Is South America’s #1 Restaurant Worth It?

After a 3-day stop in Santiago post-Antarctica, I risked $200 and 3.5 hours at Borago – the "World’s 50 Best" darling. Here’s the tea. 📌 The Borago Bible 🔑 Booking Hacks 3-month advance rule: Dates vanish faster than Patagonian glaciers. Use a VPN to access their site from China. Cancel at your peril: No-shows get slapped with a $70/person fee. Set 17 alarms. 🚗 Getting There Uber or bust: Safe for solo females. From DoubleTree Hotel, it’s a 7-minute ride (2.3km). Post-11PM returns = chill. ⏰ Timing Secrets Locals eat dinner like vampires – late and lavish. Book 8PM but arrive at 7:30PM; they’ll seat you early. 14-course marathon: No rush – tables don’t flip. Prepare for a culinary Lord of the Rings trilogy. 🍽️ The Food: Edible Art or Salty Nightmare? Visual orgasm: Plating so artistic, you’ll debate licking the plate vs. framing it. Flavor shock: Salt levels = Dead Sea vibes. Chinese taste buds, brace yourselves! Ingredients lore: Foraged moss, volcanic salt, glacial algae – your server’s Spanglish explanations will leave you Googling “WTF is a nalca?” Top 3 WTF Moments: 1️⃣ Course 4: “Andes Rocks” – dehydrated llama meat on a lava slab. Tastes like hiking altitude sickness. 2️⃣ Course 7: “Pacific Tears” – sea urchin foam with liquid nitrogen lettuce. Insta-bait, minimal flavor. 3️⃣ Course 12: “Desert Honey” – candied cactus fruit. Sweet enough to resurrect a dead sweet tooth. 🍷 Wine Pairing: Yes or No? +$100 for 7 glasses: Chilean natural wines that taste like a science experiment. Fun for oenophiles, torture for lightweight. Pro tip: Ask for the 3-glass mini pairing – your liver will thank you. 💸 Damage Report 200−300 per person (exchange rates swing wildly – pray the CLP crashes) Mandatory 10-20% tip: Choose your guilt level. ⚠️ Survival Kit 1️⃣ Pre-game: Fast for 12 hours – portions are bonsai-sized. 2️⃣ Translation app: Unless you’re fluent in “Chilean food poetry.” 3️⃣ Post-meal detox: Order Shu Xiang hot pot delivery to reset your sodium levels. #SouthAmericasBestOrBust #EdibleArtGallery #ChileanMolecularGambit #RichPeopleDinnerClub #InstaVsPalateReality #BoragoSurvivalGuide #MistakenForAFoodCritic