India House — Restaurant in San Juan

Ah, the joys of dining out, eh? A simple night out turned into an evening so catastrophic it felt like Gordon Ramsay had wandered into a school cafeteria. But alas, here we were, me and the wife, innocently stumbling into what looked like a promising Indian restaurant. I mean, it was packed to the rafters with Indian families — always a good sign, right? Wrong. Turns out, they weren’t there for the food but probably to settle bets on how long the chaos could keep going without someone flipping a table.

The first red flag? The look on the faces of the other diners. Not the smug joy of people halfway through the best meal of their lives, but the grimace of souls questioning every life choice that led them there. Still, we pressed on. We’re Gujarati Indians, well-traveled, and generally optimistic. Big mistake.

At the door, we were greeted by a man whose shirt had lost more buttons than the Titanic had rivets. He might’ve been attempting suave, but he came across as the sort of bloke who’d sell you dodgy perfume in a motorway layby. He barked at the lone waitress to seat us, and she plonked us right by a window — great for watching traffic, less great for avoiding frostbite.

Within minutes, the young couple at the next table leaned in, clearly desperate to warn us about their Channa Chatt. “It smells off,” they said. Smells off? Mate, I’ve been to petrol stations with less alarming odours. Turns out, the dish was whipped up 10 days ago. That’s right, 10. DAYS. You’d think they’d at least have the decency to try the “it’s fermented” excuse. But no, Mr. Buttons was upfront about it like it was some sort of culinary flex.

By this point, we’d decided to play Russian roulette with the menu. No starters, just mains, and let’s pray the chef hadn’t died halfway through making them. After waiting 15 minutes — during which no staff dared approach us — I went back to Buttons, who begrudgingly took the order like he was doing us a favour. Two mains, two naans, and a Coke. But the Coke? Help yourself from the fridge. Glasses? Plastic cups that looked like they’d been nicked from a kid’s birthday party.

When the food arrived, things took a darker turn. The naans weren’t just disappointing — they were an insult. Imagine bread so lifeless and bland it must’ve been shipped directly from Costco’s clearance aisle. My wife’s Baingan Aloo? Cold in the middle. Not “room temperature,” but straight out of a morgue. This wasn’t a meal; it was an autopsy.

Now, I’m not unreasonable. Mistakes happen, but reheating yesterday’s slop and calling it cuisine? That’s not a mistake; it’s a declaration of war. I marched back to the counter, where Buttons’ identical twin — let’s call him Zipper — tried to smooth things over. When I pointed out the cold potatoes, he muttered something about “bringing it to their attention sooner.” Mate, sooner? We were seconds away from needing a tetanus shot.

The grand finale? The bill came with a compulsory 15% service charge. Service? What service? The staff were so absent I thought they might be ghosts, haunting the place out of sheer embarrassment. I refused to pay the service charge and, to their credit, they didn’t argue. Probably because they were too busy dodging complaints from every other table.

As we ordered our Uber and waited outside, we struck up a conversation with another delightful couple, both teachers enjoying a much-needed holiday like ourselves. They overheard us discussing how underwhelmed we were by the food and service. It turned out they’d had an equally disappointing experience, and we all shared a good laugh over just how unimpressive the meal had been. In the end, we agreed that leaving a fair and honest review would be the best way to caution future diners about this restaurant.

So here’s the truth: this restaurant is a tragic comedy of errors, with food older than most memes and service so bad it could be its own Netflix special. Save your money, save your stomach, and save yourself from the Costco naan apocalypse. You’ve...

This place is trashy but somehow the most overpriced restaurant I have ever been to in my life. I’d like to preface this by saying I come from a 5 person Indian family and during our trip to Puerto Rico we craved Indian food. Right when you walk into the restaurant you are greeted with a banner of a ai elephant and crowded seating. After sitting down we decide to order some pretty basic dishes. Let me tell you when I say THEY ARE OVERPRICED as heck. One average curry costs $20 -22 and basic naan (one naan cut into 2 pieces each serving) is $7.this is what we ordered for a total of $74:

Goat Curry- Tastes like canned soup Naan- Similar to ones you can find sold in Costco yet they manage to make something mid a painful dish Butter Chicken- it was alright but in my option little bit too tart and tastes like pure tomatoes Daal- very standard

The overall ambiance is disappointing to say the least.. When I came to throwaway my trash I was greeted with chutneys filled with extra protein aka flys and the best part was the open bowls found right next to it, happily waiting for new victims. As soon I threw away my trash I felt like I got served a hatecrime with a side of reheated naan.

Not to mention you automatically have to give a tip of 15% WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

Trust me when I say this:

1. turn your butt around from the door
2. head back into you car
3. run to the nearest Costco
4. buy some Indian food
5. check out and have a great meal

I have to say great job to making one of the few and worst Indian restaurants in all of Puerto Rico!

P.S all of the 5-stars should be...

India House in San Juan, Puerto Rico, was a colossal disappointment from start to finish. I can honestly say it was one of the worst dining experiences I've ever had. We ordered chana chaat, chana masala, mutton, and chicken, and to put it mildly, the food was absolutely horrendous. The flavors were off, the textures were unappetizing, and it left a lot to be desired in both taste and presentation. It was clear that the kitchen did not have a clue about Indian cuisine or how to prepare a decent meal.

However, the real kicker was the atrocious behavior of the owner. This man is the epitome of rudeness and has no business being in the hospitality industry. Instead of making us feel welcome, he treated us with disdain, as if we were an inconvenience to him. His lack of basic courtesy was shocking; I've encountered friendlier people in fast food chains.

Moreover, there was absolutely no mention of a service charge until we received the bill. It’s completely unacceptable not to inform customers about additional fees upfront, especially when the service was so lacking in the first place.

Overall, I would strongly advise anyone considering dining at India House to steer clear. When a meal is bad and the service is worse, it’s not just a bad experience—it’s a total disaster. Save your money and your taste buds, and look for a more respectful establishment that actually knows how to serve good food.

Please avoid eating Indian food anywhere on...