The Unchopped Saga – A Bowlful of Choices
It began, as these things often do, with hunger.
My fridge was a graveyard of takeout sauces and forgotten intentions, so I set out—too lazy to shop, too hopeful to give up—toward my nearby Subway. It was close enough to be convenient, far enough to feel like I earned a meal.
Normally, I’d order a footlong and inhale it with the enthusiasm of a man running from accountability. But today... today, I made a “good choice.” A salad. I mentally patted myself on the back, proud of this not-fully-warranted act of nutritional heroism.
Foolishly waiting to receive a salad instead what i got… parts. A pile. Whole leaves of lettuce sagging under the weight of indifference. Meats folded like napkins. Tomatoes dropped in like an afterthought. It looked less like a meal and more like a dare.
The staff treated my order with the same energy as a tired mother uses when tossing dinner on the table after a long day—it’s food, don’t ask questions. Still clinging to hope, I asked—politely, but already weary—if I could get a knife to chop it myself. “We don’t got knives,” came the reply. Final. Unbothered. Like gravity.
So I took my lonely bowl of confusion home, gave it the attention it deserved—chopped it, reunited its fractured ingredients—and to my own surprise... it was great.
Taste: 5 stars Presentation: performance art Service: emotionally unavailable
In the end, turns out a good salad isn’t complicated—just a few ingredients and a little effort. Think next time I’ll just make the effort to buy the parts myself and skip the surcharge on...
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