No5 Dining & Lounge — Restaurant in London

Atmosphere is good all round. It was a tad packed, but that's to be expected.

The starters was nice we went as a group so we had a bit of everything and mixed and matched. We had to start boneless wings, crispy calamari & the duck bon bons. They were all nice espeically the crispy calamari I'm a fan of calamari and these was on point, easy 9/10. The wings were okay nothing special & the duck bon bons were banging first time trying them to, lovely. Starters came quick, cocktails came quicker (of course), but then our mains was a mess (time wise) we didn't get our mains until a hour and 20mins after our starters, we was all starving. Also the cocktail lady who brings over the cocktails was so rude. We expressed to her that we had been waiting for over a hour for our food after she brang our 3rd or 4th round of cocktails and she said "I don't deal with the food that is nothing to do with me" absolutely unprofessional and rude. She could of grabbed the attention of our food waiter or even said "its not my area but I'll chase it up for you" anything else apart from what she said, absolutely unprofessional. The mains FINALLY came I had the lamb ribs with chips & also me and a friend went dutch & tried the lamb chops, people around me had steak and some other bits it looked okay but feedback from them was "average". However my ribs were lovely, chips was decent chips, the chops was nice and meaty, seasoned and cooked well. However for almost £35 for 4 lamb chops I was expecting them to be accompanied with something other than some garden leaves. Rice/Chips/Bread... ANYTHING. A Few of us also got Mac & Cheese which we all regretted, at first taste when piping hot it's okay, soon as it cools down its horrid really hard leathery cheese, bland cheese sauce inside it was just cheap and not nice at all... I think I covered everything. Service was crap so we removed the service charge when the management asked why we told him he apologised and understood. However I did completely forget to complain about that rude cocktail waiter, she was also a big reason of the service charge being withdrawn. But yes all around, service was bad, starters were lovely, mains are average my ribs were nice doe so maybe it depends on what you get, atmosphere was good. Oh yh parking, the parking is horrible if you go friday/weekend.

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As a regular here, I’ll never be returning again. Start off by saying we were told it’s a half hour wait and we waited 1.5 hours before being given a table at 12am- fair enough it was busy I understand. The dancers then came right to our table which led to group of 10 desperate men running after them to get a better look and record them. They were customers so understandably can’t blame them. But the female staff dancers noticed me and my sister hiding our faces and putting our heads on the table literally to avoid being recorded by men and a professional camera man making us extremely uncomfortable, they stood there for 5 minutes dancing on our heads when they could have moved anywhere- even to the Dj deck where there’s more space. Management fix this please not fair on other customers who just wanna enjoy their shisha. We had a large group of men screaming recording with flashlight on our heads for 5 minutes. Most embarrassing moment I’ve ever experienced. After ordering my shisha, 7/8 minutes in and the metal ball and cap went flying off and my shisha started tasting like pure rubber after that. So I smoked it for less than 10 minutes as the taste became unbearable even after they tried to fix it- not even being fussy it went from tasting like lemon to pure rubber and burnt. Paid £100 for 2 shishas that we smoked for 20 minutes. This was genuinely my favourite dark leaf lounge in London as they had the flavour vibes everything on point normally. Staff saw we didn’t smoke the messed up shisha not once did they say shall we compensate you or reduce the bill. Disappointed, never left somewhere feeling so annoyed. Waited so long and we were the first out those doors. Annoyingly loud music too that you can feel inside your chest you have to text your friends to be able to speak to them even if you’re sat next...

Avoid this place. I had a Saturday night booking for two people and encountered several issues, one of which was quite serious.

While the music was enjoyable, the food quality (particularly the meat and prawns) was extremely poor, overcooked and went cold so quickly. There is NO WAY they can be calling themselves a “fine dining” restaurant on google and charging those prices. From the moment we arrived, we were rushed by the servers to order and leave, which made for an uncomfortable experience where we felt like we were not welcome.

The most alarming part came at the end of the night when I tripped over a large pothole just outside the restaurant. I injured my knee and hand and my shoe was broken. The security staff simply stood and watched as my friend and I tried to stop the bleeding, offering no help, empathy or concern. If this was someone unwell, elderly or disabled it would have been an emergency. I only had two cocktails so it wasn’t related to this at all.

I emailed the venue afterward (after receiving a “no show” email) to share the experience and received what felt like an impersonal, AI-generated response. It was polite but offered no real acknowledgment of the situation, no refund, no gesture of goodwill, not even the service charge removed (something I've now seen offered to others in similar reviews). After spending £140 and walking away injured and humiliated, this level of customer care is simply unacceptable.

One of the owners emailed and said they wanted to “personally make this right” to ask for them when I came back and also that they would give the feedback internally, but this definitely does not address what I went through. Having read the reviews now, it looks like this is not a one off. Take my advice and go somewhere where they have respect, better food and empathy for...