Loch & Key Restaurant — Restaurant in Victoria

We are really not having much luck with the places we go. 2 adults 2 children over $200 painfully expensive.

First of all please don’t ever presume when anyone walks into you premises that the children are with both a mother and “father” … I was there with an ex who is another skin tone and clearly not related to my boys…. My children were dressed as boys yet were called girls. We nervously laughed it off… we were told the kitchen didn’t open till 5 and sat for the 35 min before we could order. We were introduced to spider sodas (these were wonderful!) and given a bucket of chalk to fill our time. There are 3 spaces to sit.. out the front… inside and the court yard….The court yard is lovely.

I asked for a passion fruit and mint mojito which was unappealing. And promptly ordered an expresso martini which was to come out with the food … that never arrived. Nor did the ale that was ordered I popped up twice to ask for them.

When our food arrived it was well presented but portion size for value was just not there. The duck was the saddest meal I had the meat grey and lacklustre. I can’t even tell you what flavours were meant to come through. I have never left duck on my plate but I just couldn’t.

Every dish came on a bed of rocket and dry slaw… the 2 spring rolls for $16 … so disappointing. The lamb ribs were salted beyond words… i ended up trying to brake the salt levels with the dry slaw. The poppers were so salty my kiddos refused to eat them. We ate what we were given as we don’t believe in waste and throwing away a meal. But you will find the pork tossed in the bushes it was so dry I said to my ex not to waste his teeth on it. He had the stake sandwich to which he too said it was nothing special.

The owner came out and wanted to know how it went I was so hesitant in telling her, I was uncomfortable she was highly strung and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings as I can see she tries hard to welcome all. Bellow was what came back at us after I very reluctantly brought up the state of the meals.

“I’m burnt out 2 years straight” “The server is 15 and never told me about the order.” “The serves switched shift/clocked off and I wasn’t made aware.” “You’re making me cry.” “You didn’t ring ahead and book”… we shouldn’t need to… again it’s a tiny, sleepy village with maybe 500 locals… on a Sunday evening with no major towns within a good 20min doing a 100kms.

An offer was made of a voucher to return but I couldn’t accept it for 2 reasons…..1) I didn’t want to take money from a small business in the middle of a tiny town in the middle of nowhere 2) we shan’t return. It simply wasn’t worth the almost 2 hour round trip.

There is nothing on offer for little people and no I’m not talking about nuggets and a burger. A chicken breast or patty in a bun with a herb mayo or a quality mini fish and chips with salad perhaps. Even a hearty Spaghetti bol. Kept on the menu … I know not every eatery wants children but not every parton is able to leave them at home.

My children tried to thank you and say good bye but were ignored so we went out the side of the little court yard not wanting to make eye...

Pretty disappointed with this place. I am all for supporting a local Loch restaurant given I grew up in Loch!! But this place would die in a busier town or one not reliant on a rotating door of tourists.

Came for a birthday... I tried to phone the restaurant twice before to confirm a cake (that my son made for his Nan) and our booking - never received a return call or confirmation...

When I arrived at the restaurant before my joining party, I walked in with the cake in hand, the reaction from the manager or owner, was so extremely over the top... It was as if I had walked in holding a dead cat! She made it out that I was the worst person in the world for not calling before, treating me like a naughty school boy, I explained the situation - she did not listen and continued to school me... Eventually she agreed to accept the cake but wanted to charge me a service fee for it - which I am more than fine with.

We sat down, she handed my heavily pregnant wife a cocktails list and made an inappropriate joke about needing a drink and didn't want her to be 'bored' on non-alcoholic drinks...

Oh... Our table water had a WORM in the bottle too! And she was shocked we requested another bottle and fresh glasses! It was as if the task was "SOOOOO HARD".

The same lady, made a comment about us bringing our extremely well behaved child to the venue stating "we do not want to advertise that we cater to children, we do not think they belong here" - my wife was ready to walk out at this point! Also, I witnessed her tell off a teenager at another table for being on his phone when they had their entrees delivered, saying he needed to be present with his family... I question why a server would ever say something to a patron like this? What if he was autistic? If you're not kid friendly advertise this and we would not have come!

To round out a terrible lunch from a service perspective, when I went to pay for the food, she burst out of the kitchen telling the young girl that was fixing up the bill that she had not yet completed the bill as she was to add a service charge for the cake, we had already paid, I offered to pay again and she let out a loud sigh and said, "oh its just fine - whatever" - but THEN... started again to tell me off for bringing the bloody cake!

I told her from the outset, if it was a problem to not accept the cake! She did accept it, then proceeded for two hours to hold it against us! Absolute ludicrous service. Food was good but we will absolutely never be returning - thanks for ruining my mothers...

Our Anniversary Dinner did not begin well as we were placed next to the entrance furthest from the fire on a cold evening, even though there was nobody else there. Twenty minutes later two other guests, who had not booked as we had done, got the best seats in the house next to the warmth.

I ordered a “Spanish” prawn entree and was greeted with four small prawns and four pieces of chorizo which wouldn’t have filled a dessert spoon. The sauce was delicious, but the single piece of toast soaked up nothing. I made light of it with my wife as an expensive tiny entree was not going to spoil our special time together. Inside I was thinking that I should have been alerted when I couldn’t access the menu online.

My wife was happy with her gnocchi saying it reminded her of a pub meal we had once at the end of Pakingham St in Geelong. Halfway through my meal a dog came out of the kitchen and into the dining area. We love dogs but, really? No apology was given. The chips I had with the meal were well cooked though a little too salty. The chicken had a strange taste. I asked about this and was told it was the smoking beads. I looked up the name and saw it was a favourite of American cowboys.

American cowboys from the land of hype and glory. I paid the bill and smiled, but it wasn’t memorable for the...