Funk Coffee+Food — Restaurant in Mount Barker

Sallie, the Coffee Queen of Australia.

Alright, listen up, y’all—I just had the best damn coffee of my life at this little slice of heaven called Funk Coffee in Australia. Walked in, jet-lagged, dehydrated, and more confused than a kangaroo in a snowstorm. That’s when I met Sallie, the caffeine goddess.

Now, I don’t know what kind of dark sorcery she pulled out of a Harry Potter book, but she made me a coffee so pretty I almost felt bad drinking it—like a work of art. Had one of those fancy lil’ milk designs on top that made me feel like I should be wearing a beret or something. And let me tell you, it went down smoother than an Aussie surfer on a Saturday morning.

But Sallie? Absolute legend. Polite, patient, and probably trying not to laugh as I asked if they do “normal coffee.” (They don’t. Australia is out here flexing with things like flat whites and long blacks—which, side note, sounds like categories on a very different kind of website).

Anyway, I downed that coffee like it was a life-saving serum, and I swear I almost proposed to Sallie on the spot. If you’re ever in Australia, go to Funk Coffee. Ask for Sallie. Tell her the dumb American sent you. And for the love of God, don’t ask for a...

I work locally so go here often. I took two coffees back over a period of a few months. The first time the coffee was watery and tasteless, however, the girl was learning and I apologised profusely. The second time they got my order wrong. I mentioned that their cappuccino's were consistently more like lattes and the owner said the only difference between a latte and cappuccino is the chocolate sprinkled on top! I had to chuckle. The owner then said they wouldn't make coffees for me anymore! If a small business can't take on feedback and is happy to lose a regular customer who goes there weekly, you have to wonder. I went to the OTR instead and the coffee was...

I stopped by this cafe for breakfast and was pleasantly surprised! The food came out quickly and was beautifully presented. The avocado on the sourdough was fresh and the sides. Coffee was strong and smooth just how I like it.

The staff were friendly and attentive without being overbearing and the atmosphere was relaxed with a nice balance of music. There’s a good mix of indoor and outdoor seating and everything looked clean and well kept.

The only reason it’s not a full 5 stars is that the portion size was a little on the smaller side for the price. Still a great way to start the day I’d...