The staff was perfectly​ consistent in the low quality of service. The service was very slow but at least the employees didn't care. So that level of dedication was nice to see. This experience felt more like one of the escape the room puzzles than a dinner experience. Our team got out in just over 4 hours.

Step 1 in the game. Find the hostess and get them to acknowledge that you're not a ghost. We split into teams of two and went off on a search. Mission accomplished in just about 10 minutes, with a twist. We have a table ready for you but it's inside - not what you asked for and what we agreed to when you made the reservation. Step 1a, wait another 40 minutes for a table outside. Had a drink at the bar, if you haven't done this you're missing out. This is a rare opportunity to marvel how the bartenders can make drinks with their eyes closed to avoid any accidental eye contact with a customer. 3 out of the 4 of us might still be ghosts. And these bartenders do not see dead people.( For those of you under thirty, that's a Bruce Willis movie reference - not die hard)

"Soon" we were seated and the second Step in the game was revealed. Find your server. Easy right, we quickly formulated a plan and decided that waiting patiently was the best course of action. After 10 minutes we determined that plan to be a failure and moved on to politely asking for assistant. Excuse me sir, I say to an employee as they walk by, could you ask our server to come over when you have moment, "no problem". Fast forward a few more minutes an we're still being ignored. I wonder if he meant, not my problem. This game is harder than I first imagined. I ask another employee who was walking by if they could grab our server. The response, "sorry really busy" - ring the jackpot bells - I found our waitress. She walked past our table three or four times and never said hello or explained that she was slammed. I think that step 2 took about 20 minutes to complete but time is starting to become an abstract construct at this point.

She was about to leave without taking our order so we hurriedly threw in a drink and appetizer order. Appetizer arrived in a reasonable amount of time. Drinks however, well let's just say that the appetizers were finished before the drinks arrived.

Step 3, place an order for food. From past experience, we knew we needed to grab the waitresses attention and we hurriedly delivered our dinner order. We're there any specials? Yes, we overheard another server so we cheated on that one. Anyway, order is in - did we want more drinks. Yes we did. It didn't matter. I think it's fair to say that we at the table for over an hour before we had our first opportunity to place our entree order.

Step 4: wait for your food. This is just an exercise in patience which admittedly was not in high supply at this time. They designed this game well. At this point I began to seek out a manger to speak with. The table objected because we hadn't received our food yet and we're from the thought process that it's dangerous to express dissatisfaction with someone who is handling your food. Food finally arrived, I'm thinking it was about 45 minutes after we order. But again, time - who is the judge of time at El Barzon. Not me.

Step 5: pay the bill and escape.

In summary, if you like poor service, rationing one basket of chips, hunting down employees for attention, and taking 4 hours out of your life for some mediocre food then please visit the escape from El Barzon.