The Kensington Arms — Restaurant in Bristol

I love this place. There, I said it. I love this place. The Kensington in Cotham is the sort of pub you rarely find outside London these days — and even in London they're being squeezed out faster than a pint in Soho on a Friday. It's the holy grail of neighbourhood spots: a proper local with style, substance, a deftly pulled Guinness, and a wine list that doesn’t look like it was printed in the back of a Ladbrokes.

There’s a guest beer on. Always a good sign. Not ten, not twelve, not the sort of barrage of IPA nonsense where every pint tastes like someone cleaned their bong in it — just one well-kept, rotating cask that makes you feel like you’re in on a secret. And the restaurant out back is actually, properly good. Thoughtfully done. Confident. The kind of thing that makes you lean over to your wife and say, mouth full of something beefy and delicious, “God, maybe we should move round here.” It’s that sort of place. It’s got that magic. You feel it in your bones — and your belly.

But here’s the rub. And there’s always a rub.

We arrived at 8pm on a Saturday night — peak time, peak mood, peak appetite. I was ready. I was primed. I had a Guinness in hand and the dreamy glow of a menu that does exactly what I want menus to do: stay the hell out of the way.

Three starters. Three mains. Three sharer/chop-type things. Boom. That’s it. That’s how it should be. None of this laminated, twenty-page novella of mediocrity. I always say — and I do, with dreary repetition — that if a menu needs more than one page, you’re about to be served reheated despair in a ramekin. So when I saw this short, punchy, confident little line-up, I nearly kissed the waiter.

But then came the heartbreak. They’d run out. Not just out of one thing, which you can sort of forgive if it’s an obscure cut of something foraged off a Welsh hill at dawn. But loads of things. A worrying amount of things. Unless I was going veggie (me? More likely to take up ballet) or my wife could be convinced to take on a hulking great Chateaubriand with me (less likely still — she once winced at a côte de boeuf for two like I’d suggested we hunt it ourselves), we were left with… cod or onglet.

Now I like cod. And I adore onglet. But that’s not the point, is it? You can’t go into a restaurant with nine items on the menu and so many of them off. Not at 8pm. Not on a Saturday. That’s like showing up to the cinema and being told the projector’s knackered but they can act out the ending for you.

It kills the momentum. It breaks the spell. Because the spell, here, is that The Kensington is quietly brilliant. That it’s run by people who care. That it’s the sort of place that gets it. And it still might be! I’m going to give it the benefit of the doubt, because I’m not a monster. And because I want this place to succeed. I want it to be great. I want it to be the kind of pub where you book dinner on a Tuesday and stumble out four hours later with half the room’s birthdays in your phone.

But they’ve got to sort that kitchen out. If you’re going to do the lean menu thing — and yes please, do it — then you’ve got to back it up with stock, planning, and the ability to make it to closing without shrugging at guests like it’s a village fête and the cake stand’s been pillaged.

That said, I’ll be back. Probably next week. Because I do love it. The Guinness is cold. The crowd is warm. And I can still taste that promise — the one that makes you Google house prices on...

In a word, disappointing.

Came here with high expectations. Nice atmosphere and looks like a good gastro pub. We came for the supposedly renowned Sunday Roast, but unfortunately the food was poor and severely overpriced (for info, they charge £27.50 for two courses, £35 for three).

Our order: 2 starters, 2 mains, 1 dessert, two pints and two glasses of mid-range wine: £110.

Starter: a pork and black pudding terrine which was quite nice, the chutney was good but no better than a standard caramelised onion chutney, and a handful of cornichons. There was only one small piece of toast to go with it which was stingy - there should be at least two given the portion. 6/10

Main: the roast beef, where to start... first point to make is that most of the dish was room temperature or cold upon arrival. Two small slices of beef, where a quarter of each slice was fat. The actual beef was tasty, but a stingy portion and poor quality. Roast potatoes were not crunchy or seasoned, the Yorkshire pudding tasted like it had been left out for a long time, and had no flavour, I didn't notice the celeriac and thyme puree on the plate though it's stated on the menu, the singular roasted heritage carrot was ok, mixed greens were cold and flavourless, the cauliflower in the cauliflower cheese was very undercooked, a tiny portion of beetroot and no peas, although they are stated on the menu. The gravy was thin but had flavour, although a tiny portion which didn't even cover the plate, and the red cabbage which was sweet and rich and probably the best item on the plate. All in all, very disappointing and measly portions! 2/10

Wine: The English rosé and valpolicella ripasso, good but expensive for glasses; £7/8 for small and £11/12 for 250ml. 6/10

Dessert: shared the sticky ale pudding, nice but tasted like every other sticky toffee pudding. 6/10

Some extra points: The salt grinder did not work, which should have been checked before service. The tap water did not taste fresh, not sure if this was the water, ice or glasses.

It wasn't just us who were disappointed; a person next to us sent the roast beef back as it was too fatty, and was then presented with either the same plate again, or a very similar looking serving. Can't imagine they were very pleased!

Given the setting, reviews and prices, we expected excellent food, but it is a very poor roast and absolutely not value for money. I hope the management sees this and drastically improves the quality, portions and service time once plated (given the cold food) of the dishes. Would...

Two years ago I left a glowing 5* review but my meal yesterday there was so bad that I had to delete it to reflect how the times have changed... I could not help but notice this whole atmosphere of “we are struggling”... Some people popped in to ask for a table and I overheard the waitress say: we have tables for drinks but can not offer food as then we won't have enough food for bookings. Well, they did not have enough food for bookings as we literary had 1 choice on their set menu and normally, given the choice, I would not have eaten and paid for what was that choice. But alternative was to leave and look for somewhere else on Father's day. Impossible. I hope it is just the Sunday as Sunday roast day they have ruined and maybe the menu Tue to Sat is as nice as it used to be but not sure I will want to test it now. By 3pm when our table was booked, we had a choice of ex-dairy beef sirloin steak, nut roast or something like that and onglet which as waitress explained would be served very, very rare so not to everyone's taste. We chose the ex-dairy cow steak and although it did not feel chewy in mouth, was quite the effort to cut with a knife as it was so stringy. If my partner did not eat half of mine, I would have left it there. Yorkshire puddings were absolutely charred - bitter and inedible. I asked if they could be swapped but the swap was exactly the same color - burnt and inedible. I also was not particularly enticed to eat that ex-dairy beef steak. In most cases these cows are used and abused and do not get to graze outside but spend their time indoors summer and winter, are pinched with antibiotics and other meds to prevent all sorts of issues and some farmers do it preventative rather than when the need arises. Just stop this virtue signalling and cook a normal roast even if you have to charge more and have enough food to cook for at least your bookings. I wonder why that ex-dairy cow was still there available and other nicer options gone by 3pm. And scallop started - OMG that one scallop was so overcooked swimming in tasteless puddle of butter / oil and loads of dried onions on top. That was absolutely shocking. People are not stupid! What a sad...