Funiculi Funicula Massa Lubrense — Restaurant in Massa Lubrense

I am usually cautious of restaurants near hotels, as they are known to be pricey an not necessarily the best, but the closeness to the marina suggested that they should have at least some experience preparing seafood, right? Wrong. I was that weird kid who asked for Frutti Di Mare instead of French Fries - and up to this day I still love sea food. That being said, never in my life have I eaten sea food this bad and lovelessly prepared. In defense of the restaurant - they do mention in the fine print on the last page that if fresh seafood should not be available, they'll take 0815 frozen food. Well, I guess we feel victim to this. The fish and octopus were dry and tasted like they had been sitting unfrozen on a counter for quite a while. The food looked like it had been simply thrown on the plate. Everything was lovelessly and effortless prepared. No non-edible parts were removed. No spices to support the flavor were added, it felt like a do-it-yourself meal. While my girlfriend's noodles with clams at least looked better, we've been definitely been in better restaurants during out trip to Massa. She tried some of my food... And only a few hours later we both ended up with in our hotel with stomach cramps.

The hefty price tag added insult to injury.

The pizzas on the other tables looked fairly decent, but we can't comment on them. What we can comment on are the fish, octopus and scampi - and we can only advice you to avoid them...

I give it one star for good pasta. But service was awful, and food not good enough to make up for that. The waiter didn’t like tourists or maybe Americans. My wife and I dined there tonight. We tried the polite thing of ordering in Italian, just reading from the menu and the waiter seemed offended. I speak French and she speaks Spanish so it wasn’t like we were butchering their language. Then, he just seemed annoyed that we asked for his recommendation on dishes, and THEN when I was done, because we hadn’t seen him since he dropped off the food, I put my soiled napkin on the empty plate. The plate had nothing in it. No sauce left as I ate it all. And he, proceeded to Emily Post me and tell me, “Madam, you do not put your napkin on the plate.” I never heard that. I worked in 5-star restaurants in NYC in college, and never saw anyone blink an eye, let alone have a problem with that. Why would you, if it’s not a bowl of soup?? And it’s not a fine dining restaurant. People had on tee-shirts and shorts; some old man went around to tables and danced with locals; and there was a dog roaming around the dining room. At any rate, after the etiquette lesson, he then ignored us and refused to bring our check. We had to ask two other people. Definitely would avoid if you’re a tourist or American. So many other great restaurants...

We were on a boat trip to Capri and stopped here for lunch. This is one of those spots that you dream of when thinking of having a fish meal with the Mediterranean Sea saltiness soaring through the nostrils giving your food and wine another dimension. Overlooking Massa Lubrense Bay listening to the waves crashing on the shore.... if this is what you're looking for... go for it! The food is excellent. Reflecting the true nature of the best products of South Italian. We had a celiac person along and they didn't even blink and produced an ad-hoc menu (it might seem nothing exceptional in other places but in south Italy if you're celiac you have a very limited choice) whereas the proposed menu was even more mouthwatering than the normal one. Fresh, fresh, fresh.... light motive of this experience. The table ordered both cooked and raw fish and each dish was done to expectations. Nothing fancy or high class but that’s probably what makes of Funiculi Funicula a place to relax, enjoy company, friends, and family. I loved the fact that while sitting on the outside patio it was still a smoking free place. Pricewise, extremely affordable. 6 people I spent only 240 Euro! Inclusive of, and I can’t even remember how many, jars of white wine with peaches (Vino e percoche) We...