Billy's Thick Beans — Restaurant in Fort Smith

🫘 Billy’s Thick Beans: A Hero’s Journey into Legume Lunacy

The Can That Changed Everything Billy Thompson was an ordinary man with an extraordinary appetite for beans. Not just any beans—Billy’s Thick Beans, the kind that defied gravity, reason, and most spoons. One fateful Tuesday, Billy cracked open a can so dense it emitted a low hum. The beans didn’t pour out. They thudded.

“Thicker than a hippo in a wetsuit,” Billy whispered reverently.

He took one bite and immediately blacked out. When he awoke, he was in a bean dimension—Beanmension—where everything was made of beans. The trees? Pinto. The rivers? Refried. The clouds? Navy beans, lightly salted.

The Bean Trials To return home, Billy had to pass three trials:

The Bean Maze of Flatulence – A labyrinth where every wrong turn triggered a trumpet blast from the walls. Billy navigated it by holding his breath and following the scent of cumin.

The Garbanzo Gauntlet – Chickpeas hurled themselves at Billy like angry toddlers. He dodged, dipped, and dived, powered by the fiber of his breakfast.

The Final Spoon – A sentient ladle named “Sir Stir-a-Lot” challenged Billy to a duel. Billy won by distracting it with a cornbread muffin.

Return of the Bean King Billy returned to Earth, changed. He now spoke fluent bean. He wore a cape made of baked bean labels. He started a podcast called “Thick Talk” where he reviewed bean textures with alarming intensity.

His review of his namesake?

“Billy’s Thick Beans are not just a meal. They’re a lifestyle. They’re a commitment. They’re a legally binding agreement between your taste buds and destiny. 5 out of 5 thuds and The Firmest Handshake...

This place is absolutely to die for. I cannot get enough. Absolutely amazing service and even better beans. These guys really know how to cook em. Pinto beans, green beans, baked beans. You name it. They can literally get you a 40 lb bag of beans in a matter of minutes. Cory is the best. He's always got the hookup when I get a fix for some beans. Bring all your friends and family here because these guys deserve it. They earned this 5 star review through blood, sweat, and sweet American tears baby. Oh did I mention that? Yeah you read that right. Every single worker here straight up bleeds red, white, and blue. Even more of a reason to give them your business. If it were up to me, I would eat here and only here, but the wife can't stand the gas it...

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