Knott's — Restaurant in Northern Ireland

As a Google reviewer who has ranked in the top ten percent of restaurant reviewers, I know my proverbial onions. The Knott's management could tell I was a class act when I sauntered inside, immaculate beige linen suit, well polished brogues and a diamond tipped cane. Powerful cologne had been doused generously about my person. I had 2 things on my mind, cappuccinos and nut fingers.

A vast array of scones, buns and cakes were displayed in a large glass case in the cafe, at the back of the premises in a high ceilinged atrium lit by radiant sunshine. The fine folk of Ards huddled at tables to exchange juicy gossip over juicy morsels and steaming great pots of tea and coffee.

The almond flakes iced finger I selected was a triumph of lightness and indulgence, spread with a generous slather of butter. El cappuccino with cinnamon complemented it delightfully.

I left with a feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment, telltale crumbs in my long flowing beard. I will be back, my friends. The array of baked goodness shall be investigated thoroughly.

Until next time. Adieu...

Have used Knotts for some time now always enjoying lovely food and great service. However on a recent visit I was so disappointed at level of service. Early morning 920 so not the the usual ques due to how popular this place is. No ques but also no service! I waited with tray in hand and items but no one from counter approached me for rest of order. This went on for a while with at least 4 team members passing me by without even a glance. Knotts has built such a reputation for it's product base over many years but with staff giving this level of service it will take more than great products to sustain in a competitive market place. Needless to say I left without placing an order on this occasion. Hopefully the new owners will share this with their team who were on duty on...

I should really give it 5* as walking in made me feel like Burt Reynolds - minus the toupée (head rug for any of you barbarians out there) - on the film Deliverance.

Odd smell - cross between cat litter + old people's home at 5pm. Not altogether winning. Ever walked in somewhere - + now, I have to say I'm an old bald bloke so nondescript his wife lost him 20 years ago + still can't find him - + everyone stares at you? No - I'm not on drugs. Perhaps unfortunately. I expect the music would've stopped - if they had music.

Thought it unwise to sit down, so bought loaf - which seems OK. Girl serving ached to be surly by using politeness belligerently. I wonder if she did a BA in that? More likely an MA.

Oh...