McDonald's — Restaurant in London

Utterly despicable. I ordered and, I kid you not, they got every. Single. Item. Wrong.

Nine nuggets, you're having a laugh! They weren't. They gave me eight. The chips? Absent. The Coke? No. I didn't even want the Coke. I asked for a milkshake, but - in their usual fashion - had none. A brownie? Clearly I'd asked for too much. Had I been selfish, pressuring these clearly unpa- underpaid youths for nine ENTIRE nuggets, some chips and a brownie? Honestly, how dare I. What a sick mindset I must've had. So ignorant... So flippant. I immediately succumbed myself to therapy.

Maybe the £1.69 I'd paid for my absent brownie had gone towards the youth whom was incapable of basic maths. Maybe they now had a chance of correctly counting out nuggets in the future. Things were starting to look up. Sheepishly, with an ounce of courageosity, I looked out of the window of my Reliant Robin. Past the billowing mounds of black smoke emerging from the McDonalds, a cloud in the shape of the missing nugget passed over the hazy horizon. I knew in my heart that this was for the better. Perhaps that one nugget could've been the tipping point to a heart attack... this could've been my end. For that, I have to thank McDonalds and the thugs, the hooligans - the youths. Thank you for saving my life.

In my newly found fervent for McDonalds, I went through the drive-thru once more and turned to the lady in the window. After waiting for what actually WAS an eternity, I was handed a box. But no ordinary box... The writing spilling over the sides of the cardboard and with a colour scheme capable of making you colossally sick. This was a McNuggets box. With a gleeful tear brimming in my eye, I opened this majestic present. T-there it was... My single McNugget! "Oh, but you were too kind!" I sobbed, tears now free-flowing down my forsaken face. To no prevail, the window slammed shut. But I didn't care. I knew that the youth needed the extra time to study maths so communicating with me was merely gratuitous. That's okay. A McNugget is a small price to pay for the copious levels of wisdom I'd received that day. I'd become Will Smith. I was complete. I am complete.

Upon turning the corner from the McDonalds, I'd become caught in the blackened smoke. Spluttering and gagging and retching and gasping, I hadn't noticed that my Robin (three-wheeled) had rolled over into oncoming traffic. I'd scared my Robin and this was his defence mechanism. That's okay. I knew I'd be leaving this world in a better state than it was upon joining, considering I had single-handedly inhaled all of McDonald's smoke from cooking seemingly no food.

At last, my character arc was complete. I died from the heart attack of that last nugget whilst a car simultaneously finished off my debilitated carcass. McDonalds......

This particular branch seems to have serious problems. Mistakes are extremely common. Usually caused by staff lacking the ability to correctly process orders.

It is very rare that I have made an order here that does not have an issue.

Take today for example, I ordered a simple double cheeseburger. I sat down, opened the wrapping to discover the burger looked like it had been crushed or subjected to some sort of side impact (see picture).

I took the burger back to the till where an employee took it from me and showed the manager. He sort of shrugged his shoulders then attempted to dash the burger into the bin (he missed and the burger ended up on the kitchen area floor).

They gave me a replacement, I opened it there and then to find my replacement was exactly the same. What are they doing to the food back there?

I showed the disgruntled manager who once again dashed it in the bin (no attempt of explaining or apologising for what is going on).

Third time lucky as the next one was ok.

These kinds of issues are prevalent here and the staff seem numb to any complaints, acting with indifference and without any kind of embarrassment for errors or care for the brand.

There is however a lovely hard working gentleman who usually serves customers sitting upstairs, single handedly keeping this branch from receiving a 1 star rating.

Lord help anyone who plans to get delivery from here, I gave up on that a long time ago. Always cold and missing items (yes, both issues nearly every time).

McDonalds have let their standards slip... They need to get a grip of this branch, get a manager in who takes pride in serving customers what they want.. hot, non squished food (preferably without missing items too...

The worst McDonald’s I’ve ever ordered food from! I’ve mad an order through uber eats and everything I’ve ordered turned out to look and taste s**t! I’ve ordered 2 Oreo ice creams which turned out to not have oreos inside them at all, cheeseburger which was totally dry with no cheese or anything inside, Big Mac - the only decent item turned out to taste good just cold.. and on the top I’ve gotten a plain banana milkshake ! I wouldn’t recommend this place at all, tried to make them reorder it and I’ve been told on the phone ‘that’s how you’ve made your order’ and then the guy who worked there hang up on me.

Update 31st July 2019: ordered Uber eats and double egg muffin meal turned up to be just a sandwich and a coffee the side- hash brown was missing, shouldn’t you check the order properly before giving it to the delivery guy? . When calling up the restaurant, a little girl answered when asked to speak to the manager she had a bad attitude, no customer service or whatsoever telling me to come get my refund, if I had the time to mess around I would be collecting not ordering. This branch is absolutely incapable, never happened to me before will never be returning to this branch neither order waste of time and...