Side Pie — Restaurant in California

There are many good pizzas between the two ‘denas: Pizza of Venice, U Street, Luggage Room, etc. Although all formidable pie shops, a new contender has hopped to the top of this suburban pizza mountain.

Started as a backyard pandemic popup, Side Pie has graduated to permanent status with a small selection of wine and beers you can sip at their parking lot as piazza dining area in the alley behind the restaurant. If you order online you do need to pick a time, so some forethought is needed. Its not really an on-demand experience, as walking up requires a wait. Some things are worth waiting for, and Side Pie is one of those things.

You will be greeted by an enthusiastic staff in a cool hat, Baz Lurhmann R&J shirt, or maybe some Blink merch. You will want to buy some of the merch that combines hiker-stoner vibes with moving company design and mystical aesthetics. Get one pizza per person, which is way too much but you’ll want leftovers. Reheats great in minutes the next day in the oven. Grab the wine option or beers and enjoy your wait in the back as the staff fires pie after pie, building up your anticipation. Listen to the kitchen, turn on a heater and chill.

I’ve had all their pizzas, and all are masterclasses. Definitely don’t skip pepperoni, they get the good kind and it redeems all your prior pepperoni disappointments. We waited a quick 45 sipping wine, which isn’t a critique; its nice to be slowed down to enjoy something.

The pizza was eaten so fast I hardly remember as it puts you in a manic carnal euphoria, where dairy, gluten, sauce and pork meld into a addictive manna. Its thin and burnt on the bottom (as pizza should be). The different items actually share many elements, but you appreciate each of the different combinations. The ricotta on the pepperoni pizza plays a different role than on the Kevin Lymans pizza, a white pizza, which is one of the great dimensions of Italian food; ingredients driven, simple prep.

I was a U street loyalist, and they still make great pizza, but fresh Side Pie is transcendental. Like the name says, it’s not your main pie, not your go-to weeknight warrior spot. It’s your Side Pie, the special one you look forward too that gives you something other pizzas just don’t have. For some people pizza is not that kind of food, but Side Pie might...

Gimme pizza, P-I-Z-Z-A. Gimme pizza, P-I-Z-Z-A. Now we're feeling kind of hungry. We got our mega munchies. Time to make our pizza as big as some countries. How much pizza do you think we can't chow? More than our parents whatever a lot. We're gonna make a masterpiece a pizza. A work of art like the Mona Lisa. It's gonna be hot like the Tower of Pisa. Let's get there. You don't need a visa. Pizza, P-I-Z-Z-A. Gimme pizza. Um, did I happen to say, I want pizza. P-I-Z-Z-A. I want pizza. Hey, are you ready to play? Now set down the pizza and bring me some chicken. Throw it on top and make your finger lickin'. Guacomole, meatballs, whip cream pours like waterfalls. Here's a lot of salsa to make it hot. Here's a lot of ice cream that hits the spot. Toss the fish, let it fly, fly, fly, pizza pie. Pizza, P-I-Z-Z-A. Gimme pizza. Watch it rise like a souffle. Gimme pizza. P-I-Z-Z-A. I want pizza. You think we should stop? No way! Get your motors running, cause here we go. Taco stocks, spreading it slow. Oreos, marshmallows, caramel coconut cream, Egg foo young, chicken tongue. Hold the eyeballs. I'm gonna scream. Now don't forget the right-sized mashed potatoes. And what about those fried green tomatoes? Saturn's up, catcher's ready. 1-2-3-4-5...spaghetti! Pasta...Put it in the pizza. Fish sticks...Put it in the pizza. Ketchup...Put it in the pizza. Meatloaf...Uh, put it in the pizza. Pizza, P-I-Z-Z-A. Gimme pizza. Add some tacos, OLE`! I want pizza. P-I-Z-Z-A.I want pizza. Call us the queens of gourmet. I want pizza. P-I-Z-Z-A. Gimme pizza. How much does it weigh? I want pizza.P-I-Z-Z-A. I want pizza. Is it finally done? HOORAY! Here it is, ready to serve. This pizza...

We really wanted to love this place. We love thin crust pizza and, since we can't fly away to Italy on a moment’s notice (or even a year’s notice), we hoped this would be a great alternative. Akin to the hateful world of dating (I’m married now, thankfully), where the first time you meet someone they may be on their very best behavior and you get duped into thinking “this may be the man of my dreams.” The first time I had Side Pie I had all the feels - they presented well, laughed at my jokes, and the pies were delicious. I thought the search was over. Next it was the “I’ll call you in a couple days” phase - or “I’ll have the pie ready at 6pm but it won’t be ready until 6:15pm.” I thought, it’s okay, they had a believable excuse. The pies were a little undercooked but still yummy. The second time I ordered it we were almost “stood up”and waited 40+ minutes for the order - they “made it up to us” and gave us a free pizza. Everyone likes free pizza, right? Answer: NOPE… not when it’s charred to oblivion on the bottom of the pizza and inedible. We tried it yet again, embracing a “three strikes and your out” mentality. But like dating an unattainable, disinterested bad-boy bachelor, we waited almost an hour. They felt bad and, again, gave us another free pizza. When we got home, we realized none of the pizzas were what we ordered. And… they were all charred to oblivion again on the bottom. BOTTOMLINE: if appointments don’t matter, create a new system — like texting when the pie is ready. And if your pizza machines don’t work properly, buy better ones. But for the cost of the pies - exorbitant - it’s simply not worth it. We have officially...