Surely one of Europe’s worst theme park.

First of all, about the hotel. It’s surely the cheapest looking hotel I’ve encountered in my life. The rooms are small and hideous. There was mold in our bathroom, we found what seemed to be the remains of chewing gum in our sheets. The shower floods the entire room because of how the room is conceived. Plus, because of how small the room is, the humidity level is awful. We woke up the morning with humidity dripping from the door, and the whole floor was wet. Finally, the sound isolation is nonexistent. You can hear people walking (making the whole “hotel” shake). You basically have the failing too be sleeping in a cheap hostel for broke teenagers.

We also had to go to the reception twice because everything that was given to us was wrong : the fast tracks were for the wrong date, and the team had forgotten to give us the scare mazes access. What a loss of time.

And time was something we needed, even if we had two days in the park. The lines were atrociously long : the operations are the slowest I have ever seen in any theme park. The employees chat all the time and take forever to load and unload the different coasters and attractions, especially on The Swarm, Detonator, Rush, and many more. Furthermore, they sell way more fast tracks than what the attractions can handle.

This situation was even more unacceptable when it comes to Hyperia. The brand new (for a few months now) coaster was running with only one train during our whole trip for technical reasons. The line never went below 130mn. We’ve entered the line when it was written 160mn and finally waited 210mn.

This last issue demonstrates another one : the waiting times, at the entrance of the rides and on the app, were never accurate. So it was like planning a game of “It says 30mn, will we wait 15mn or 60mn ?”.

Furthermore, all the rides were down at least one time during our trip, when it was not several times and sometimes for a few hours. Some rides actually never opened the second day.

We came to Thorpe Park specifically for the Fright Nights, and what a disappointment it was. All the scare zones and shows were as cheap as a fun fair ghost train : costumes that seem to have been bought at a local megastore, actors doing the same thing all the time, dubstep music with school dance choreographies on a cheap stage, actors wearing their coke bottle or stopping their acting to chat with their colleagues in the mazes. Very often, it was not even possible to say if some people were simple guests wearing costumes or actors from the Fright Nights. I’m not going to start on the “IT 4D experience” : half of the effects don’t work, and the only thing scary is the length of this experience.

When it comes to the mazes, 2 are descent, but Survival is clearly just empty dark hallways with people wearing the same outfits and makeup, screaming at you (this is not « intense », it’s just empty). For the 4th one, we don’t know since we were not able to do it because of the lines. We even had to buy a ticket to do one of the mazes the first day, because we knew it would not be possible to do the 4 ones on Saturday. So, we paid a short break, and did only 3 mazes, but only because we paid a ticket. We asked the team if it was possible to exchange and do the mazes on our first day because it was less crowded, they refused.

I mean, the 4th person we asked refused, because another particularity of the workers, especially when it comes to guest relations, is to know nothing and to never have a precise answer (which also seems to be the case for the customer service through email).

I usually don’t talk about ride quality because it’s a whole other subject, and each park has its budget, but let me just say that the ghost train is another one of the irrelevant and boring experiences (one of the actors even hit my friend on the forehead by mistake during the final scene with dancing nuns).

Only a few good points : some employees were nice, and the food was descent (only fastfood, but decent).