Greeley Breakfast Club — Restaurant in Greeley

If you’re looking for a truly immersive dining experience where you can contemplate life, practice patience, and maybe even finish writing your memoir while waiting for breakfast — the Greeley Breakfast Club is your spot!

Our table enjoyed a 90-minute appetizer of absolutely nothing before the main event: food that arrived without enough silverware and with at least one plot twist (a.k.a. wrong order). Coffee refills are rarer than solar eclipses, and asking for one earns you a glare that could curdle milk. Speaking of milk, our baby spilled his drink — which became a permanent part of the décor because apparently cleanup is “DIY.”

When coffee finally made its dramatic entrance, the creamer was delivered with all the grace of a dodgeball throw. As for the food? Let’s just say the pancakes were so flat we considered using them as coasters. Bland, uninspired, and forgettable — the perfect reward for your patience.

Five stars… if you’re rating it as an endurance sport.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to age in real time while waiting for breakfast, this is the place. Ninety minutes for bland, wrong orders, flat pancakes, zero refills, and waitresses who treat creamer like a weapon. Come hungry,...

Do not eat here unless you have an hour and a half to sit and wait for your food without any update or reassurance!

While walking in and being sat immediately, we were told the kitchen was slightly backed up and there was about a 20-25 minute wait for food, which is completely fine and understandable.

Immediately our drink order was taken, and we were told our server would be over shortly to take our orders, again, totally fine.

And finally after 30 MINUTES, our server finally came over and took our orders. After another 30 minutes of waiting and no check-ins or refills, our waitress finally came back, got us refills, and told us the kitchen was still backed up. So we sat back and continued to keep waiting.

45 MINUTES later, we still had no food. So after trying to ask the manager, who assured us that it was on its way out, we waited ANOTHER 10 MINUTES, and no food.

So, we paid for our drinks and very few refills, and left. And of course, Cafe Mexicali came to the rescue and we’re here eating actual good food. This place might have been good, but we didn’t have another 4 hours of our busy day to...

First off the service was very good and the coffee was decent. That being said, the food was about as bland as the mauve interior. I understand that the other locations have been around forever and they are committed to the theme. The food was mid at best. If you're looking for undercooked under seasoned hash browns, eggs and bacon and toast this is a great place. If you want flavor and depth, go somewhere else. Admittedly I am from NM and think tomatoes in the green chile is sacrilegious and the blasphemous amount of tomatoes in their chile is enough to feel the heat on your feet from you know where yet you won't feel the heat on your taste buds because the green chile they use is canned and darn near pickled. I will be back when I just want standard run of the mill bacon and eggs, great service, decent coffee and...