anxiety.

Three: Many of you already know I’m an elementary school principal, but this matters for this story.

Four: I recently had a 1-star stay in the Holiday Inn Express in Springville, and this is the story for this review:

Last month, I took a group of teachers to a conference up north. We were staying at the Holiday Inn Express in Springville.

When we arrived, I saw another school from my city checking in. I said a polite hello to their principal, Mrs. E., after she checked in. They gave me my key—Room 4001—and I headed upstairs, ready to crash with some Food Network and lots of pillows to myself.

I open the door to my room... and there’s a black t-shirt lying on the bed. It says “#1 Principal.” And for one weird second, I thought, “Wow, the Holiday Inn Express in Springville knows me so well. But I didn’t know that Holiday Inn Expresses gave gifts…” But before I could finish that thought, it clicked: that shirt wasn’t for me. The front desk at the Holiday Inn Express in Springville had accidentally put me in Mrs. E.’s room. The actual #1 Principal. I turned and ran out of there, because if I bumped into her in that room, I’d have to quit my job, change my name, and leave the state.

Back at the front desk, the clerk was horrified: “I never do this! I’m so sorry!” She gave me a new room—4067—still on the fourth floor, just the opposite end. So I unpacked, put on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, and went to sleep.

Until… 11:50 p.m.

I’m dead asleep, and suddenly I hear people in my hotel room. Now remember, I wake up like I’m being murdered. So I spring up, chase these people out of my room, and I’m yelling, “Why the hell are you in my room?!”

We get to the hallway and the dad turns around and says, “I’m so sorry… they assigned us this room.” And now I’m just standing there—furious, confused, in my underwear IN THE HALLWAY OF THE HOLIDAY INN EXPRESS SPRINGVILLE—with a whole family I just screamed at. The Holiday Inn Express had double-booked my room. Again. On the same night. And I don’t have my key to the room.

So, I got to ride the elevator down to the front desk at midnight… in my underwear… with a family I just emotionally traumatized… to get yet another room key.

And that’s why I left this one-star review of the Holiday Inn Express in...

We had so many conflicting experiences with this hotel... We stayed here about 6 years ago and it was great. This time, mostly disappointing.||We stayed here for a week - this time not for a wedding, but for a funeral. Check-in was fine and the room seemed good... until we raised the toilet lid and discovered that it had not been cleaned and in fact, was coated with what looked like the previous guest's diarrhea. We were exhausted from our drive, so didn't ask for it to be cleaned until the following morning (I know... gross). When I went to ask the front desk to have housekeeping clean it, the front desk person said "I don't clean toilets"... as if I was asking HER to go up and clean the toilet. I responded "ummm you look like a front desk person... maybe ask housekeeping to clean it??" Also that morning, our room started to smell like diesel exhaust. The source was some dude outside (we were on the 2nd floor) our window, letting his huge, backed in truck idle for at least 30 minutes, while the exhaust was pointed at the building. We were leaving at that point and hoped that the room would air out by the time we returned (which it did). While the guy's truck was idling, I noticed the hotel manager standing there for about 15 minutes, chatting with the guy (this fact will come up later). When we returned that evening the toilet had been scrubbed thoroughly, thank goodness.||||Next morning, once again, the room filled up with diesel exhaust from the truck parked below our window. My husband decided to go talk to the front desk about it. He talked to the manager, who basically treated him like he was delusional... that there is no truck idling below our window. When we left, I pointed out the manager and asked my husband if that was the person he had talked to about the truck, to which my husband replied "yes". I then told him "that guy was talking (standing next the the truck while it idled) to the truck owner yesterday for at least 15 minutes... he knows that the truck was sitting there, pouring exhaust towards the building". So basically, the manager lied to my husband.||||The hotel wasn't automatically sending housekeeping in to clean stay-over rooms, citing Covid as their reason. (you could get your room cleaned if you asked). I understand this, but if you're going to cite Covid to not do something that you normally do, maybe ask your staff to wear masks? During the entire week we were there, we saw only one staff member wearing a mask.||||Now for the good stuff: the breakfast staff was great. Very friendly and diligent to keep the area clean and stocked. The lobby was kept clean (even with some snow being tracked in) and tidy at all times. The hotel is very conveniently located by the I-15 and yes, the state liquor store. I had misplaced a necklace and thought that maybe I had left it in the room. When my husband called to ask if someone could go look for it, the front desk person was very helpful and kind, going up to the room to personally look for it. ||||All in all, I probably won't stay here again. A clean toilet is essential... I mean does housekeeping even look in the toilet before they sign off on the room...

I always stay at this hotel when I visit my home office, and I always will. The location is perfect for me, and the rooms and general amenities are just fantastic for the money.

The rooms are neat and clean, meeting very high standards for the price (even the shower heads in the bathroom are luxurious with fast-warming hot water and great pressure). The towels are soft and new, and even the soap is nicely shaped to be comfortable to use.

The beds are very comfortable to sleep on (shallowly pliant and accommodating, but with a firm, stable center and structure). You have your choice of firm or soft pillows which is nice. I always get a great, easy night's sleep there, without question (unless life prevents me).

WiFi is free (at least, as an IHG rewards member it is, but that membership is also free). The internet is...decent (not terrible, but I think they should do better), though I hate the secondary login page they make you go through, as a rule, because it prevents automatic re-connection when you do something as daring as take the elevator from your room to the lobby. Also, VPNs are blocked, which I find both frustrating and limiting in my ability to work from my room.

Service staff have always been kind and accommodating to me, which I appreciate.

The (hot) food, however, is just flat out terrible. It's like... I'd rather go across the street and PAY at Denny's, which makes me feel sad and empty for wasting money on unenjoyable but at least somewhat interesting food... but that's how bad the breakfasts are at this hotel. It's really perplexing, honestly, and incongruent, because the rooms are so high class, but then you go downstairs, and you're served hot options that aspire to reach the quality of a truck stop AM/PM. By that, I mean that the "omelettes" are bland, flavorless blobs that may or may not contain a half-slice of imitation processed cheese product, or half a canned mushroom. The sausages, both turkey and pork, taste more like shoe leather that's been delicately marinated in formaldehyde (I swear I'm not exaggerating here, that was my actual thought when I bit one.. .then the other).

The "pancake" machine (which seems to be universal at HIE's) produces really great Frisbees that your dog may or may not enjoy for hours on end. I don't think they're fit for human consumption, though, but I keep wanting to believe, because I'm a mechanical engineer and I like the concept of that gadget (press button, receive frisbee).

So... yeah. The fruit's great. Nice Chobani yogurts and cereals there, too. Just... don't plan on eating much of the hot food. It's not worth it. Maybe if you're in a hurry and need sustenance, you can git 'er done with fruits, cereal, yogurt and toast. Just... you know... maybe stay away from the...