Surfing Lizard - Coogee — Restaurant in Western Australia

The Good; Coffee was good, There's play equipment for the kids and even a doggy menu for the fur babies which is a nice added touch.

The Bad; The food is very underwhelming, and basic seasoning was lacking. Confusing process from entry to receiving food. Basic acknowledgement from staff was non existant, amenaties were repulsive.

I write in more detail below.

First impressions, as a non local of the area, "confusing" for lack of a better word. We found no real direction of any main entrance or anywhere to order, this included menu location also, if there was it was not visible by any means by myself or family this morning. There was no greeting or acknowledgement by staff. One lamimated sign next to the menus, when we found them, at least told us to find a table. Once we decided on what we wanted we had no idea where to order, whether we needed to go to a counter or we would be waited on by any staff, we had no clue. Once we got the attention of a waitress we were finally pointed to a single door to access a room filled with touch screen devices where we could order and pay for our food ourselves. Now, I would have been ok with this, however the I find the notion of being asked to give a tip before; any service, lack of direction, no greeting or acknowledgement upon arrival, and the fact i have to order everything myself a very discourteous notion, seing as we haven't even seen our food yet and our arrival was less than underwhelming. The ordering screen gave no indication of amounts of the portions I.e. the tab "bacon" will buy you 3 pieces of bacon, "scambled aggs" will serve you 3 eggs scrambled. So for anyone going there you may need to ask if your building anything or adding extras.

Considering the price of the food, I hoped the quality would reflect. I was wrong. At approximately $50 per head, with the couple of extras and coffee, the food was somewhat disappointing. To start there were no knives at our table and no serviettes at the table either or even brought with the food. Our Food was presented quickly so there's a bonus.

As my wife went to find the amenities she was greeted with a stench that would offend even the wildlife. Yes it was that bad. Whether it is because it is a public toilet or not I find this highly unsanitary for such a place where dining in is an option. Not to mention is quite an off-putting odour when food is involved.

Here is my further critical review of the 3 dishes we ordered today.

Eggs Benedict: 2 slices of bread stacked on top of each other with what looks to be 2 quale sized poached eggs. Approximately 1 tablespoon of hollandaise, which lacked any seasoning or acidity, on top of that and Wilted spinach served on the side. So I must deconstruct the bread and the eggs then build my eggs Benedict to actually eat them.

Big breakfast: thin short sausages with zero flavour, smashed avocado which lacked any basic seasoning let alone any wow factor. Bland and very basic tomato's and bacon that was quite dry in texture. Very uninspriational in my opinion.

Pancakes: arid pancakes, overcooked/dry bacon, very conservative amount of maple syrup and yoghurt. The wet to dry ratios were all wrong.

Conclusion: I don't think I would return based on everything today. I'm happy to pay for service and quality food but this place did not live up to other competitive standards that are out there by any means. I would not recommend this to my...

This morning I ordered a tumeric latte with almond milk.

I've never ordered one of these from The Surfing Lizard before. When it arrived, my lips barely touched the drink and all I could taste was SUGAR. A lot of it!

I ordered this drink for its health benefits and there was nowhere on the menu that stated it has any kind of sweetener in it.

You will also note that when you order at The Surfing Lizard that you use an iPad....so even if you had a query about a menu item, you aren't afforded a human to discuss it with.

It didn't even cross my mind to ask about sugar content as I've never had a tumeric latte with sugar.

Whilst waiting for my beverage, I actually did spend time reading the refund policy and felt empathy for what seemed like a prolific issue with people wanting refunds for orders. Never thinking that I was about to encounter the enforcement of the policy.

I went inside and asked if I could speak to a human. I was directed to the barista and queried the sugar content with him. He told me "that's how we make them.". I said there was no mention of the sugar and asked if I could exchange it for something else. He kept working and said "there's nothing wrong with it.". I disputed this because there was indeed something VERY wrong with it.

I asked what my options were, because paying nearly $9 for a drink that was unpalatable wasn't fair.

He said there was "no manager on this morning, it's policy not to refund or replace because there's nothing wrong with it."

I just wondered if I'd ordered a coffee full of sugar that I didn't ask for, if I'd receive the same reaction

The blatant rudeness and bad attitude caught me off guard. I was polite and courteous and was shut down with every valid question.

I left the drink behind, $9 poorer and absolutely horrified by the revolting customer service.

Additionally, the cafe is drab, the seating is grotty and falling apart, and the food is over priced for a seaside venue with no ocean view.

Shame there isn't a "zero"...

I have eaten here many times before and always raved about the quality of the food, and have introduced many new people to the cafe. Today I was excited to revisit since the reopening and took my friend who had not been here before. I could not have been more disappointed in the food and service. I ordered the chia cauliflower fritters which I have enjoyed before, and my friend ordered the tomatoes and avocado on toast as she is vegan. Upon ordering she asked if the tomatoes were cooked on the same hotplate as meat and was told no. When the meal came she double checked with the waitress, who said she'd check and came back saying yes they had been. So my friend asked for the tomatoes to be removed, to which the waitress stuck her fingers in the plate to remove them. We thought it was pretty unprofessional and kind of gross, but at the same time funny, and just let it slide. Meanwhile, as I was starting to tuck into my chia cauliflower fritters, I realised they were nothing like they used to be. I could not taste any cauliflower and they were very glutenous in texture and flavour. I was hungry so continued eating, but could not finish it due to the poor quality and when they cleared our plates, thought I'd mentioned it as feedback. The waitress got the cook over who confirmed that too much flour had been used. Then the duty manager came over and started making excuses about new untrained staff. This annoyed me as there was no responsibility being taken for the below standard food and service. So I asked for a credit and he offered us a free coffee. Insulting! After much ado he offered me half of what I had paid, and made me feel as if I was trying to extort money out of them. Interestingly I noticed there are a few other recent reviews mentioning the poor food quality. A tip for the owner, look after your customers and take accountability when you know you are serving up below standard quality. Nobody should have to pay to experience what we did. Neither of us...