Chicken On Charcoal — Restaurant in Melbourne

The Case of the Premonition Potato!

I came hungry, I left… suspiciously full of irony.

I asked for a large scallop potato. A 15-second transaction at most. Naturally, I turned to observe the sacred ritual: scooping it fresh from the hot tray. Except—plot twist—it was already packed and waiting like a psychic entrée.

I hadn’t even finished blinking and suddenly—a tub materialized in her hands, passed by the same man who was just slicing chicken. The tray? Still full. Untouched. The scallop potato? Suspiciously omniscient.

When I returned to question the miracle, I was told—by both staff— "I don’t know." That’s right: no one knew when the tub was prepared, who prepared it, or why it resembled a leftover from the Pyramids.

I asked the man—who handed over the tub—when it was packed. His reply?

“No I didn’t.” Ladies and gentlemen, the great chicken shop vanishing act. Even Houdini would be impressed.

Then came the manager— Who reassured me with the culinary classic:

“It’s fresh. It’s warm.” A heartfelt defense for a tub that was pre-scooped, unlabeled, unclaimed, and apparently unmade.

In my opinion? Cowards. Too afraid to say:

“Yeah, it’s old. We were hoping you wouldn’t notice.” Instead, they gaslighted my appetite with synchronized amnesia.

No transparency. No accountability. Just tongs, tubs, and truth dodged like it was on fire.

Final thoughts? If you like your food served with a side of mystery and your questions answered with shrugs and denial, this is the place for you.

But if you value honesty over heat lamps? Look elsewhere.

Because nothing was scalloped—except the...

I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve been here over the years, but it must be 50+ times over 12 - 15 years. It used to be (apparently) owned by an Albanian family that made their own secret herbs and spices and I would loudly and proudly tell anybody who would listen that it was the best chicken and chips in Melbourne. It can be a bit hit and miss and it all depends on who’s working. There’s 2 older guys (maybe Indian backgrounds?) who have been there for ever and they know exactly what they’re doing and run a tight ship. Front of house seems to be a revolving door of young and inexperienced girls who maybe aren’t up to the pressure when it’s busy. Today was one of those days, during lunch rush as the boys must’ve been on break or had the day off. When we eat this kind of stuff and make specific requests regarding crunchy chips and extra chicken salt, it matters. We don’t eat junk food that often, so when we do - we want it perfect. Chicken was cut into 6 or 8 pieces, not 4 as requested. Chips were not crunchy as requested. Only a little chicken salt on the top layer of chips. Not huge issues as the food was edible, but as I pointed out, we don’t eat junk food often so when we do eat it, we want it perfect. Today was an absolute waste of calories and the irritable girl with the spray tan didn’t help the cause. Worth checking out if the boys are in the shop, otherwise give it a miss....

I have seen greatness. I have witnessed a miracle. And it came in the form of a 16-year-old kid (who looks 12) flipping burgers like he was born for this.

I ordered my meal, and before I could even blink, this culinary wizard was already at work. Bun toasted. Chicken sizzling. Sauce spread with the precision of an artist. It was like watching a superhero in action—except instead of saving the world, he was serving up pure, mouthwatering bliss.

And THE TASTE? OH. MY. CHICKEN. Crispy, juicy, perfectly seasoned—so good I almost cried. The burger? Fluffy, saucy, crunchy, absolute perfection. I swear, I heard angels singing with every bite.

The service? ASTONISHING. This kid was faster than a Formula 1 pit stop and friendlier than your grandma on Christmas. I don’t know what kind of burger sorcery this was, but I’m hooked for life.

Final thoughts: If you haven’t eaten here, what are you doing? RUN. DON’T WALK. This kid is going places. Probably straight to fast-food royalty.

Final thoughts: If you ever get the chance to witness this short king of the kitchen in action, consider yourself blessed. He may be small, but his burger...