They say that any port in a storm will do. And, being the only option for a meal at 6pm on a Sunday, that old adage should have held up. But fair warning traveller, here be dragons, and you would be better served throwing yourself on the rocks then venturing here.
It's clear from the moment of entry that management went to the Mr. Krab school of business. Make as much money as possible, spend as little money as possible, and customer service is merely a means to an end.
Money is saved on wait staff on that there aren't any. You order at the bar, and when your meal is ready for you to eat (preferably as quickly as possible to free up your seat for other suckers), your order number is flashed up on a 12" display screen over the bar and kitchen window. You must then proceed to pick up your plate, which only has your meat of choice on it, and then proceed to the public, uncovered, exposed, buffet to add Your Own sides.
Our party of 4 all ordered the battered cod. Now, last time I cooked this dish, it takes mere seconds to throw some fillets in the batter (I'll assume they buy it by the tub and don't make their own fresh each time. Would cut into their profits to much), then throw these battered fillets into the fryer for a few minutes. As there is no need to prep any side dishes, the plate should theoretically be ready to service in less then 15 minutes.
Here I will allow the cook the benefit Of The doubt in their literacy abilities. I know in the modern age adult illiteracy is, unfortunately, still a problem. However, a general tip: if Group A orders (a relatively easy dish) before Group B and C, get Group A done first before tackling the steaks of Group C. Our party waited over an hour and half before one of our number approached the kitchen to be told to sit down, she's too busy, there's a lot of people. At which point we looked around at the mostly empty 'restaurant' and equally empty bar.
By the time our meal was finally ready, we found that we had been duped into paying $30 for something that you would find expensive at $7 at a fish and chippery. Upon attempting to find any sustenance at the buffet, we found measly offerings of baked potatoes that had witnessed the colonisation of this land, a handful of boiled pumpkin that had seen the mountains rise from the see, and a lonely bean that was so dry you could use it as an iron nail in a pinch.
Needless to say, avoid this place at all costs. If you find yourself being forced by a particularly cruel fate to go near this place, I advise you to be well provisioned enoigh to be self sufficient until you can find more...
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