Ristorante Amalfi — Restaurant in Meissen

I am an Australian taxidermist with three pet ferrets, so believe me, I know my slop. This slop was rancid.

After waiting in line for an entire 2.7 yuga cycles, I finally made it to the cashier. He was a greasy critter, whose face seemed to give a constant look of umbrage and whose nose resembled a walrus's member. His gaze scraped my very soul as I ordered my meal: a risotto with a crème brûlée. His four inch long fingernails danced across the cash register, and the screen displayed my total of £25.40.

Shuddering, I handed over my hard earned cash and proceeded to the waiting area. I hadn't had to pay that much since my honeymoon in rural Mississippi when I purchased three charbroiled horse spleens for my sweetheart. 40 minutes later, my food was shunted in front of me in a disintegrating trough. My risotto looked like the byproduct of a messy night out. My crème brûlée was far worse. It resembled the ejaculatory fluid of a possum (I might add, something with which I am well acquainted) that had been pasteurized, fermented, and then frozen. After forcing said foodstuffs down my gullet, I stumbled back to my home and proceeded to vomit liters upon liters of purple liquid. I would not recommend consuming anything from this establishment unless you wish to expel substances in more than four states of matter...

The restaurant itself is fine, the staff... very rude, to say the least. Asked to order drinks at least three times for my pregnant wife, they didn't pay attention. The guy with dark black hair was just staring out the window even though the restaurant was empty. Then, when he brought the menus, he kept being impatient, and it stressed my wife. After we ordered our food, he stomped away and stayed on his phone even after the chef called, and I could hear voices from the kitchen speaking in Albanian, saying very rude things about us and I could understand them because I speak Albanian but my poor Indian wife, she was feeling tired and we asked for a glass of water and they slammed it on the table and said some things about smelly and her skin color. Truly embarrassing, speaking in Italian and Albanian just so others can't understand them when badmouthing people, I come from the USA and this is the type of treatment and hospitality we get. I understand people have bad days, but this was over the...

Ordered a Carbonara that was the worst I've had anywhere in the world. They added milk/cream that is not specified on the menu. Had to return the dish and asked for a Carbonara with just the bacon, eggs and Parmeasan. What I got next was the saltiest pasta I've ever had in a restaurant. Could not eat that as well. Was really sorry because it was my birthday and my husband actually wanted to take me out for a nice dinner but sadly that did not happen. The vegetables and potatoes he had with his steak were ok. But I have to add also that his steak wasn't great either. He gave it a...