Cuisine en Locale — Local services in Somerville

We've seen several shows at this venue (including the infamous and ever-awesome Amanda Palmer) and not had time to eat dinner, but since it was a special occasion (our 10th anniversary) we made special arrangements to try the "fresh local fare." When we arrived we found most of the seats taken but we snagged a high top and I approached a waitress to ask if the high top had a server or should we go to the bar. She told me that we were in her section and that she would be right with us, so we waited a few minutes and she did get to us eventually. (I've been in the restaurant industry for over two decades so at this point we were very understanding.) She brought us a menu and we immediately decided on dinner and drinks and gave her our complete order. She then completely forgot us for over twenty minutes. We watched her wait on other tables nearby and then finally waved her down, at which point she said she had been asking all her tables if they had ordered our drink order (we were watching, so this was obviously not the case - mostly she spent her time chatting with her friends at the bar), then comped our drinks (thanks?) and brought us waters about five minutes later. Another five minutes and our drinks finally arrived (if you're counting, that's half an hour for two margaritas), and she said she felt bad so they were bringing us a dessert on the house... ummmm, what about our dinners?!? Clearly flustered, she re-took our dinner order and we watched her go to the cook station (a catering station set up in the dining area) and plate our food (this took all of one minute), WITH the comped dessert we never asked for in the first place. She brought the dinners WITH the dessert, and left. So we flagged her down again to ask for silverware so we could actually eat. Just... wow. The food was good but not great. The rice and beans dominated the plate and the "fresh local" pumpkin was heavily overseasoned. The lamb enchiladas were cold. The people plating the food seemed agitated and the entire scene was unprofessional. In the meantime we missed most of the opening act to the show we paid to see in the first place. Another waitress (possibly a manager from her demeanor) noticed us trying to yet again get the attention of our server so we could pay and go downstairs to the show, and while the excuses were plenty it's easy to say that it is the worst dinner out we've had in twenty years. They did comp some of the check (I'm not counting the flan dessert they gave us, because we hadn't asked for it, wouldn't have ordered it, and it wasn't great). I would have preferred to pay full price and have had decent service!

Hoping we could get a decent drink downstairs, we caught the last bit of the opening act (Bonnie Bishop, who was amazing!- wish I could have seen the whole set after paying over $50 for the show!) and tried again at the downstairs bar. I ordered a drink off the menu that was listed as "whatever we decide to make you... ahahahaha" thinking it would be adventurous and fun. The bartender said she didn't have the ingredients for that... ummm... what? It says you make it up?!? How do you not? Okay, at this point, not surprised. So I switched to their version of a screwdriver (they called it a "Monkey Wrench") which was terrible. Apparently they think just by adding more and more alcohol it becomes a good drink. It does not. Thank goodness we finally got to see the main show (Bob Schneider - who is awesome in all ways). We are HUGE Bob Schneider fans so our night was redeemed in spite of everything this venue threw up against us. The sound quality was just okay but very quickly Bob's sound engineers were able to adjust for that so after the first two songs the sound was perfect. I've attended other shows here where the sound engineers were less competent and so that's hit or miss depending on the show. If they booked another show I was dying to see I maybe would go back for the show only, but I've completely given up on the venue for food and drinks. The service is...

This review is regarding the restaurant Gitana, presented by Cuisine en locale AND inside Cuisine en locale's building. This is not a review of the catering business. FIRST, off when we entered it felt like falling down the hipster rabbit hole, no really, Somerville has a lot of hipsters but on Thursday nights they must all end up here. Second, when the hostess greeted us she made it clear to us that when we were finished with our meal she "would usher us out" because there was limited space due to an indie rock show that night (she also made shooing gestures with her hands).

Next we sat down and looked at the drinks menu. My girlfriend got a glass of wine and I got a beer. The drinks came out. My girlfriend got what amounted to about a 3oz pour. We let it go.

Next, since it was a self described tapas restaurant we ordered should small plates - a dozen oysters, chamizo cheese, almonds, grilled vegetables, and tomato bread. It was all awful! They didn't have horseradish for the oysters, plus they weren't washed, but gritty. The cheese tasted and looked like it was bought at Walmart (rubbery). The almonds were wet. Yes wet! The vegetables were drenched in olive oil. Lastly the bread on the tomato bread was a damn toasted hoagie roll, and the tomatoes tasted like they were canned.

This meal sucked. We ate the oysters (because we were starving), tasted everything else, and promptly lost our appetites. Make sure to recommend this place to someone...

This is also a review of Gitana.

After trying several unlabeled doors, stairs walled with floor tiles led to an extremely loud, dimly lit, windowless chamber with all the ambiance of a 1990s fraternity house basement. The walls were brick with giant plate mirrors lit with Christmas light strings and track lights. In addition to the intense noise reflected by those surfaces there was a grimy old stereo system blaring music that consisted of a man or woman screeching in an unidentifiable language while banging an acoustic guitar, a sound similar to stepping on a pile of cats.

While waiting for a table we were careful to cover our $12 cocktails (served in mason jars, so hip) with napkins to protect them from the swarms of fruit flies buzzing around our faces. The 15 minute wait stretched into an hour even though they added extra tables for people who came in long after us. But honestly I was glad they did that as it helped me to convince my friends to leave and find a cleaner, quieter and less vermin-infested...