Hide Out — Restaurant in Wales

The Hide Out cafè, made me want to run and hide!

As some of my long time readers are fully aware I am an ancient and wise wizard! The magical force of the universe is strong in my LeCox (my magic wand), and I use my magic to supplement my income. So I set up my magic stall on the high street outside of Aberafon, I was dressed to impress and amaze. Fur coat. Diamond studded platform heels. A top hat so large it was capable of holding not only my large and mighty head but 3 pigeons, 4 geese, a tamed lion cub and a fully grown ostrich called Nigel (haven't worked out what I'm going to use him for yet).

I was flaunting my wares, preforming miracles and doing my magic tricks. This on the whole was not too difficult given most of the people who stopped were smack heads so checked out I could have dangled my keys infront of them and they would have been amazed! I decided to stop after doing the classic "I've got your nose joke" turned violent... barely got out with my life...

What was I to do now? I'd earned a little scratch, so I decided to go for lunch! That's when I spotted the Hide Out Cafe and thought, perfect! Some hot taste food! My fingers were numb from the bitter February weather.

I climbed the stairs and arrived at the establishment. Clean and tidy on first inspection. I sat at a table and was surprised by how weirdly sticky it was. Stickier than Sticky Steve the Sticky Sweet Maker.

I ordered my meal. Poached egg on toast. The hide out brunch (or something vaguely along those lines) a black coffee and for dessert a Welsh Cake and Lemon Drizzle cake. My food arrived in good time and the waitress was very friendly. However the food wasn't up to much in all honesty.

I'll start with the poached eggs on toast...

As I gazed down onto the plate before me. The eggs looked like... um... how to put this... a pair of flopily dopilies on a piece of toast... a pair of jaundiced eyeballs... I have no idea. Just look at the photo, you'll see what I mean...

(A little advice for you Hide Out, if you put poached eggs on a menu, don't use a Microwave poacher)

Then my brunch. Again chef Mike was very busy. The sausages were so hot I literally had a nose bleed! The eggs were under cooked. They had been steamed I suspect but not well. The top of the egg was very slimy, raw, and this is not a joke, the egg was so slimy it slid across my plate as I tried to cut it! I remarked "It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!!!" as it attempted the great escape from my plate!

The beans were decent quality and tasted good. The doorstop toast again spot on. Bacon lovely thick rashers. Chips were chips, frozen and deep fried in vegetable oil. Nothing too note worthy.

My desert, the Welsh cake was soooo dry. It crumbled and turned to dust before my very eyes. They were stale. I know we were close to the beach but I expect the sand to be on the shore and not take the form of a Welsh cake!

The lemon drizzle cake was decent. Tea and coffee again decent. Warm and wet.

I paid my bill and left. I walked outside and pulled my trusted canoe from my top hat and jumped into the river. In a scene identical to the charge of the light brigade (except instead of horse back it's a canoe, and in a river, and in Wales, and I didn't have a saber, or a gun, or a military uniform... other than that it was identical) I moved on to my next destination!

The Hide Out 2.5/5 (learn to cook a decent egg!!! It's...

Haven't been for a while until today. Remember when the cafe was called Rolls choice and can still remember the amazing chicken curry and chips they did amongst other things including a chicken mayo baguette and used to be a regular place to visit for lunch. Called in to have chicken curry and chips today but was left very disappointed. Chicken curry came in a bowl which to my surprise had mushrooms in it. Once I picked out the mushrooms there was very little chicken in there to eat. Service was great as it always has been with some of the same ladies...

Food was very nice, the lady who was serving was very abrupt, rude. I was standing out of line was going to ask where the menus were. She rudely said the cue is over here. I said I wanted a menu to browse through she just pointed over there... I was trying to look she said there at the bottom. The customer service was awful ... listening to her talking to the old age was very patronising...other than that I would of come there again ...but will...