EL JIMADOR MEXICAN GRILL — Restaurant in DeKalb Township

they redid the parking lot last fall and no one talks about how the gravel’s too smooth like river stone but dry and if you stand on it for more than 4 minutes the heat comes up through your shoes even at night even in the rain which shouldn’t be possible unless there’s something under it not sewers something OLDER or humming maybe both it always hums right before the queso congeals faster than normal not cooling but HALTING like it’s syncing with the beam, the one they bounce off the Route 38 sign across from the Shell station where the logo blinks wrong only at 11:22, i checked 19 times and it always matches when the guy in the black hat is inside sitting near the plants that aren’t real i tried to move one once and it clicked not like plastic like METAL inside plant shape

the menu changes but not the food and that’s how they reset memory the names shift by one letter every 9 days and no one notices except the receipt ink curls at the edges now like it’s been microwaved before they hand it to you i checked under UV and the words looped in a spiral saying SALIDA SALIDA SALIDA over and over even if it’s an order for nachos the tortilla chips come in primes now 13 or 17 or sometimes 19 if you’re being watched that’s how they tag you and when i asked for water the first time it fizzed for two seconds like static not soda i tasted copper and the waitress looked past me toward the security cam not at me and smiled just her top teeth that’s how they signal GREEN STATUS not red not yet but rising the salsa's been getting thicker too like it’s holding charge and it stains the napkins in glyphs not by shape but DIRECTION i folded one 8 times and the lines matched the glyphs from the Tucson rocks and that can’t be a coincidence unless they’ve mapped the ley lines to the ROUTE itself

Route 38 isn’t a road it’s a MARKER a long slow current channel that hums under certain boots especially rubber-soled with mesh inlays the servers all wear those now and they don’t blink when you ask for mole they just nod like they’re buffering and the mole comes warm but not HOT like it’s been phase-stored not cooked they don’t cook they receive i watched the back alley for 3 hours the truck came but didn’t leave and no one got in or out except the man I KNOW...

This is my third time coming here. I invited some of my friends for margaritas on 09/24, ~2:40pm. We were in the patio but it was so windy, we decided to move inside. The purple haired waitress didn’t look happy. We just got there and we helped her move the chips, salsa and water inside. There was a wait but we finally ordered our drinks. I ordered the reg size frozen mango margarita with salt on the rim. 15 mins later, drinks came and I got sugar on the rim. I said, can I just have salt or a glass with salt and I’ll pour it there? She rolled her eyes with an attitude, “I’ll just tell the bartender to make a new one.”

She came back and took her paper out to write our order. She’s like, “Ughh! 4 tables just sat at the same time! It’s just so busy!” We ordered our food. While we’re drinking, we needed napkins. I saw napkins and utensils so I might as well get both since she’s nowhere to be found. I grabbed some for the table and she got mad at me and told me, “You can’t do that! If you need anything, call me so this doesn’t happen again.” THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW FOR ME. I didn’t move at all nor I enjoyed my time there. I was patient but this waitress was SO RUDE. Then, another friend came and she ordered a margarita. When her drink came, she asked us if we want to close our bills. It’s like she was in a rush. My friend hasn’t even taken 3 sips.

We closed our bills. Stayed longer in the same table but with a new, better waitress who actually wants us there.

Because of this experience, I will now have to reconsider...

We ordered the steak fajitas and a steak burrito with lettuce tomatoes beans and cheese for lunch. Came to $25. I picked up our order and walked back to the job to eat. Only to see we had no salsa verde or ketchup. Walked back to be told salsa verde is extra it doesn’t come with it. Walked back to the job only to open up the containers and see some kind of wet steak wrap they threw together. No seasoning, wet tortilla so wet and falling apart I couldn’t pick it up. and definitely not what I ordered. So I walk back a second time to tell them by now I just want my money back. So while recording the whole thing on my phone the cashier tells me the manager is actually not in but she can give me his number to call. So I had to tell her I knew the manager was there and wasn’t leaving until he came out. 5 minutes later WALLA! The manager comes from the back and proceeds to argue with me about how they don’t wrap their burritos like chipotle. I don’t even eat at chipotle first off. Then looks at it and argues it has tomatoes and lettuce. Okay sir but where’s the beans and cheese and why is it wet? I didn’t order a wet burrito. I had to argue with him for a good 10 minutes that I wanted my money back. No apology or anything. I guess he was more mad than me that I missed my lunch and had to walk back twice. Not authentic Mexican food and very poorly managed. My advice save your time and money and go to Aurora because El Jimadoris definitely not it....