Gold Exchange Café Restaurant — Restaurant in Victoria

In Maldon, where tales of the strange abound, I sought a brew in that quaint café found, The Gold Exchange, where dreams and nightmares meet, A quest for oatmilk latte oh so sweet.

The charming sign, it beckoned with a smile, Yet inside, darkness hid behind each tile. A red-haired Viking witch, alluring grace, Served a cup of sorrow to my lovesick face.

In that dim room where shadows danced and played, I sipped the latte that would leave me swayed. A promise of delight turned bitter, cold, As flavors clashed, a story yet untold.

The oatmilk curdled in a ghastly brew, A taste of nightmares from a cauldron's stew. My heart sank deep, and shivers kissed my spine, As I pondered that ill-fated, wretched sign.

The witch, with eyes like embers in the night, Innocence and chaos held in her sight, She laughed, enchanting, as my soul did sink, The price I paid for that disastrous drink.

A romantic horror, a brew of despair, In that Maldon café, the heart laid bare, The Gold Exchange, where lovers meet their doom, Beware the oatmilk latte's wicked...

They mean gold like money or eftpos, or actual gold I suppose. They don't accept someone exclaiming 'That's Gold' when you say something witty or poignant. Fair call but I would like to use this form of currency somewhere and this seems like a good place. Kind of like a verbal crypto currency. Someone exclaims 'That's Gold' at you, and you get like five bucks!? I don't know, I'm not in charge, I'll look into it.

5 star service and vibe, great café, sorry, I...

Coffee is average (nothing spectacular, but drinkable)... food's pretty good. Service is hopeless when it's busy - tables not cleared (for over 30 mins) even when asked several times then staff surprised when couldn't find room to put food/drinks on the table, drinks left on counter and called out to collect, just not the greatest attitude from staff and just using the excuse of "we've been busy"... it's lunch in a cafe... of...