Es Port — Restaurant in Escorca

Review: The Kitty Catastrophe Café - Where Fine Dining Meets Feline Fiasco

⭐☆☆☆☆ (I would give it zero stars if I could, but apparently even this place deserves one... maybe for the free entertainment?)

If you're looking for a dining experience that combines the charm of an animal shelter with the gourmet cuisine of a dumpster, look no further than the Kitty Catastrophe Café! This establishment redefines the concept of "farm-to-table" by skipping the farm entirely and just letting stray cats roam freely on the tables. Yes, you heard that right—cats on the tables.

As soon as we walked in, we were greeted by a waiter with the kind of enthusiasm you might expect from someone being forced to eat glass for a living. He made it clear that we were an inconvenience, not customers. Perhaps he was just tired from spending all day perfecting his "resting scowl face." Either way, we knew we were in for a treat.

After seating ourselves (because apparently that's how things work in this circus), we waited for what felt like an eternity for someone—anyone—to take our order. As we sat there, we noticed something strange: nobody else was eating. Plates of food were left untouched, with patrons wearing expressions that ranged from bewilderment to sheer terror. It was like a scene from a horror movie, where everyone realizes too late that they've made a terrible mistake.

At one point, I thought the waiter was finally coming over to take our order, but instead, he just sneezed directly into the air and walked away. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or run for my life.

Eventually, we decided to cut our losses and leave, but not before witnessing the pièce de résistance: a cat jumping onto the table next to us and casually licking the butter. The best part? The waiter saw this and shrugged as if to say, "What did you expect? This is the Kitty Catastrophe Café!"

In summary, if you're in the mood for rude service, a side of cat fur with your entrée, and an experience that will leave you questioning your life choices, this is the place for you. Otherwise, do yourself a favor and just go to the drive-thru next door. At least there, you can eat in peace—without feline interference or the lingering fear that your waiter is plotting against you.

Would I recommend it? Only if you hate yourself. And even...

I don’t know if the owner still cares, but if he’s reading this, please consider the following feedback.

The food was stale. We went during low season and there were still quite a few options at the counter, but the cake I had was stale, dry, and likely made over a week ago. I’d have been happy to pay the 7.5€ for a regular piece of cake as the location and view commands a premium, but providing stale food with risks of food poisoning is unacceptable in any case.

Health inspectors should pay this restaurant a visit. There are multiple cats roaming in the restaurant, sitting on the same chairs the customers are and none of them looked like they were domestic (and vaccinated) pets. Frankly, it’s quite appalling.

The owner’s attitude was extremely disrespectful. He omitted to charge us for two cans of Coca Cola and, mid meal, came to us and accused us, “You didn’t pay for the coke”. We had paid, but didn’t take the receipt so decided we’d pay again. We had two unopened cans and told him we’d pay for one and put the other back. He proceeded to still charge us for two cans even though he saw my friend putting the can back… I honestly didn’t care for the 3-4€ the can costs, but the owner treated us as if we were trying...

Did not see the bad reviews before I bought the bocadillo which admittedly was quite nice but overpriced. When I bought the food the whole village was deserted. I then found out that the whole place fills up with day trippers after 11am. So when i bought my sandwich the rude large old lady was still busy cutting up the raw chicken whilst handling my card and the card machine. No cleaning of her hands in-between! (arrgh.. too late I already paid for my food). Then one of her little Latin-american helpers picked up the bowl of the cut chicken and dropped the whole content to the floor by mistake. Quickly all meat was shuffled back into the bowl passed to the cook in the kitchen! They could have at least pretended that they are throwing it away. But they did not despite customers seeing it. And that is the point: They don't care! And they will not care about this review I just...