Fun Station — Attraction in Tallahassee

Are you in the mood for being swindled, but your local mafia office is closed? Have you not had enough of that sinking feeling everything you do means nothing? Do you have an excess of money, but would rather not patronize anything remotely enjoyable? Well, you're in luck, because Fun Station is here to save the day!

Before leaving for Fun Station, be sure to review the famous experiment where mice are presented with a lever. When they press the lever, they are granted a treat or other pleasurable stimuli. The mouse just keeps pressing the lever ad infinitum, because they just keep getting treats. This is every single game at Fun Station. It's amazing how many different variations of the same "press one button get a random number of tickets" they can make, but apparently they can make at least 15 different games based off this one principle. How is this even remotely fun for anyone but the person counting the profits at the end of the day?

Ok, so you've had your fill of pressing one button and hoping for the best, now what? Well, step on over to the claw games! I tried at least 4 different claw games while I was there, and each one had it's own unique way of cheating you out of your money. I mean, no one expects these things to be honest, but we all would appreciate them at least pretending you have a chance at winning. No such luck with these games. One claw game actually closed it's clamps before it got to the level of the prizes. I suspect that these claw games are actually a message from the universe letting you know that everything is an illusion and nothing you do matters.

The few traditional arcade games they did have were either broken, or out of order. The Skee Ball didn't dispense any tickets one of the times I played. The Hoop Shoot game was defective so that none of the balls rolled out. The one next to it someone threw all the balls into a different machine so it effectively took your money. At least the person who did that got some kind of entertainment out of the deal.

Hopefully you do not have any children under the age of 5 or 6 with you, because just about all they'll be able to do is press that one "Button o'Luck" and hope for the best. I know from experience they will not be any luckier than the Adult Humans in your party. I was hoping that somehow the Gods would have blessed my daughter with some sort super power that consisted of a freakish winning streak, or at least Luck +5, but no such blessings were bestowed this day. There was basically nothing else age appropriate for her to do which was disappointing because she was honestly the only reason we subjected ourselves to the whole ordeal.

So with worldview shattered, hopes and dreams crushed, you pick up your tickets and head over to ticket counting machine. As the final crushing blow to your spirits, you'll find all the prizes ridiculously over priced. I've been to similar places in other towns, and they were never that bad. I mean, yeah, they were bad, but more like pawn shop bad, not loan shark bad. At Fun Station, watch as your money magically depreciates in value, you'll gasp in awe as dollars become fractions of a penny! A ring pop was 300 tickets. We spent 20 dollars and only ended up with 270 tickets.

In the end, I would not recommend going to this place if you are looking for either a good value to fun ratio. However, I do highly recommend it if you know someone who enjoys internet cafes, slots, bingo, self torture, wasting money, or otherwise wishes for some reason to subject themselves to extreme situations of frustration.

1/10 would...

It's sad that we live in a world now where children can't even go to local arcades or game places without being assaulted verbally or physically by an adult. This past Friday, my family went to celebrate another family member birthday at the local fun station here in town, when playing a friendly game of laser tag later resultant in my child been physically assaulted and call a Ni* and a B* by a Caucasian adult. This happened because they Won the game of laser tag. While all of this was happening his adult female friend stood by and did not intervene or stop him from assaulting my 10 year old child. Not only did he physically assault my child he also called the other children names like this intimidating and bullying minor children. When this coward slapped my child my other child jump in between them and the other children ran to tell the adults that were there. His friend then told him to hurry up and leave at that point he fleed Fun Station when my husband and the other family members went looking for him the workers knew exactly who this man was and refused to give his information. They took their time to call the local Tallahassee Police Department which when they arrived we're not very helpful at first they found out that he did not live in city limits. And basically told us that they have no jurisdiction however they refused to turn over jurisdiction to the local sheriff department so that they can charge this adult for assault, child abuse and a hate crime. Fun Station is not cooperating with us they act as if they weren't liable for any of this knowing that a worker was supposed to be in the room because of the number of people playing laser tag the owners acts as if nothing ever happened. I know that this is not Andrew  which is the person who assaulted my child has done this before because he wouldn't have been so comfortable doing it again. Please help me put pressure on Tallahassee Police Department so that they can give this case to the correct police officials so this coward can be charged for what he did not only to my child but to every child that was affected by...

The party captain was nice enough, but she suggested that we wait to give all the kids the game cards until after they ate pizza, had birthday cake, etc. Which was a MISTAKE!! The kids were all RESTLESSLY WAITING to have some fun, they COULD HAVE been playing games while the pizza was cooking. THEN, we were promised that our son, the birthday boy, would get $10 game card, and all other kids $5 game card. He never got it. Also, a couple of extra kids showed up towards the end of the party... we understood we would have to pay extra but then there were a couple more kids who didn't get cards. I know that's not Fun Station's fault, but the whole experience could have been a lot better and could have went more smoothly. The party captain helped with handing out pizza, etc. but she was SLOW. SO, I did jump in and help but I was so wore out by the time the party was over. The point of having a party captain is to save me from doing ALL THE WORK of cleaning, etc. Also, my son is mildly autistic; when he and his friends and his sister went into laser tag, something happened in there that only he knows about and won't share... but when he exited laser tag, the employee running it should have been at their station to help guide him back in gently. I know they probably aren't trained to deal with special needs, but it was disturbing for me as his mother to come out of the ladies restroom to find my son sitting at a game by himself (WITHOUT A GAME CARD), moping or pouting with a sad face because he walked out of laser tag. This place really does...