Microtel Inn & Suites by Wyndham Hamburg — Hotel in Tilden Township

Room is very nice, despite the peeling wall covering. Great flat screen TV. Young lady at the desk was friendly and quick with check-in. And the in-house pub had some great munchies and a good microbrew on tap. And it's certainly conveniently-located!!!

And then, about 8 PM, the Karaoke started. Now keep in mind that I was on a third-floor room. With closed windows. As I write this, my mattress is actually shaking from the bass. There have been at least two drunken-fights in the parking lot. And I think a domestic dispute that involved a Border Collie. Lots of screaming. Though the collie seemed quiet quiet and contemplative despite the hootananny going on around it. Maybe it was an Australian Shepherd.

I will have to presume that I just booked the Studio 54 Suite? Because every room can't be this bad. Or maybe it can be? It's a small hotel. That's the "Micro" part, I suppose. Or perhaps I can assume that the massive pounding music is supposed to be a feature, kind of like having a magic fingers mattress and not having to feed it quarters? My water glass is dancing like I'm in an Explorer with a T-Rex sneaking up on me. On the other hand, there is a nice little clock radio by the bed and if I wanted to listen to bad 1980's heavy-metal sung by hordes of drunken linemen and Steelers fans, I could have turned on the radio and kind of tuned it badly. It would have sounded better.

Wait, I think I hear Crazy Train starting to play! God knows I can't get enough Ozzie the Bat Eater when I have to get up at 6AM and head off to business meetings. After driving for 11 hours. Yeah, what I look for in a hotel is one that has a built-in sound system that resonates through every inch of the edifice until almost midnight!

Did I mention that Dokken music also travels through pillows? Even those held tightly over one's ears? And who the heck does Karaoke to Dokken anyway? You can't read words like ARGHHHHHH and AIYEEEEEE off of a Karaoke screen? So does that mean that the guests in Hotel Microhell here have memorized that stuff? Should I expect to see someone dressed up as Marilyn Manson dropping some quarters into the hallway candy dispenser to get a Zagnut bar before heading off to some post-Karaoke slumber? Or maybe a post-Karaoke Karaoke party? I wonder if my luck will be that bad. Perhaps the welfare recipients belting out forgettable Anthrax singles don't have to get up early in the morning... and they'll be using the Krako Stereos in their Camaros in the parking lot to continue their revelries into the week hours. The mind only boggles!

Regardless, the hotel would be fine if it wasn't built on top of a giant, pulsating, noisy ersatz Tokyo nightclub c. 1989. Oh and some news for those of you in Hamburg, PA? EVEN THE DAMN JAPANESE DON'T DO KARAOKE ANY MORE. They decided Karaoke was lame 23 Superbowls ago, to use a metric that they may understand here in very trendy and with-it Hamburg. That's 23 years, for those who don't habla.

Anyway... Now that I've spent 20 minutes writing my little review of this Best-Buy-Stereo-Department with mattresses... I've managed to get 20 minutes closer to the time when the Boom Box that represents 1/3 of the first floor will be mercifully silenced, at least according to the unapologetic goth at the front desk (she is very nice). That is unless they do encores. Can't wait to hear what an "Alice in Chains" encore last cal solo by a drunk coalminer sounds like. Bet it sounds better than the original...

Oh and there's lots of hot water and the coffee machine in the room is nice! And I like it when the vending machine has not run out of PayDay bars. So that does merit one star on their rating wall of fame. So perhaps "hated it" is too strong. I liked the ZagNut bar. A lot.

So headbang on, you wonderful noisy, reverberating people from Microtel! Next time I'll stay at a nice, quiet Motel 6. The gunfire and domestic disputes there normally are over by about 9:30. And generally don't involve sheepdog. ...

Ok. I must say I've stayed at this location at least 20 times. It was always simple but clean and friendly staff. It has good location right off highway close to Cabelas,Walmart and many dining and gas stations options. Check in is 3pm we arrived about 130pm . I asked if we could check. We couldn't ok np but the guy a man 30s I'm guessing.curly hair and mustache (hope he's not Manger but he might be) basically no manners or hospitality. Every thing he said was condescending or sarcastic. He acted like the simplest question was great annoyance. He was very lethargic. So np he was rude but no biggie. We went out came back about 4pm checked in a very nice lady and a guy she was training. We go to room was supposed to have fold out couch even picture of couch when booking. Room is identical except no couch. There is a matt on window I put on floor to sleep on. Still np I don't complain. It has iron burn on it. The sink has make up stains. The connection door has no door nob and has door stops keeping it close. No ice bucket no coffee machine no hangers or extra pillow. No plastic cups. I went down to my car and coming back in asked if I could have some plastic cups. The woman and traine are like problem I can take some off paper coffee cups. Then curly hair mustache guy reappeared from back makes face repeat s what I say in sarcastic manner looks at me like I'm crazy (most hotels have plastic cups in bathrooms and with ice bucket. I guess mustache a hotel employee doesn't know that). So I'm a few feet away and he says obnoxiously to lady ."he has bottle of water why does he need cups ". I would like to say that no time was I or my father rude or make any complaint s about anything. At must I asked Simple questions. We were treated rudely for no reason and the room quality was poor. The place is not super expensive but we are not rich and we Paid good money and have been good customers. The rude employee is what bothered us the most. I hate rude behavior in a man. It's really unexplainable in...

TWO Managers of the hotel stole from us!!! And the cameras of the hotel are fake!! $850 of belongings were stolen from our room a few weeks ago (September) and The Manager Steven admitted to being in our room and being in possession of certain items missing/stolen to police, owner (Marta), and other staff. Celeste is the old manager of the hotel and she has since been fired. Confirmed by police 9/18/23 dealing with our case who spoke to owner - the cameras are fake!!! They are set up to “deter theft” but ultimately do not work and ALL the employees have knowledge of this!!! Any room key can be accessed and anything can be stolen from a room without proof. Pappy T’s, the bar, is connected to the hotel by an unlocked door. Children and families stay there AND live there, with a busy bar open late hours of the night, and the cameras don’t work???

The Manager at the time of the incident, Celeste, was fired and the other individual who now is claiming to “only stand outside” of the room, Steven, is now the Manager of the hotel. If you only stood outside of the room how did you end up with an item(s) from our list of stolen belongings??? Why does the story keep changing??? Steven was specifically one of the individuals pointing the finger at Celeste for being a thief and ends up with a new job! Case still ongoing, going forward to court and upper management contact information was acquired. Marta is the owner of this specific location. Corporate has been in contact and hospitality management case opened and ongoing. $850 of...