Roda Beach Resort Spa — Hotel in Municipality of Northern Corfu

(This has been edited to meet the character limit) For my full review please visit my facebook page the Truthful Traveller

Upon arrival the welcome was warm and we were immediately asked for 70 euros for some kind of tax that I couldn’t fathom. We will start with the rooms, our room was pretty dated , the floral curtains with matching lampshades are how I imagine Graham Nortons suit to be lined. The balcony was so small that unless you throw the table and chairs over the side , killing a helpless gardener below, you can’t shut the window shutters. However once the shutters were finally closed the room was darker than the latest Batman film so you could get a decent night’s sleep. It took moves inspired by Kasparov to manoeuvre around the room at the same time (3 of us) with chunky dark brown furniture seemingly littering the room. Think of Alan Partridge’s Travel Tavern, you get the idea. On the subject of children it’s a family resort so expect noise , and plenty of it, but that’s fine as we came equipped with headphones and a taser. We have a 9 year old who we fortunately managed to palm off with a Mancunian child for the entire week (happy days). The northern folk seemed to make up a large proportion of the holiday makers, along with the French. My daughter now also appears to like Oasis. The lunch and dinner buffet was certainly interesting, fairly long queues for the hot section (they need to have two identical hot stations at different ends to alleviate this regular congestion). There is a level of noise in this world that can only be generated by “all-inclusive buffets” and “atomic bombs”. I would take the atomic bomb option as with no soft furnishings to soak up the lingering drone of people with plates it felt like being in Heathrow terminal. Eating outside was less noisy but endured the company of the local wasp population. The Corfu wasps are a bit like British wasps , a little smaller but equally persistent and annoying , a bit like Tom Cruise. The food was ok, fresh but the meat all tasted the same and my vegetarian wife struggled a bit. I enjoyed better quality meat in Roda, she however didn’t. The pizza however was superb and so freshly cooked that it would become a popular choice as the week continued. The Pepsi max served from the various bars , is generally flatter than Shakira’s chest whilst warmer than the inside pocket of Boris Johnson’s tennis shorts. The white wine was simply revolting , I’ve tasted nicer fluid from the bottom of my bath. The beer was cold and fizzy but you would need to drink 187 cups of it before you felt any alcohol effect whatsoever and some people were clearly trying that approach. The ice creams, kebabs and pancakes were served along with chips all day and apart from the occasional queuing was a nice touch and very convenient. Our favourite place to eat was the beach restaurant which was open for breakfast and lunch, less options but less people to and the bacon roll I constructed was pretty tasty. The staff would also bring you drinks if you asked which was handy, unless you ask for tea in who case you end up with simply hot water and a teabag. Talking of staff, it’s a mixed bag. Some are quite pleasant (in particular our room cleaner and the spa staff) others completely ignore you, but more commonly the rest look at you as if you have eaten their children. At times they would acknowledge your request with a flicker of emotion , just enough for you to confirm they had not died on the spot. The short coastal walk to the town of Roda was interesting and dark. Using just the torch from my iPhone (which is the modern equivalent of using a candle) .It took around 10-15 mins and we managed to not break our spleen on the rocks or fall into the sea and drown which we considered a success. Now back to hotel, be warned the swimming pool contents are made from the same stuff as the sea. This means it is saltier than Hugh Hefner’s dressing gown. God forbid the stuff gets in your eyes it will feel like a Jellyfish has surgically removed both of...

(I later discovered, Greece offers stars on facilities not quality! Mind boggling)

This is based in UK half term, May 24 Be warned this is listed in Greece as 5 star, you pay a €10 per night per room tax, it's certainly not 5 star quality. Frankly it's a 3 star trying pass of as a 5 star, with everything feeling like it's set to cut as much cost as possible.

The negatives : (Food options and lack of quality, very long queues for food and drink, Lack of WiFi)

Food, there's something about all inclusive when the food is top notch it makes the stay so much better, the food really wasn't in general, unless you're looking for pizza and chips the meat if often that what I'd call Iceland specials, like a turkey joint, fruit options were often limited to chopped apple in a bowl with some orange juice as an example lowest end UK/German food not a lot of local offerings. To say it was repetitive within a few days of our 7 days, is an understatement, not to mention the lack of quality, either going from ultra prep made and salty to no flavour at all, the food might pass in a 3 star, the hotel is claiming to be 5 star, at best I'd say a OK 3 star. Availability of the service, due to the lack of staff this is compounded by a main restaurant big enough perhaps for a hotel half the size, expect long queues for certain popular items when it's busy.

As a note, I noticed a number of people on restaurants in the town eating out, this could just be coincidence or simply down to the lack of quality of food at the hotel or the ridiculous at times queues for food.

Queues were awful at times, often wait 25 minutes to get a drink (max of two) The Main bar was NOT open as listed (10am - 1am) it was open later and closed at 5pm, which added queues to the other bars especially as the bar below opened at 5.30pm if lucky. The afternoon is generally a lot quieter.

People would wander around the gardens and use loungers in the hotel and on the beach from other hotels using facilities - staff ignored this. This hotel suffered from the towel issue, empty sunbeds with towels, there are signs but it's not enforced by staff. There is no security or it's non existent.

Wifi Non existent in the rooms, a WiFi signal is shown but you cannot connect, reception say this will be fixed next year as a special permit is needed from the government? Of all the strange stories I've heard that's a new one.

Reception (For €50 deposit) will provide a Vodafone dongle.. Small issue, Vodafone has pretty much no signal, the dongles (we had 2 in 2 different rooms, same issue) obtaining an maximum speed of 2mbps, OK for a browse but not so good if you've kids or want anything remotely non 3rd world, luckily free roaming is provided by most carriers, but as it's another false advertisement I thought I'd mention it. Streaming TV or YouTube is a non event.

I did raise this with customer relations at the reception and the next day we discussed this, not a lot could be fixed in regards to my complaints over night.

The positives: The staff generally were polite despite being overwhelmed, especially the lady on the crepe station at the beach who while polite and chatty with children was somehow a lot quicker than every other member of staff. The hotel exterior is well presented and maintenance guys are constantly working on the upkeep of appearance. Our rooms were cleaned well daily and fresh towels provided. Great Location a walk to the town is 5 minutes down the beach (By road it's not really safe walking especially for those with kids, it's like an A road in the UK, no paths and limited lighting at night) rooms are OK, I've stayed at a number of 5 star hotels and this is about the same as the 3 (4 at a push) in regards to facilities and quality.

The Gyros, Ice cream and Crepe stations despite having long queues actually are not too bad, probably the highlight of the food, which is a shame in itself.

I travel a lot and I ask myself often when writing a review, would I choose to stay here again? And my answer to this hotel is a...

We stayed here as a family of four with two children aged 5 & 8 between 15th-22nd August, the hight of the school summer holidays and we had a fantastic time! I’ve tried to break down the key points below for ease:

Sun loungers by pool: This was really the only negative of the holiday. As others have mentioned there is a serious shortage of loungers by the pool compared to the number of guests staying at the hotel. As you would expect, guests from some geographies are up at 5am to ‘reserve’ the premium loungers so personally we didn’t even bother trying as after 6:30am all the premium loungers were gone. Plenty of blue loungers available but you will have to sit further away from the pool, which is not great if you have little ones you need to keep an eye on in the water. After 8:30am, forget about getting a seat at all. Everyday we saw new arrivals come down to the pool after breakfast (10am ish) only to end up disgruntled with no where to sit. so you will need to get up early I’m afraid! We are more beach people and got up at 6am to get the front row on the left side of the beach, but you could go to the beach much later and still get seats, again they may not be right on the front, but still plenty of places to sit.

I would suggest this hotel would benefit from the 2hr rule that many other European hotels have, where towels are removed after two hours if loungers are vacant. Like others, we also witnessed empty ‘reserved’ loungers through to 2-3pm in the afternoon.

Food: Absolutely fantastic, we are quite healthy eaters, so worry about ‘buffet food’ but I would class this more of a world buffet, all cooked fresh in front of you, so yes there are some queues for some items, but I never waited more than 2-3 mins even in the massive queue for Lobster one night. The stable stone baked Pizza oven was always a hit. Kids buffet has pasta, Bolognese, chicken etc all child friendly, so minimal sauces etc, even the fussiest of eaters will certainly find something.

The inside restaurant gets quite busy, but loads of tables out on the terrace, which we personally thought was far better than sitting inside. Having dinner overlooking the sea and mountains was excellent every day, we also found it much cooler than inside.

Make sure you book your Al’a carte restaurants the day you arrive as they get very busy.

Rooms: We stayed in a standard family room and Initially, we found the room to be very basic and was a bit disappointed, but actually we only spent maybe an hour or two a day in the room, so just be prepared that the rooms are a bit run down, the tv only has one English channel (French 24 hr news, overdubbed in English.) but they are cleaned and refreshed everyday to an excellent standard, which you don’t get in some of the best UK hotels.

Wifi: Very hit and miss.

Staff: Everyone we spoke to, especially the cleaners and the waiting staff were very friendly, Re some of the reviews noting potential rudeness, having witnessed how some guests speak to the staff I too would be pretty rude back, a please, thank you & good morning go a long way with anybody.

Reception: Always seems to be a bit chaotic due the volume of people checking in & out. however staff were pleasant. I would note that rooms are rarely ready at 14:00 check in, we were told to go for lunch / a wander round the hotel initially, our room was ready about 15:30. so I would maybe think about flight times when booking. there were always a swathe of guests in reception that had arrived at some silly hour of the morning and had to wait until late afternoon to get into their rooms, but I guess you get that anywhere given the Easy Jet flight times.

Overall I would say this is a comfortable European 4 star (Different to English rating system) to gain the 5 star mark I would say they need to address the sun lounger issue and give the family rooms a bit of an update. But overall we had an excellent holiday, with beautiful views, great food and drink and a nice relaxed atmosphere. I would...