I recently went to the Peabody Essex Museum for the first time. Based on that experience, I will never go back.

I stopped here with friends during a weekend away. I had a backpack with me that contained several medications and other personal items, so I didn't trust leaving it in a locker. Well, it turns out that PEM requires patrons to carry backpacks on their sides or fronts. Everything is behind glass cases and most rooms are pretty spacious, but OK, fine.

I started with my bag on my front. At one point I got my lip balm out, and without thinking, I slung the bag back onto my back (automatic action). An older, white, male security guard saw me. Rather than asking me politely to turn it around, he half-yelled, "You can't have that on your back." I recognize I was not following the policy in the moment, and it's his job to enforce it. And if I'd been tapping on display glass or jumping over a rope, that tone might be called for. But for turning around a compact backpack (which, for the record, ended up much closer to the display cases when I wore on my front verus my back)? His behavior was needlessly aggressive.

After that, I carried my bag on my front as we wandered, which was close to an hour. We then decided we were ready to leave after stopping at "All the Flowers Are for Me." Famously, this exhibit is a hanging, encased light installation in an otherwise open, huge room. Also, my friends and I were the only people in there. So, thinking there was nothing to potentially harm in this room, and wanting to give my back some relief, I turned my backpack around.

Within seconds, the man charged into the room. He got inappropriately close to us and once again berated me to turn my backpack around... in this open, enormous room. That confirmed two things: First, he'd been tailing me. Second, his actions were rooted in neither common sense nor an understanding of necessary enforcement. He enjoyed following and bullying.

As we left, the man was sitting on a bench outside the exhibit, appearently reading a pamphlet or magazine. We made our way down to the gift shop... lo and behold, he was suddenly right behind us again. I then passed through the shop to wait in the hall by the coat closet... and there he was again, in the atrium. Not a coincidence.

I should note here that I'm a BIPOC woman. Throughout this experience, I suspected this man's motives were rooted in a specific -ist, as throughout our visit, I saw a few not-BIPOC patrons with bags bigger than mine on their backs. However, as my friends and I left, this man had found a new target: a white patron with a service dog at the front security checkpoint. I wasn't party to the actual conversation, but the man was doing lots of pointing at this woman and her dog, and she looked distressed.

After this experience, I decided to read some reviews of PEM. Sadly, this type of behavior is well documented as having happened regularly among PEM staff going back many years. Moreover, in sharing this story with people I know, one friend told me that when she and her husband, both white, visited PEM several years ago, neither had bags, and they were also followed closely. Moreover, they got admonished for standing too close to the displays. While I wasn't there, I'm confident that these folks were not, in fact, inappropriately close to anything. So, PEM just seems to struggle writ large with respecting patrons.

Discouraging people from supporting museums is not my typical MO, but I can't recommend this one. There are scores of other museums within Salem and the Greater Boston area that invest in better collections and kind, decent staff.

Also, since the museum has replied to negative reviews over time: If anyone from PEM is reading this, don't waste our time by responding with a pat "we're sorry you had a bad experience." You have plenty of evidence of a pattern of aggressive, unacceptable behavior among your staff, and your allowing it to continue means you at least implicitly condone that behavior. If you want to do better, then actually do it.