Swings-N-Things Fun Park — Attraction in Olmsted Township

Two words for you people.. GO KARTS. Ok, maybe that is one? Hyphenated? Anywho, those are the words you need to remember. That is what makes this place worth coming to (in my not so humble opinion of course!)

This joint has been around since I was a teen.....and lemme tell ya, that was a while ago. But, I digress.....not a whole bunch has changed since the days of yore. Sure, they have added a few things here and there, but nothing has really been remodeled. Outdated, falling apart and portions of the park non functional. Here, I will detail it out for ya yo!

1. Batting cages: Same old batting cages doing the same old thing. A ball flies at your head and you aim and swing. Not been updated, but still functional.

2. Bumper boats: They may have painted the things....but this attraction is exactly the same. Often times the boats malfunction, so that is no fun.

3. Paintball zone: This is something new they added and I do not paintball. It looks kinda shoddy from afar though. I do not know what paintball arenas SHOULD look like....but it looks like an art project a dad would do for his kids. Maybe I am wrong?

4. Putt putt: Ok....this was by far the most disappointing of the group. This has not changed AT ALL since I was a teen. It is really worn down and just looks bad. Almost no shade at all....so be prepared to roast like a chicken on the spit. Water is icky around the holes and it is just plain depressing.

5. Rookie track go karts: This is intended for the little tikes.....a TINY oval and the karts....well, let me just say I can walk beside these things. I am not looking for the indy 500, but if you are gonna make it so any human under 52 inches tall cannot ride the adult karts alone, you need to make it better. My 9 year old is just a tiny human....but she still wants to ride karts alone. The only way she can do that is with this track.

6. Adult go karts: They have updated the go karts in recent years and they are fun! Now, I still say they need to make all the karts go equal speed. It is NOT fair how some cars barely move and others literally zoom past you. Also, if your little human doesn’t want to ride the rookie karts, you are stuck on a double kart. THEY ARE ALL SLOW. You cannot be competitive nor really go fast. It loses the excitement for the adult who wants to enjoy the speed....especially if you have no one to sit out with the kiddo while you are a “big kid” on your own.

7. Game room: Three words people.... WHAT A RIPOFF! A snowball has a better chance in hell than they do getting me to use my money here. Dave and Busters is a better deal....and that is saying something!

8. Ice cream and eating: This is just MEH....nothing special and very overpriced. We brought food and kept it in a cooler in the car. Yes please.

BATHROOMS: The bathrooms at this place are absolutely....positively.....completely.... DISGUSTING! EWWWWWWW

Customer service: The kids they have working here are wound tighter than the girdle of a Baptist preachers wife at an all you can eat pancake breakfast fundraiser. Smiles anyone? NOPE. They lost their puppies on the way to work.

We continue to tolerate all the icky parts of this place because we can get an unlimited pass to ride the go karts. Plain. Simple. Easy. If the karts ever start going downhill....we will...

We were here for a company party. Everything started fine. The fun of the day was the bumper boats and go carts. We then went into the absolute horror of arcade. Our sons card fell between the Crack of one of the light games, we reported it to an employee that said he had to wait for a manager, ok no worries. Well standing next to the machine still waiting no response for 20 minutes. My partner went up as a young girl manager came in and finally was able to grab her attention and she said "I have to hunt them down somewhere" and then proceeds to help other people at the counter. Finally a guy came after we got his attention and after explaining again we finally got help. So we started newplayed games and I decided to go use out ice cream vouchers. We looked for seating and was unable to find a seat so we sat on the little tables where my cone broke and fell so I went and grabbed a plate right there to put it on and the same girl manager comes up to me and says "if you dont have a party you cant sit up here. Its for parties only." So we moved. Next theres more people sitting there and she walks by and doesnt say a thing to them. Well the lady disappointing situation was cashing out my partners sons tickets and the worker scanned his card he was 60 short of the basketball, we sent one of our kids to grab a card to use for the remaining. Well that same worker used our kids tickets on another kids order because he walked away! Another worker came over and she scanned the cards to prove the total was used. She went to get the attention of the manager and was too shy to speak up to him to get his attention. So a 3rd guy came and helped us and hooked them up because he was just as confused on what was going on..

This was a company family day but lesson learned... never again. That was the worst experience and can tell very lack of training and...

EDIT/UPDATE...Owner reached out and was very apologetic about the situation. He offered to make it right, but I don't live in the area. Still appreciate the offer from him. Updated my stars from 1 to 3.

Would give 0 stars if I could...

Visited yesterday for my son to ride on the kid go-karts for the first time ever. The person running it "flips the switch" for their "safety audio,"(which was flipped right before he walked onto the track) which my son wasn't able to listen to while trying to figure out how to work his seat belt. Worker decided to finally care and realize that my son had a large pillow on the back of the seat that a kid half his size had to use before him. The worker finally helped my son get his seat belt on, and my son missed all the instructions for the go-karts.

After a few laps, they were done racing but because my son missed the "safety audio" he didn't know about the break and crashed into another racer who had stopped and then crashed into the inside railing and finally stopped. The work apparently frustrated with having to deal with kids tosses the stop/yield sign and doesn't bother to check on my son. He proceeded to let the other racers out and again does NOTHING while my son struggles with the seat belt. I had to yell at him, "Are you going to help him or what?". He finally walks back towards my son and helps him out of the go-kart. I ask him, "If you hate your job so much, why don't you find a new job?" To which he responded joyfully with "Well its either this or fast food." He obviously took the job with the least responsibility.

Thankfully, due to this lazy, incompetent worker, my son and the other racers weren't hurt. I will never take my son here again and recommend to my in-laws to never visit this...