Bar Chez Maurice — Restaurant in Saint-Lazare

So I was on a quest for this legendary drink, the “Golden Idol.” Supposedly it gives you this feeling of like, total bliss if your brave enough to drink it, and it led me to a place that people only talk about in whispers: The Serpent’s Kiss. Getting there was a whole thing. I had to cross the Îles aux tourtes bridge over a treacherous river, and then fight through the downtown Saint Lazare jungle where honking cars are like the war cries of some forgotten tribe.

The entrance was super low-key, just this little carving of a snake eating its own tail. Inside, the air was thick with the smell of spices and old booze, it was really cool. The lighting was all moody and made these long shadows dance on the walls, and they had artifacts from all over the place. I was half expecting a poison dart to shoot out of the wall or something. Behind the bar was this guy who could only be the high priest of the place, he had a grizzled beard and these eyes that looked like they'd seen a thousand happy hours. He was polishing a glass like it was a sacred relic. “I seek the Golden Idol,” I said, my voice was barely a whisper. The bartenders eyes narrowed. “Many have sought it,” he rumbled, his voice like rocks grinding together. “Few have been worthy.” He then gave me a bunch of trials. First, I had to figure out a menu full of riddles. Then I had to pick the right glass from a whole bunch of chalices and goblets and tiki mugs. Any one of them could have been like, a poison cup or something. I chose… wisely.

Making the drink was a whole ritual. The bartender moved with this real precise, almost mystical grace, he was combining rare liquors from unlabeled bottles and muttering stuff in a language I didn’t know, and garnishing it with a plant I'm pretty sure is extinct. The final thing was this glowing, golden drink that practically hummed with its own energy.

I took a sip. Woww. The world just dissolved into flavor. It was like they opened the Ark of the Covenant, but instead of melting my face off it just melted away all my anxiety. I felt total euphoria, invincible even. I understood the secrets of the universe, I probably could have outrun that giant boulder..But the moment didnt last long. Out of the corner of my eye I see this other adventurer dude, wearing a cheap fedora, eyeing my drink with some serious jealousy. I knew I had to get out of there. I grabbed my precious drink and made a run for it, dodging a flying peanut and just barely missing a swinging light. I burst out into the night with the taste of victory and aged rum on my lips.

The Serpent’s Kiss is not for the faint of heart, its a perilous journey. But for those brave enough to face the trials, the reward is definately worth it. Five stars. Just make sure you...

We thought it would be a good idea to have dinner here, seeing as we were seeing a show. BIG MISTAKE ! We were 6 adults and had the following meals. 1 Classic Burger, 1 T MEX Burger, 2 Philly Steaks, 1 Smoked Meat and 1 Sub. An entree of Nachos was also ordered. The nachos arrived cold and the cheese was hard as a rock. It took over 50 minutes for us to get our food. All 6 of us agreed that this was probably the WORST meal we have ever had. Don't know how you can not cook a hamburger properly but they managed to do so. The philly steaks had obviously been microwaved as the lettuce and tomatoes were piping hot ?? The smoked meat sandwiches, well,the rye bread was TOASTED ?? A poutine was ordered and the fellow who ordered it could have sworn that it came from COSTCO!! Will never ever return for lunch OR dinner, would NOT RECOMMEND. Only gave it 1 star, because I had to give...

I went there for the first time for the English Comedy Show. I had to go upstairs to order my food and bring it to my table myself. I had the bambam shrimp with added fries. The shrimp were excellent. Nice, light crispy breading in a mildly spicy sauce. I took the 8 portion of shrimp. They were large and perfectly cooked. The fries were OK, but dry and only just warm. I think they were sitting around for a while. There was no table service for drinks at the show. I had to go to the bar to order my drink. The show was pretty good. My personal opinion was that the opening acts were actually better than the headliner. My companions shared my opinion too. The MC was very good. Very entertaining show at a reasonable price. I would...