Mad Hatter — Restaurant in Scotland

We’d been eyeing up The Mad Hatter for months on our monthly visits to Castle Douglas, expecting a bit of Wonderland charm. Instead, we accidentally stumbled into what felt like the Queen of Hearts’ punishment chamber for breakfast lovers.

We were greeted (and I use the term loosely) by a young lady whose face suggested we’d just asked her to personally re-tile our bathroom. Not even the faintest hint of a smile — clearly, grins are off the menu here.

We bravely ordered the Full Breakfast £10.45 and oh my, what a journey that was. Imagine if someone Googled “cheap ingredients” and then ordered them in bulk. The egg was cremated to the point it could’ve doubled as a frisbee. The haggis smelled like it had been exiled from Scotland for bad behaviour. The square sausage looked like it had been pressed in a vice, then left to consider its life choices. Bland doesn’t even cover it — I’ve had more flavour licking an envelope.

Coffee? Don’t even bother. It’s filter or bean-to-cup… so basically “choose your disappointment.” I surrendered and went for tea, which, to be fair, was the best part of the experience. Congratulations to the tea bag — you’re the real hero here.

When it came to paying, I didn’t even get a “thanks” or a “goodbye.” Just the kind of awkward silence you’d expect if you’d broken someone’s lawn gnome. Basics, people. Basics.

If you’re looking for a proper breakfast in Castle Douglas, I’d recommend anywhere but The Mad Hatter. Unless, of course, you enjoy bland food, burnt eggs, and service with a scowl. In that case —...

Visited here at around 1.30pm on 11/11/2022 and stood just inside the entrance next to the large 'Wait to be seated' sign as instructed.

The cafe was moderately busy, albeit from what I could observe all the patrons present had already been served.

I waited there for probably a couple of minutes, maybe a bit longer, whilst watching a young female bespectacled member of staff (the only one evident at that time) standing/leaning on what appeared to be a service area further inside the premises, frantically texting on her mobile phone.

She never looked up from her phone once during the time I was waiting, obviously having more important personal matters to attend to than deal with customers.

Given that, on entering, I was instructed to wait to be seated, I did not consider it appropriate to disrupt already seated patrons by having to shout half way down the cafe to gain her attention.

Consequently, I am unable to comment on the nature/quality of the food, given that I was never invited in to sample this due to a complete lack of any customer service.

I...

Didn’t eat here… NOT dog friendly, simply dog tolerant. We have two tiny non-moulting hypoallergenic dogs, who we bring clean blankets to put across our knee and have them sit on. They said no to that, that there are “rules” they have no choice but to follow. Never, ever been told we can’t do that before. Everything is wipe clean and dogs that moult would have hairs flying everywhere, so not sure what the rules are… also, condensation on front windows very off-putting… went down the way to Wrap ‘n’ Roll Deli Bar, where we got great service and spot on take away rolls. Big shame, as tourists in the area we did a lot of research into locations we could take our dogs with us, and this was the one and...