Taco Bell — Restaurant in Lake Forest Park

Everything in my life has led me to this moment. I've lived, I've loved, I've grieved, and I've achieved. And now here I stand, reviewing a Taco Bell. The only currency of any value in this world is time, and I've spent much of mine attempting to invoke my God-given right to ingest weird combinations of beef, cheese and corn, only to be met by obstacles to my dream.

Today was the third time over the span of about a month, due to faulty equipment or low staff or something. (The third time of a FEW times I've attempted to visit this Taco Bell. I don't come to Taco Bell every day, so calm down.)

If it does happen to be open, there's a good chance you will wait 20 minutes or more for your food. If you're extra lucky, you'll be stuck in your car in the drive through line, unsure of whether you should turn your engine off or wait just a little longer because it looks like you're about to move.

One time I waited inside the restaurant for thirty minutes at about 3 in the afternoon--or if you're an alcoholic, 8pm. They had four people moving about in the kitchen, and what appeared to be a supervisor in their office. A different group of four people released Sargeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band. This group of four slowly made a Doritos Locos taco.

Taco Bell offers a multitude of ways to customize your order, but for the love of God, do not use them. Once you do, you have just created an incomprehensible puzzle for the sad souls at working the window.

"You want to sub chicken into your chalupa instead of beef?" the panicked and formless voice mumble-shouts into your open car window, before resolving the issue by forgetting to put a third of your order into the bag or magicking your chalupa into a crunchy taco combo somehow.

They want me to Live Mas, but how can I do that sitting inside the confines of a mostly empty Taco Bell for thirty minutes while not stuffing my stupid face with food I didn't even order? Bring back the chihuahua--first from the dead, then to the commercials.

I'd give this Taco Bell zero stars but the taco fries with the plastic cheese...

It's not everyday that their coveted, black beans are available for substitution, but by God, they are worth the wait - like the sun on Lake City Way. As a veggie (mostly), there is something uniquely satisfying about my local Taco Bell's fare. My typical order for 2 people is as follows.

2 Doritos Locos tacos, sub black beans 1 Mexican pizza, sub black beans 1 black bean crunch wrap supreme Plus one wild card. For instance we tried the new grilled cheese burrito, sub black beans today.

First, the tacos. The crunch of the taco. The tang of the Doritos nachos seasoning. Very light, almost more of an aperitivo, as it gets your mind right for the meal and extends the experience. Second, the Mexican pizza. This is one of the higher value items on the menu, but well worth it. Two crispy tortillas, stacked with a spiced tomato sauce, black beans, and cheese. A truly wonderful nod to two incredible food cultures. And last, but certainly not least, of my regular order the crunch wrap. This is the one. Fresh iceberg lettuce, diced tomatoes, nacho cheese, sour cream, layered above and below a tostada shell, all wrapped in a tortilla, and grilled. It's perfect. Sure you'll get a pocket of nacho cheese that might seem too rich, but embrace it. It will all make sense once you finish it. And yes, this location sometimes doesn't have black beans, and yes every once in awhile they put the wrong hot sauce in, but friends, with a Taco Bell this close to your house, those are champagne problems, because these folks hearts are in the right place.

PS loved the chipotle smokiness in the grilled cheese burrito. Unexpected...

This location never opens on time, and sometimes closes early. There is always at least one item missing or wrong. It must be a franchise, because if you order online, and need to request a refund for a missing or incorrect item - or if you can't pick up the online order you paid for because there is no one inside an hour after the store was supposed to open - the website cannot find the store. If you try to order at the drive thru, they take FOREVER, even if it's not busy. Management seems just as incompetent as staff - after going through the drive thru and finding an entire combo missing, I went inside to correct the order. Without asking, the manager took the part of the order out of my hand that was correct, and threw it away. When I pointed that out to him, he seemed annoyed with me. When the whole order was finally remade, there was still a missing taco, and the supreme upgrade to another item and guacamole (that I paid extra for) was still missing. On another trip (I don't know why I keep going back, either), we paid for large drinks, but staff at the window informed us they were out of large cups. No refund, no extra drink, just paid for yet another item I didn't get. Save yourself the trouble and drive to a different location, or a different chain entirely. (I used to manage a fast food location, and my regional and district managers would have fileted me alive if I made as many mistakes as this location constantly makes. They must be...