La Parada Bay Noakes — Restaurant in Harare

Now. I believe in balance so I’ll start by saying that they make the best pornstar martini. I got it the first few times I had drinks here.

However… I had dinner with my friend last night and I was somewhat disappointed. I ordered dessert first - I had the Chocolate brownie with caramel crunch. It’s the first thing that caught my eye the first time I had a look at the menu so I was really looking forward to finally having it. I’d pictured a rich dense brownie with a chocolate layer on top and a glossy drizzle of butterscotch sauce served with artisanal icecream. What I got? A dry brownie with low quality, watery icecream. I don’t think the combination of the brownie and honeycomb crunch was well thought out. I had to chew for two hours just to swallow my bites. I know that dish can be improved and I’ll be looking forward to trying it again.

My friend and I went halfsies on the deep fried prawn rolls and pulled beef pasta. We failed to finish the pasta because the food was just that filling. We had the sushi first and idk. It was mid. I think the rice was too sadzary so the weight of it caused the sushi to disintegrate upon contact with the chopsticks. The soy sauce was also subtracting points from the sushi, it didn’t have that kick. It was more of a bitter taste. Onto the pasta. Again… it was mid. I had to add black pepper and salt to really taste the pasta and enjoy it. My friend purports that the slow cooked beef needed 3 more days to cook because she had to summon all her strength just to chew it. The pasta sauce was alright though I guess.

Food aside. The service was great. The waiters were very friendly and helpful. I ordered a drink I didn’t enjoy (virgin lavender lily, it tasted like detergent) and they offered to make a different one with an assortment of fruit juices instead. I really appreciated that. The atmosphere? I’d say the vibes were correct. The music was perfect. I was two seconds away from asking for their playlist but I found out that it was a live DJ performing so...

Not worth the hype While the venue is fantasticly decorated and tries to have a section for everyone's style. That's about the only thing going for this place. Parking is terrible. There was a cue at the door and the hostess was nowhere to be found. People eventually just walked themselves through and sat where they wanted. They were well past capacity with lots of people standing around the bar which turned the whole atmosphere into a night club vibe with very loud music. Would not recommend for an intimate dinner or family events where you hope to talk to each other. We overheard tables around us complaining about the service but luckily for us we were fine, maybe because we were a small table.

The food was a great disappointment all around. Starters of bao buns arrived cold, the potstickers had absolutely no Asian flavor. The sushi (two different plates) were the type of tiny portions you expected at a buffet and were even lower quality than a cheap buffet with old hard rice. They didn't have real soya sauce and instead had this thick horrible sauce refilled into "authentic" soya bottles. Exactly the same sauce in the light soya and normal soya bottles, no difference at all. The best part of any lamb shank is the red wine sauce, which is even stated on their menu. It had no such sauce at all, instead a green Pesto oil. The mash potato was chunky and over buttery. The only saving grace was the soft lamb which you had no sauce to enjoy with. The cocktails were inconsistent between rounds and for their price was nothing special.

We are quite happy to pay the exorbitant price tag if the quality was of the same value and it absolutely is NOT. We will not be going back...

Aesthetic, that is top tier decor, ambience everything aesthetic is spot on,IG baddies will get their content. music is fire, the DJs deliver, you would want to dance so bad but the space is limiting,unless you get sitting by the furnace with the couches. Its pretty cozy for dinner dates. The food is nice, seasoning is quite considerate for all types of diets, the diabetics are in safe hands. The guards were really sweet about getting me parking and parking safely. Very considerate gents. The waiters waited at hand for us throughout the night, they delivered fast and quick,attentive to each beacon. For my ghetto uprising peers, if you cant get yourself from sober to drunk state at Pabloz, dont rush here quick, the wallet needed here should be carrying cards in precious gem names, platinum, gold,carbon black. Your CBZ and steward bank card will block your cards thinking you getting robbed trying to pay for your meal. That menu be carrying hefty pricing, some bottle was worth 30% of my car's worth, do you see what i mean,brother. If you aint driving a big/fancy car, nice suvs, my brother on a date, just park outside if you arrive at night and save yourself the confusion. You will be frustrated doing a car tour not being allowed to park in those seemingly empty spots till they guide you outside. You will ruin your night frustrating yourself with finding parking. You will already have old men inside trying to take your date anyway, parking is the least of your problems.

Anyway lovely place. Just its a wallet suicide going there if...