Cedar Point Lighthouse — Attraction in Sandusky

The Cedar Point Lighthouse is an historical outpost on the outskirts of an abandoned amusement park. We parked the rowboat outside and gazed at it admiringly in the setting sun: more brown that green, shorter in person, stunning with those movie star good looks that strike you down on first impression because you can barely believe such a lighthouse exists in reality.

Come dawn, Constable had informed me that the amusement park was in fact not abandoned and was very much in operation. The lighthouse too was looking much more realistic in the daylight, like a movie star making a guest appearance on a home improvement reality show. We decided to split our sandwich budget and indulge in tickets, to while away the day at the park.

This was a welcome interlude to Constable and I's troubles. We split the amusement park rides forlornly by ourselves, zooming up and down and in every direction, staring wistfully at the memory of where we imagined each other to be while imagining what we would say to each other if we ever saw each other again while knowing that we never would even if we did.

But the island is small as the day is long, so at the bar that night we sat down to compare notes: Many winds and curves in the rides, to the point that one is forced to confront one's relationship with gravity and the inner locust of control. It's locus. No, I brought one back in a jar. Look. It's locus of control. Where did you get that? None of your business. The children struck an admirable balance between formality and raucousness, giving new meaning to business pleasure. Business casual. Business pleather. No one would wear pleather to an amusement park. No one would bring their hired horse to an amusement park but here you are. You're not paying me.

We drank away the rest of the evening, meandered back to the boat, and Constable smoked a cigar to get himself in the mood to shoot off one of his signature lullabies:

I do not wish to be seen. Others have Taunted me with claims that this would be love But I disbelieve them - for what kind of Kindness would hold me hostage from above? I will not perseverate on this though I do and I wonder whether this is Love or if the world was created to Drive me mad in the hope that I would miss The signs that tell me which way I should doubt Until its id's gaze turns me inside out.

Note:

Apologies for my last review, in which I mistakenly called my Vampire Weekend couple's therapist Scott Baio. His name is apparently* Chris...

When we checked in we were assigned a dirty cabin. The front desk was very kind but they definitely need to hire new cleaning staff. Had to go back to the front desk and get a new room. The new cabin had an ant infestation. Woke up the next morning with all closed food covered in ants. Also ants were all over the bathroom and loft. Also, upon check in reservation changed our package. We had ride and refreshed in our original printed confirmation and it was taken off for some reason. The pool was absolutely filthy also and public restrooms at the pool were nasty. We had pizza delivered and it was good and delivered fast. Would definitely never stay here again. Especially for the price. Cedar Point has very low standards for their property and charges and...

This campground is an absolute gem! We stayed here with our family and were blown away by how beautifully maintained everything was—from the clean restrooms and showers to the well-kept grounds and campsites.

The location by the lake is stunning. Waking up to the sound of birds and sipping coffee with a lake view felt like something out of a dream. The kids had a blast swimming, exploring, and hitting the roller coasters. There were plenty of shaded spots, picnic tables, and even a little beach area that made it easy to relax and enjoy nature.

We stayed in a cabin and we’d absolutely...