First Stop: Monterey

⚠️ SMELL-SECURITY TIPS Don’t rub eyes after touching rail—guano + salt = instant pink-eye. Wind normally blows off the water, so stand up-wind (north side) for fresher sniff. If you’re prone to gag, dab Vicks or peppermint oil under mask—surfer trick. They can charge if you block their ramp; give 6 ft, use zoom, not selfie-stick invasion. 🍴 FUEL / WASH-UP Alvarado Fish House – cioppino bread-bowl 2 blocks away; kills nasal funk with garlic steam-hammer. Lalla Grill – local craft beer + sweet-potato fries, outdoor patio dog-friendly. Public restroom = west end of parking lot; usually clean, sometimes line—go before you waddle back to car. 🐋 UPGRADE TOURS (if you want whales too) Monterey Bay Whale Watch – 3 hr trip, Nov-April humpback central, Sept-Oct orca possibles. Sea-lions ride bow wave = bonus. Elkhorn Slough Kayak – 1,000 sea otters + sea-lion bachelor gang; quiet paddle = no diesel smell competing. 💰 COST AUDIT (per person) Parking: $0 (90 min free) or $2/hr after. Breakwater walk: FREE. SCUBA tank rental: $45 if you’re licensed. Whale trip: $65-85 with online coupon. Pastry + coffee: $8 = cheapest date you’ll ever have with 700-lb mammals. 📅 WHEN TO GO Sept-Dec = peak population + feeding chaos. Jan-Aug = fewer bodies, still photo-worthy, less nasal assault. Sunrise = golden whiskers; sunset = purple sky + pier lights. Both rule, pick your filter mood. ONE-SENTENCE TAKE-AWAY Stand on the San Carlos breakwater, let the funk wash over you, hit 10 fps burst as a 800-lb bull belches—congrats, you’ve just bottled raw Pacific attitude for your camera roll and your soul. #US #CA #Monterey