Minnow — Restaurant in London

We have walked past Minnow several times and not gone in due to how busy it always is, but this time we booked for a birthday breakfast. There was one member of staff who was really friendly and happily brought some water for our dog - the rest of the staff just seemed so unhappy and stressed, we all work in hospitality ourselves so recognise that this is often down to issues at a higher level / staff cuts / understaffing - I hope they’re okay.

It took about 20 minutes for us to ask someone to take our order, and a further 25 minutes after eating for us to get someone’s attention to ask for the bill. Food came quickly, but after seeing the quality of the food I’m not surprised.

My partner got avocado and poached eggs on toast - £14 for two small, undercooked poached eggs on a charred piece of thin sourdough, and a dollop of pre-packaged guacamole in the middle? She barely ate it but didn’t want to complain as the table next to us had complained also and the staff already seemed on edge. I got just the eggs on toast and the eggs were undercooked again and tiny.

It’s such a shame as this place has a huge monopoly of Clapham Common - and could be a great opportunity for good quality food, coffee and service. It looks to me like it’s going the way a lot of places are, where people higher up are trying to suck as much money out of it as possible, with little care for the actual staff that are working there or customer...

Worst roast I’ve ever had . I cannot begin to explain how disappointed I am to have paid £19 for the most disgusting sirloin of beef in the world. It was extremely tough, chewy , dry and cold. After eating only half of one piece , my jaw was actually aching . My friend ordered this too and also thought that it was absolutely disgusting. Even in the photo , it doesn’t look appetising whatsoever. The potatoes and Yorkshire pudding were the only things that were half decent , however , we only got four individual pieces of potatoes. Imagine paying £19 for the most horrendous beef and for only four pieces of potatoes!! The gravy was also disgusting , it was extremely watery and lacking flavour , we all thought it tasted like salty water. The parsnips also weren’t nice , they tasted severely under cooked . If I could give this place zero stars , I would’ve. After my meal I was fuming at how horrible it was especially for how pricey it is , I complained only to get a half arsed response in return. Never coming back and I do not recommend anyone to ever come here. Anyone who says that Minnow has the best roasts in London are clearly lying or they don’t...

We visited Minnow on a Thursday evening, and ordered a couple of cocktails (The Widow and The Clapham Sect) - both came with a little background story, and were indeed very tasty. We ordered some crispy chicken skins to graze on, although found these to contain an abundance of excess oil, which completely masked any flavour in the skins or aioli - these were left after a small bite.

The mains of charred lamb rump arrived approximately one hour after ordering and were less charred and more cremated. The taste of burn overwhelmed the palate and, as such, anything else on the plate was made redundant. A small positive was found in the tenderstem brocolli with chilli and the beetroot and goats cheese sides.

Dessert was a lavender creme Catalan - a chilled lump of lavender flavoured double creme topped with an overly burned top - again left after one mouthful each.

The wine menu was distinctly average, and the meal was poor value for money, unaided by long waits and the general feeling of disorganisation. A shame, as the menu offered great potential. Will we return? Maybe for a cocktail, but...