Chinese Delight — Restaurant in England

Imagine you step through a time-tunnel back to the early 1980’s, now imagine you’ve appeared in front of a Chinese restaurant that everyone thinks is modern and ‘with it’. Now imagine the various bumps, humps and steps between the car park and the door is really quite the challenge, like the obstacle course on ‘The Krypton Factor’, it’s like the owners want you to face-plant onto concrete at least once on the way to their door. You step inside, over a little bridge with a pond underneath filled with carp, no really, this isn’t a knowing, post-modern pastiche, it’s real. The ridiculously over the top brandy bottle selection in front of you is only matched by the giant, on-display, 80’s era work PC near the toilets. Then the best bit, the rest of the place genuinely looks like the set of an 80’s Jackie Chan film, it’s like a 12 year old’s Pinterest mood board of every Chinese themed film ever. You’ll expect the chairs are made of balsa wood so they can be easily broken across the back of a moustachioed extra in a karate outfit, knocking a tray of drinks from the hands of a confused looking waiter -you’re on the set of a martial arts film! The...

Okay, I'll take you on a culinary tour of what I experienced when ordering from Chinese Delight 1/4 aromatic crispy duck - special charcoal duck, microwaved until dry. Aroma was "burned" Salt and pepper wings - five sad little wings in a too large box with a spoonful of diced onions. If you are a fan of chicken wings, don't order these; they will make you sad

Chicken chow mein - inedible. Small box of sad thin egg noodles, very dry. Suspect microwaved. Chicken and veg was dire - about a quarter of a chicken breast in an insipid thin broth and a gaggle of unappetising vegetables

Egg fried rice - had never met an egg nor been fried. Tasted like the microwave stuff from the supermarket

Chips - frozen ones banged in a deep fat fryer. Steak cut. Rubbish.

Curry sauce - yeah this was alright, but it's hard to mess up when the instructions are: add powder, add water, boil

All in all, a true feast of mediocrity can be yours for the bargain price of £26. And they don't deliver either. Please, take your business elsewhere, Chinese Delight was a rollercoaster of beige proportions from...

The building is wonderful, it has a very opulent and ornate Asian style and has plenty of parking. Though it is quite chilly, so dress warmly for your visit. The food is the normal Chinese menu with no surprises but still nice. I went at lunch time on a Thursday which is 12 to 2pm and was quite popular with two thirds of the restaurant full. Our waiter was efficient but hurried and a little abrupt. The chap who brought our food out was lovely, very chatty, joking and making sure we had what we needed. As we were a later booking so half way through our main we were asked for dessert orders as the chef was about to leave. We were grateful he managed to fit in our banana and pineapple fritters before he left! Overall a nice meal but the place just didn't have any atmosphere and apart from the one member of staff nobody really smiled or were very friendly though they were efficient and it was chilly. Not a wonderful experience but not bad either just quite mediocre which is a shame because the building...