Nowhere Entertainment — Attraction in Inver Grove Heights

The potential is there, but it's not a "can't miss" attraction yet. I've been to and seen a lot in the haunt world over the past two decades. I went on a non-weekend night, and it was just over $25 with tax. I timed my visit, it was 12 minutes, and that was because I could go slow and admire the work they did in building this from scratch. I know some folks have gone through and were done in 9-10 minutes, and on a weekend, that ticket cost $28+, which seems high. Given the seasonal nature of haunted attractions and the many costs to put on a good one, I don't expect an hour of entertainment for $10. Pluses at Nowhere include that it is indoors, and has some indoor queue line. On a busy night, the line might be out the door. But at slower times, you don't have to wait in the cold. And it's always dark, so if you go at 6 p.m., you're not impacted by sunset like you are at area haunted hayrides. It has an incredible set. They didn't simply grab a bunch of old, broken, dirty stuff to fill the scenes. They put a lot of effort into design and construction, and you'll see that if you look for it. There's not one overall theme, the scenes vary. So it's not all pirates, not all clowns, not all mad doctors. But it's done well. It has some cool props to go along with the live actors. Given they've committed to a long-term location, they'll be able to reopen it the rest of the year for special themes, as is the trend with permanent structures that aren't outdoors. We should see a Christmas theme at their haunt, and we could see Valentine's Day, St. Patty's Day and/or Easter themes as well in the future. That's not something we're use to seeing around Minnesota. The location is a bonus. Our biggest attractions still in business in 2022 are hayrides and/or haunted mazes on the outskirts of the metro, or beyond. This place isn't too far from Minneapolis or St. Paul, and it's easy to access off I-494. It ain't close for people in Anoka, but it's easy to access for a lot of people in the south metro. You don't see haunted attractions in Bloomington, Apple Valley or Burnsville these days. And their plans call for a mini-golf course and arcade in 2023. Very cool plans. I hope they all pan out. Drawbacks include the price. I expect to pay more per minute for one haunted maze at an indoor strip mall off I-494 than I pay for a hayride beyond the north metro off I-35. But you get a lot more for your money at Dead End Hayride, or Screamtown and Abandoned Hayride in Chaska. My cost to visit Dead End was less than Nowhere, and I probably got about 50-60 minutes of actual entertainment at Dead End. But it's a much longer drive to get there and I'm subject to the elements. It's not an apples-to-apples comparison, but yeah, you're paying more for less in Inver Grove Heights. The other major bummer was that there was no big finish at Nowhere. There were plenty of actors, and lots of cool sets, but the finish was just another room. You walk out and you're in a hallway leading to the mini-arcade/concession stand area they have. They really need a big finish that leaves a lasting impression. $28 isn't going to break the bank, but I'll probably sit out any upcoming holiday themes and see how they do before I consider returning for another look. There's potential here for a great year-round attraction that's worth repeat visiting. Let's see if...

This place has good production value, nice sets. It's indoors so you are shielded from the elements and any lingering sunlight. It's in a strip mall, so parking was quick and easy.

We arrived a bit before our reservation time and am glad we did because right at the time it says, a big group all came in at once. There is a ticket booth in the middle with the wall of the maze extending out behind it. Even the room before you enter the maze is fully themed. On the right is the queue with a projection screen showing clips related to the attraction and old horror movie trailers. The entrance to the maze looks like you are walking into a pirate ship.

This is where my first complaint comes in. The actor at the door told a few groups to come close to hear the rules... And then closer, and then closer, and then he yelled at us for not being close enough to practically make out with each other. Like I know COVID isn't as serious as it once was but I don't need him and a bunch of other strangers all in my personal space and breathing on me and I don't enjoy being insulted over it, even if it's in-character pirate insults. Of course this guy didn't even project or talk loudly on top of it. They could have just put the rules on the projection screen if anything. A couple of the male actors inside the maze as well got way up in our face... Like a few millimeters close. Just not a fan and it's awkward, not scary.

The maze itself was 3 different sections that I remember: pirate, asylum/hospital, and circus/clown. The sets were all very well done, but I wish there was more lighting as many sections were quite dark. The actors didn't really have places to hide in a lot of rooms, so it got very predictable when they all hid against the wall just inside the doorway and jumped at you as you walked through the threshold. The clown section was neat because there were flaps you walked through that blended in with the red and white striped walls but twice we walked into the wrong flaps and it was the actors hiding spot instead of the correct way forward.

You exit into the area that has concessions and some good spooky themed arcade and pinball games. This will also be where they add "haunted mini golf" in the future.

All in all, we were in line for 10 minutes and the maze was 10 minutes (we took baby steps the whole time). I only came with one other person because such a short experience wouldn't have been worth it to gather a larger group in my opinion. I would have given 4 stars, but I just can't justify paying 28 dollars for a 10 minute experience when you can have a whole night of entertainment for maybe a few dollars more at some of the other haunt attractions in the area.

I guess the intention is for this to be a year round attraction. I hope the additional escape room style event and the mini golf is enough to keep bringing in crowds, because I'm not convinced of the longevity of this...

We've (5 of us) have gone to Nowhere a few times now. Each time we've gone, we've enjoyed it. Now let's dive into some of the nitty gritty. I will say this place isn't going to be for everyone which is fair.

The first time we've gone, we did a haunted house around Halloween. We enjoyed it, think our only gripe was it felt a little short for the price. But overall was fun. The staff was fun to chat with.

We returned for Christmas Yule Scream. We went in without knowing it was a theatrical experience. I enjoyed the theatrical aspect a lot, can't speak for everyone. It was definitely different and enjoyed the actors with their voices telling the story. The only issue we experienced with this was the wait time in line. Think we waited ~45 mins when arriving near our time slot.

We will probably be returning for the Valentine's day event.

We returned today for an escape room since we had a coupon. We did the funeral home. Our group (5) did it in 57 mins, didn't need any clues. We've done probably 10+ escape rooms with various vendors and locations. In my opinion this was probably one of the better ones we've done. Top 2 I would say. There was enough puzzles for all of us where we divided and conquered. I enjoyed the person running our escape room. Was fun chatting, and personable. I also really enjoyed the amount of rooms that got unlocked. Since we've done escape rooms where it's only 1 room and that makes it very challenging since there isn't many puzzles or enough room to move. But having 4 rooms was great. The puzzles weren't overly hard nor super easy. 1 recommendation I would say is - send in an extra flashlight. One of ours was dying. Otherwise having the place dark and just having a light was a lot of fun and added an extra challenge. We realized a potential issue, is the event someone is colorblind, they may need some assistance.

Overall enjoyed Nowhere. If you need beta testers, our group (5) would totally be down! I do have one recommendation, the price. I will say Nowhere is a bit on the higher side in my experience. Without a coupon we probably wouldn't have gone when we did. But so far someone has found a coupon or a deal to help lower the price by a couple bucks making...